Test my Meth, Officer!

When you’ve used enough drugs that you tell police you eat meth sandwiches or you call the boys to ask for meth testing to ensure its safety, it’s time to get help. You can only continue spiraling downhill from this point and clearly cannot make rational choices.

The following people need this memo because in each case, they asked police to test their drugs -or made meth sandwiches.

Meth. It’s one hell of a drug.

Alabama Woman Calls Police Asking Them to Test Tainted Drugs

What feeling in the world could be worse than thinking your meth dealer gave you dope tainted with another drug or something that didn’t belong in it! Can’t mix that battery acid and pseudoephedrine with the WRONG stuff, idiot!

In 2019, Alabama woman Jennifer Colyne Hall called the police asking for police assistance. A Limestone County Sheriff’s Office deputy visited Hall’s home in Toney. Upon arrival, Hall handed him a clear plastic bag she had removed from a container of baby wipes.

She proceeded to ask the officer to test her “dope,” concerned that it had somehow been tainted with another drug. The officer took the baggie from Hall and discovered that it contained methamphetamine.

Florida Man Back at It

Douglas Peter Kelly is the genius who, in 2018, took his meth directly to a Florida police station (and did not collect $200 or pass go) to request they test the drug after he suspected the dealer tainted it with something, like another drug.

He promptly requested that his drug dealer be arrested if it was determined that he had “been given the wrong narcotics.” He suspected that it was the wrong drug because he had a “violent reaction” after smoking what he thought was methamphetamine. He told police he suspected the drug was actually Flakka.

He provided officers with a piece of aluminum foil that contained a clear-crystal-like substance later testing positive for methamphetamine. Kelly was charged with felony narcotics possession.

A Batch of Bad Meth

A Montana woman called 911 to report that she had purchased a batch of bad meth, citing that it left a “bad taste in her mouth.” Margery Ann Dayrider told Officer Jon Marshall that she thought she had been given bad meth and had a violent reaction to it, causing vomiting and a tingling tongue.

Dayrider told the cop, “I do meth three times a day every day and have never had this reaction before.” Dayrider said that she and her boyfriend had purchased the drug the night before and that she injected herself at 9 AM, 11 AM, and 3 PM.

While speaking with the officer, Dayrider said that she “still had some meth inside her bra.” She then provided the remaining narcotics to the officer, who field tested them positive for methamphetamine.

Dayrider had warrants out for her arrest and was given new charges of felony narcotics possession after the incident.

Boy, Get in That Kitchen & Make Me a Meth Sammich!!

In October 2019, an Arkansas brother and sister were stopped by Hot Springs, Arkansas police after the car they traveled in pulled out of a parking lot without its headlights.

The officer smelled marijuana and noticed that the driver, 29-year-old Elizabeth Marie Catlett was acting nervous and suspicious. She told officers there were no drugs inside the car.

Her brother, 33-year-old Don Russell Furr, sat in the passenger seat.

When backup arrived, the officers searched Catlett. They found a small plastic wrapped bag with several small scraps of paper, cut-up straws, and several other plastic bags. Police found methamphetamine residue inside the paper and on the straws.

She told the police that it was not hers. Police arrested her.

When officers asked Furr if there was anything illegal in the car, he told them if there was, it would be ice in the console. Police found the drug and a glass smoking pipe in the console. Furr was then taken into custody.

Furr admitted that he used meth with his sister the day before.

Altogether, police found 0.5 grams of meth in the vehicle.

Catlett refused to submit to a chemical test, though police witnessed needle marks indicative of IV drug usage on her arm. As police read her Miranda rights, Catlett told them that if she “pops hot” it was because her brother fed her a meth sandwich.

Asked to elaborate, Catlett told police that her brother made those sandwiches for her often. She also said that her brother had put meth in her drink earlier in the day.

Both people were charged with possession of meth and possession of drug paraphernalia. Catlett was also charged with DWI and refusal to submit to a chemical blood test.