The Sunnyside Deli Corporation

THE SUNNYSIDE DELI CORPORATION

1:33AM - A TRAIN

The young man, half awake on the train, his name is Sebastian. A lost soul, wondering in purgatory. He’s on his way to his uncle’s deli in Sunnyside to work the night shift. Apparently he’s an actor, or at least I think he thinks he’s one. No one really knows who he is, what he does. He comes in and out, and fades away into the void. Every. Single. Day...

3AM? - SUNNYSIDE, QUEENS

It’s an eerily quiet night in Sunnyside, Queens. Nothing is in sight but the soulless desolate void. Sebastian smokes a cigarette outside his uncle’s deli, The Sunnyside Deli Corporation, best known for their...uh...what ARE they known for? They’re open 24 hours. WHY? Don’t worry about it. No one really knows why and it doesn’t really matter so go fuck yourself. Hey, you never know…What if a guy wanted a chopped cheese at 3AM? Is that too much? Is it also too much to ask to not DROWN my sandwiches in MAYO and cheap SHREDDED LETTUCE? Why do you ASSUME THAT I WANT MAYO AND KETCHUP IN THE FIRST PLACE? IF I WANTED KETCHUP AND MAYO I WOULD’VE ASKED BUT I DIDN’T ASK! DID I?! What are you from fucking Williamsburg?

The Sunnyside Deli Corporation was founded by Sebastian’s uncle, Eduardo Salazar, after arriving in the U.S in the mid 80’s. Once an young idealistic freedom fighter with the F.A.R.C in Colombia, Mr. Salazar DIPPED from the communist struggle once he realized that the forces of U.S imperialism was too powerful to fuck with, at the time being. SOMEHOW, Palpatine returned, and SOMEHOW Mr. Salazar got a green card and landed in Miami after telling his commanding officer in the Choco Jungle that he was shopping for groceries. Mr. Salazar never returned. Watch Narcos or whatever tacky horseshit is on Netflix or whatever is the next garbage streaming platform is to get an idea of what he went through in Miami. Mr. Salazar might get his own spin off, but I digress...This tale is about his nephew, the ACTOR, the THESPIAN, THE CHOSEN ONE?

3:15 AM

Sebastian stands behind the deli counter in silence. He looks like a soulless skeleton under the ugly and harsh fluorescent lighting. Still a little handsome though. A little black book and an overpriced artesian pencil is on the counter in front of him. In this book he writes notes for future screenplays he’ll never finish. For some reason the deli phone begins to ring. As it does he thinks to himself, “Who uses landlines anymore?”. He stares at the phone and lets it ring until it stops. It begins to ring again. Sebastian slowly reaches for the phone and answers. “Uh...Hello….HELLO?”. Ominous breathing, creepy even, is coming from someone on the other side. Slightly creeped out, Sebastian slowly ends the call. He opens up his notebook and jots down some notes. That would've been cool in a movie...I guess...

3:45 AM

Sebastian is restocking some eggs in the fridge. A well dressed man in an expensive looking suit walks into the deli. Sebastian pays no mind to him. The mysterious man stares at Sebastian as he continues to restock the eggs. Sebastian feels his presence getting closer to him. He turns around slowly. The mysterious man is right up in Sebastian’s face, breathing slightly hard. They both don’t budge an inch. They don’t blink once. “I want to you fuck my wife.” the mysterious man says. Sebastian stays silent, a tad in shock. The mysterious man repeats himself, “I. Want. You. To. Fuck. My. Wife.”. “How does she look like-- I mean-- uh-- why?” Sebastian says. The mysterious man takes out a crumpled plastic bag and slowly hands it to Sebastian. The mysterious man slowly backs away and leaves the deli. Sebastian slowly puts the eggs and the crumpled bag down. He takes out his small black notebook and his artisan pen and jots down some notes. Whatever idea he has is probably retarded, sorry I meant stupid, you can’t say retarded anymore...

4:45 AM

Sebastian stares at the crumpled bag from behind the counter. He still hasn’t opened it. Mr. Salazar barges into the deli, bloodied and battered, with fear in his eyes. Sebastian hasn’t seen him in a couple of weeks. He’s screaming in Spanish. His gibberish will be translated into English because I don’t feel like typing this garbage in Spanish. Ok, here it goes. “RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE, JESUS, FUCK!” Another man barges into the deli, also screaming in Spanish, but he’s Dominican so speaking way too fucking fast, so this is what i think he said: “YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER! WHERE’S MY FUCKING MONEY!?”. The angry Dominican guy said, clearly fucking raged. “Please, I beg you, give me one week… and I’ll--, the Dominican guy punches Mr. Salazar before he can finish his sentence. Salazar stumbles to the floor with more blood seeping from his face. “You dirty fucking degenerate! I’ll fucking expose you to your whole fucking family you understan--.” The Dominican guy then notices Sebastian, just calmly standing there writing in his black book. “Who in the fuck are you?” the Dominican guy said. The Dominican guy slowly walks to the counter. They stare at each other in silence. The Dominican guy notices the crumpled bag in the counter, he looks at for a beat more, then asks “What’s in the bag?”. “Uh-- hmmm-- your mom?” Sebastian said timidly. The Dominican guy takes out a pistol from his inner jacket pocket and points it at Sebastian. Sebastian stares back blankly. “You’re not worth the bullet.” said the Dominican guy. Mr. Salazar then rushes behind and slashes the Dominican’s throat. “YOU WANT YOUR MONEY NOW YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER?” This is where I’m confused...But uhh--

The now dead Dominican guy lies on the floor of the desolate deli. No soul in sight besides Sebastian and Mr. Salazar. Mr. Salazar nonchalantly walks towards the deli door and flips the sign from “Open” to “Closed”. Mr. Salazar lights a cigarette and slumps towards the counter. “You can’t smoke in here.” Sebastian said. Mr. Salazar opens the crumpled bag. It contains $20,000, give or take. Mr. Salazar passes Sebastian the cigarette, he stares at it. “I don’t smoke.” Sebastian said. Mr. Salazar smiled and said “You do now.” Sebastian slowly grabs the cigarette and takes a puff. “You know, when I was a hip young man, such as yourself, I dabbled with forces beyond my comprehension. I did my duty, for the new republic. Perhaps I was a naïve fool, but I just did what I thought was right. I soon realized that the fight was futile...evil will always prevail, somehow.” Sebastian’s face begins to turn numb. Everything begins to wiggle a bit, he feels funny. He quickly opens his black book, because-- uh-- what's happening right now, it's good material, i think...But Sebastian is unable to get a proper grasp of his overpriced artisan pencil. Mr. Salazar and Sebastian stare at each in other silence. “You better fuck that guy’s wife, if you know what good for you. But first, um, we should uh--” Mr. Salazar realizes the body Dominican guy’s body is gone. He stares back at Sebastian in shock. Sebastian slowly backs away and leaves the deli.

6:66 AM

“I didn’t consent to this, not at all...Not one bit...but here I am. Didn’t ask for this...didn’t want this. But. Here. I. Am. I’m sorry....”

Sebastian begins to throw up profusely while running through the desolate nighttime streets. He’s on fire too. It's actually kind of impressive how he’s running and throwing up at the same time, you know, while he’s on fire and stuff.

No one hears his pain, his cries, he continues to burn. It’ll never end. He eventually accepts it and gets on his knees. He makes peace with his fate as he continues to burn...Everything slowly fades to black, but for a brief second he sees everything.

1:33AM - A TRAIN

The young man, half awake on the train, his name is Sebastian. A lost soul, wondering in purgatory. He’s on his way to his uncle’s deli in Sunnyside to work the night shift. Apparently he’s an actor, or at least I think he thinks he’s one. No one really knows who he is, what he does. He comes in and out, and fades away into the void. Every. Single. Day...