Oh, Evan...

In the old city of Axilla, street vendors line the tight streets, the smell of their frying food filling the air with a thin haze, peasants chattering as they sieve their way through the crowds. From the tavern, a blonde-haired man with fair skin and blue eyes stepped out backwards while vividly telling a tale of his head getting stuck in a chamber pot. His voice husky, and despite his wool clothes itching his skin and his leather shoes two sizes too big, Evan's smile was larger than life. Two men, Clyde and Davis, followed him, hunched over one another hysterically laughing till their cheeks soaked with tears and their chests tightened from amusement. As he told his tale, Evan swung his arms out. His arm meeting a rushing man's throat with a powerful wallop. The man was sent flying right on his back, and while holding his throat he let out an agonized groan. Three knights parting through the crowds with great urgency, hollering "GET OUT THE WAY! STOP HIM!". They came to a stop. All heads angled down to the man in the dirt, then to Evan who stood stunned, arms still held outward.

Without question, the knights snatched the convict up onto his feet. One of the men in silver clapping Evan in the back and thanking him for his heroism. "It was nothing at all really~" Evan, though he was still confused, said in a confident voice. The knight chuckled and told him if he followed, he could collect his reward. Reward? Evan questioned in sync with his friends he peaked their heads around him.

Yes, a reward. The man Evan had accidentally struck in the throat was a thief. But what did he steal? Spoons. He stole spoons from the royal family. Now, this was not a big deal however it happened so much the queen would grow worried about a shortage of spoons in her kingdom. For such a petty crime, there was a high reward. By the Knight Commander himself, Evan was gifted $20,000, in change.

Upon leaving the manor house, Evan leaped out holding hefty burlap sacks that contained his reward. He sang out in glee, gloating of his good fortunes to everyone he passed. Waving around the heavy bags that clinked as chimes with his fast movement. Clyde and Davis followed not far behind still stunned into speechlessness. While Evan sang like a tone-deaf canary, he felt someone take a hold of his sleeve. His tone cut off when he glanced down.

Who held onto his sleeve was a sight to see, a leather-faced man, a milky glaze covered his eyes and his skin draped over his bones. Dressed in layers of rags, body trembling from lack of energy." Sir~" The old man rasped," Can you spare just a few cents~ please, just enough for some soup" He begged. Instead of sparing a few cents so the man could fill his empty stomach or quietly decline, Evan went in an uproar. Snatching his arm away, and cursing at the old man. Proclaiming if he gave the old man a few cents he would have to give everyone a few cents, then he would be penniless once more just like the man. Evan spewed profanities at him, claiming the old man would have never looked at him twice on a regular day but due to his newly found wealth he wanted to leech on him. The old man moved away with a frown, watching the blonde-haired man throw a theatrical fit even when he moved away. From under his robe, the old man pulled out a little black book, warn down along the book's spine, and pencil the size of a thimble was wedged in its center. He murmured a few words as he flipped the book open and wrote something quickly. The nub of a pencil glowing a faint glowing green. As did the bags of money Evan swirled around, glowing green, and the illumination faded before Evan even noticed.

With his new wealth, he bared no expense. Clothes made of the finest silk and shoes tailored to the size of his feet. To celebrate, he told his dear friends to join him back at the tavern for a feast. Not just any feast. Evan bought every pound of meat, a loaf of bread, an ear of corn, and gallons of stew that the establishment had. Onlookers watched with their eyes wide and jaws dropped. Seeing their expressions Evan laughed out loud and proclaimed the onlookers may take a seat with him but only to watch as he ate every morsel down to the crumb set on the table before him. The small crowd frowned and glared away. The food before him pulsated a few times with a green glow a few times before ceasing. Evan, who drooled, could no longer hold back his hunger as he took a mighty bite into a large chicken leg. He paused. His face turning green. Evan hurled what he just ate back onto the plate, to onlookers' surprise the plate was flooded with wiggling maggots. A wave of ew's went through the tavern. Evan stood from his chair in a panic and broke a piece of bread open, quickly eating a chunk to cleanse his pallet. Only for him to gag, part his lips and sand poured from his mouth. The wave of ew's from the crowd turned into laughter. His face flushed red, Evan darted behind the counter and into the kitchen.

After Evan cursed at the chef and managed to get his buffet-sized meal for free, he stormed out the tavern, the customer's still booming with laughter inside. Evan, in his embarrassment, from across the sea of people he spotted the one soul who can make his heart flutter. Evelyn. Just glancing at her all his worries went away, from her vibrant smile to the curls in her hair. Or quite possibly he adored her cause their names were similar. The fair maiden lingered outside the blacksmith's shop, searching for a long-curved blade perfect for carving the wood of barrels. Evan peeked over her shoulder and tapped her. She looked over with a nod, politely greeting him.

"You know dear Evelyn I can buy you any one of those that you fancy"

"I am very capable of buying them myself but thank you, besides, last I heard you were scrapping up pennies for shoelaces"

"Oh, did you not hear the news? I am a hero"

"A hero?"

"Yes~ I risked my life to catch a murderer. As a reward for my heroism, I was given quite a large amount of money"

"Oh, congratulations Evan"

"Thank you, with my new earnings I was hoping possibly we could stroll through the rose gardens together"

"No thank you Evan I have plans"

"Well, what if I paid you to accompany me?"

Her eyes glowed a shade of green for a brief moment before she faced him looking appalled, "Like some sort of escort? Evan even if you were the richest man in the city, my heart would not be there to ever be with you, no matter the price" Evelyn said, her voice smooth like a rose petal but her word stung like the wasp that lay on it.

Evan's dashing smile turning into an insulted frown before he sneered her name and told her she would regret her words and one day grovel for such an opportunity.

He stormed off through the crowd and cussed at anyone who bumped into him. For he is Evan, the handsome brave hero who stopped a dozen murders, is what he boasted. Though those in passing looked to him strangely *as his tongue illuminated green. Soon a child bumped into him and Evan had enough. He snatched the child by the arm and hollered " How dare you bump into me! Make way! For I am E~" He cut off. Suddenly squealing like a pig. The child broke out into laughter, others who had witnessed the incident also snickered. Evan let the child go to quickly covered his mouth. He opened his mouth to say his name again but what came out was the noise of a squealing pig.

He started to sweat, his heart racing as he ran as fast as he could to the nearest doctor. As he grabbed the handle the door would not budge an inch. Evan peeked through the window and saw the doctor closing up for the day. He banged on the door angrily. The doctor looked up from his sweeping, shook his head no, and tapped his watch. Evan reached to his side, thinking he would grab one of his sacks of money to bribe him but only found one.

His eyes bulged out his head in a panic patting his sides. Evan sat up and bolted to the tavern, the last place he could have possibly had it. He burst through the door and the place grew silent. In a booming voice, Evan demanded the customers to come forward if they have seen his fortune. One of the customers, clutching his tankard, snickered" Should hold on tight to ya money Eric, you ran out and Clyde and Davis took ya loot and took off in the other direction"

" My name is not ERIC it is EV~" Evan shouted but proceeded to, unwillingly, squeal like a pig when he got to his name. The whole tavern erupted in a mixture of heckling, giggling and deep bell laughing.

In a tizzy of Evan's rage, glancing at all the people who were bright red with laughter he hollered" ENOUGH". He stood at the counter and held up his last sack of coins, glaring at the customers. He dropped it onto the table and smiled with a scowl, asking the waitress to fetch him every last ounce of ale left in the tavern. Evan chuckled and in a mocking tone," Dare laugh in my misery, and surely you unmuzzled fly-bitten hedge pigs, who stay here till the hours of the early sun, don't mind if I have the last of what you came here for" He snickered as the hearty waitress rolled around the counter a large barrel, and sat it up for him. She took a crowbar popped the lid open for him and told him to have at it then, taking his bag of change and walked off. Evan, who still grinned from ear to ear, instead of dunking a tankard into the caramel-colored drink dunked his whole head in. The drink having a green sheen over it for a brief second. Coming back up for air and swallowing mouthfuls. Doing this till he was hugging the barrel, sitting on the floor, and face flushed red. Though after getting halfway through the barrel, his head did not come up for air. A few bubbles came to the surface before stopping.