Invisible

There's something very appealing about libraries. No matter if it's inside a university campus, downtown or across the country, they're some sort of similar space where imposed peace and common goals are met. It's a place where you immediately know you must keep quiet, even if it's the first time you visit one because somehow, you just know you gotta be respectful of the knowledge being acquired and preserved there. And it doesn't matter if it's big and renowned or small and abandoned, they're kind of the same breed.

I like the solitude I can achieve because it doesn't matter if it's completely empty or somewhat full (for I have never seen one so filled with people one could not enter) everyone seems to mind their own business, and everyone gets that one's not to be disturbed. And what fascinates me the most is that despite all this solemn feeling in the air that you can practically touch while being inside a library, you can see all this life just happening all around you.

– So, what do you think about the scene? – the man was standing behind a barricade tape. Forensics were still taking pictures of the body. He was holding a bag with what appeared to be the body’s suicide note.

– Well – he took a big breath – There’s no ID, the school’s uniform doesn’t seem to fit that well so it’s fair to guess it’s not hers. Forensics hasn’t found any blades or knives which she could have cut herself. And it was definitely planned.

– How so?

– Go stand in the hall, like you’re going to another bookshelf. Can you see the blood? Now try going back and forth to the entrance. Can you see something?

– Maybe that’s just a chance. The note says that she used to sit here all the time looking at people.

– Yes. But still, it’s strangely odd that you can’t see her body or the blood from anywhere other than almost standing right next to her.

I'm used to being invisible. People never seem to look at me when I walk into the store, I often try to cough or make noise but no one seems to notice. I've tried to bump into people but that doesn't seem to work either. And it's not that bad once you start thinking of it as a trait instead of a flaw. I started to take notice of patterns in people, the behavior of my classmates and I started watching and learning about them. That's mainly why I loved coming to the library. In here, everybody's like me. Everyone is so involved in their own affairs that we all become invisible. And here is where I started to learn.

I discovered affairs people were having in the paleontology section, where only a group of glassed-eyed misfits came twice a month for the same 3 books; I witnessed a shy proposal and I heard the girl say that it was exactly what she's always dreamed of, no fuss, no people, just them and lots of books; I watched 4 different police officers doing their duty diligently but taking no interest in books whatsoever; and I noticed him, skinny, messy hair, shy, invisible...like me.

– So, do we know who she was?

– Not yet. The librarian says that she has come every week for five months now but she never checked out any book. She actually doesn’t remember her even reading any books.

– Well, from that letter I’m guessing she came to watch people, not books. Does the librarian know who the skinny kid is?

– No. She can’t remember anyone by that description.

– Have you talked to the girl who found the body?

– Yes. Laura, she’s 15 and says she was looking for a paper to quote when she smelled something weird. The librarian heard her scream and found the kid sobbing next to the body, she thought they knew each other.

You might think that when you’re invisible, you become shy, an introvert, awkward, or just plain strange. And most of the time you’d be right. But when you meet another invisible, you just simply connect. You find yourself in a common ground, with similarities, just another one of your kind, a kindred spirit, and when you’re with someone like that, emotions like shame or coyness cease to exist.

We started sharing notes about the people we watched. He had a different approach than me. I focused on people but he paid attention to book genre. There was a couple who always did young adults, then universal literature, languages and lastly historic fiction; and an elder came every Tuesday straight to sci-fi, spent almost 3 hours just browsing, and then left; and a small girl with pink hair came every Wednesday to the drama section, which is where he found out that there are also invisible spots...