INFATUATED DIARIES

¨L-O-V-E is not just a word, love is more than caring or being loyal or honest to your significant other. Its about waking up everyday happy to see the same face and live with that person and take care of that person for weakness or health¨.

¨Its about willing to thrive and fight for what you love and who you love. You have to be a warrior because staying in love is hard. Unless you know what you truly want for that person rich or poor¨.

My true love wrote those sayings in his book ¨Warrior To Lust¨ it was the most touching book I ever read.

Even though it was not published I still read his book like it was the only thing on earth. He´s such a talented and smart man that knows exactly what to say to a lady. Every time I read his books its as if he is talking about me. I feel all special and I get butterfly in my stomach. I feel a connection between us both.

Thing about it is he is my neighbor. I did not know until I fully moved in and he was being a gentlemen by helping me with my furniture. I knew right then and there we were soul mates. Although he spoke about his wife and children he did not seem to happy to be married and I totally understand why.

His wife is a dead weight I honestly did not understand why a man would settle for something less. If you ask me his wife is a disgrace to being a mother and she should have never had children that spoiled and selfish. He deserve someone better and able to aid his needs, not just have children and cheer him on. He needs more.

Every time I see him I just want to aid him with love and joy and care I think if he to ever propose I would be his partner in crime. I imagine us dancing underneath the stars just smiling at each other nothing to bother us. I think if I was to have his children he would not think twice about leaving the ones he has now.

Everything grabs my attention by this man either its his sweet big pearly white smile or his joy and glee to the community. I love the sweet and rich smell of cologne he wears that trails when he walks away. Its like he is still there.

¨That man would not give another woman the time of day. We all know he loves his wife¨.

They use those words all the time describing him like he loves his wife and children. Though I can see right through his soul that deep down he wants a real woman. Someone strong and willing to rise by his side. His wife can barely even get a job. I always wondered what he seen in her.

I just like looking at him and watching every move of his. I know he felt the same way that same exact day when he introduced himself. I knew he was infatuated by my beauty and soft spoken words. I just wanted him to say...

¨Dance with me into the horizon where we both can stare at each other drilling in our love with silence¨.

¨Take my hand if you trust me and lets run far away. My wife I do not love but you I feel like jumping in front of 1,000 flying knives for you¨.

I of course wanted to respond as such in a dramatic way like...

¨We may but what about those vile children that woman gifted you I will not let you leave them as witness¨.

I imagined everything to play out as an old romance movie. I wanted him to make me the plus 1 of his world. I wanted him to get on one knee and say I do. Though unfortunately the slave he calls his wife is standing in my way of opportunity with her disgusting children.

Sometimes I think about taking his pain away by hurting her badly where she would never see a light again. Except for the one she would have to try not to go in.

She took him away from me making me lonely. I have no children running around my home or someone to cook for me in the morning. I have no one to treat me as such. Like my mother always say you have to rid of them all to have for yourself. What I really wanted was my true love to fall for me and not continue to love her.

SHE DESERVES TO BURN IN HELL AND BE TORTURED BY THE DEVIL HIMSELF!

I want her to suffer and feel as much pain I feel because she has happiness and I am left in the shadows.

MY LOVE IS BEING KEPT FROM ME BECAUSE OF SOME RING!

My hatred is growing everyday when I see that smile on her face when he kisses her or makes her feel good about herself. Though I sit in this window watching all the time wondering why the hell does he LOVE HER!

SHE IS A DISGRACE!

SHE IS RUINING MY CHANCES OF HIM TO PROPOSE!

SHE IS RUINING OUR FUTURE OF HAVING CHILDREN!

I deserve him not her. I just wish people understand that he is not happy with her and that he rather be with me and kiss me and make me feel great about myself.

YET I DO NOT SEE A GOT DAMN THING! not a flower or a letter or some type of compliment or thank you. except I do everything but I always keep my word this is not the last of me. I would do anything to have him.

EVEN IF I HAVE TO KILL HER ENTIRE FAMILY.

To Be Continued...