Hit & Miss

It was the perfect morning for a run. I had my music blasting in my ear buds and had kept a good pace all morning. I rounded the corner on my street that had a solid row of trees lining each side of the road for the final stretch to my house. The closer I got, my neighbor Phil reading the newspaper on his front porch came into view. He waved as I slowed and walked up the walkway to the shared porch of our condos.

“Morning!” I said breathlessly.

“Good morning! Looks like you got a package. Pretty early for a delivery.” He replied.

I finally noticed the large box sitting right in front of my door.

“Thanks for keeping an eye out for things like that. I appreciate it.”

“What are neighbors for? Have a nice day Noah!” With that, he walked inside.

I picked up the box which was heavier than I expected and unlocked my door. Walking through the living room and to my kitchen, I placed it on my kitchen table and headed for the shower. I had worked up a good sweat.

After the shower and before I got dressed, curiosity got the best of me and I went into the kitchen to open the package. It didn’t have any labels or postmarks on it which was a bit strange. I ripped the tape off and opened the top only to find a large army green duffle bag inside. Cautiously and confused, I unzipped a small portion of the bag to see if something was in it since it looked rather bulky.

To my surprise, I found it completely full of crisp bills, all neatly stacked inside the bag. I pulled a few stacks out and tried to estimate how much money was in there. While digging through and roughly counting, I saw a black notebook in the middle of the money. It looked worn and had a pen hooked to the front cover. I sat down in a chair, still wearing nothing but a towel and opened the notebook.

Each page had a name written at the top and it looked like almost every page had writing on it. Below the names were random pieces of information.

Carson Smith

Mechanic

6’2

Allergic to nuts

Single

Jamie Carpenter

Ballerina - currently touring the US

In a relationship - S.O. unknown

Rehearses downtown everyday at 5 AM

Ian Stafford

Local drug dealer - mainly MJ

In and out of rehab

Former student at the state university.

I kept flipping through the pages not finding any kind of pattern whatsoever. Each entry was written in a different handwriting and ink color and the amount of information varied for each person.

What did this all mean? I kept looking from the notebook to the bag of money. Who would give me this much cash and a list of names?

My heart dropped and I choked on the sharp intake of breath.

A list of names. Profiles. Information that could help me find people. Did someone think I was a hitman? What could I have done to give someone the impression I provided these services?

I put all the money and the notebook in the bag and back into the box. I dressed in a quick blur, I just wanted to take everything to the police and let them deal with it.

This wasn’t an emergency so I called the local police station.

“This is Officer Bowen, how can I help you?”

“My name is Noah and I think I need to report a package that was left at my doorstep this morning by mistake.”

“Did it contain any kind of explosives sir?”

“No! No-o nothing like that-t. Geez. I have no idea who left it but it was a duffle bag inside of a cardboard box. No names or return address on it. When I looked inside it had a very large amount of cash and a black diary or something.”

“Can I get your address please Mr. - ?”

“Bridger. Noah Bridger. I live at 219 Sun Drive.”

“Thank you. And is this a good phone number to contact you on?”

“Yes, it’s my cell. Are you going to send someone out to pick it up or do I need to come to the station?”

“We will have an officer come by your place to get a formal statement. If we need you to come in, they will let you know.”

“Alright. Thank you. When should I expect someone?”

“Is within the hour alright with you?”

“Ya, that should be fine. I just don’t want to hang on to this any longer than I have to.”

“I don’t blame you. Thank you for reporting this. Someone will be out there soon.”

I hung up the phone and started pacing around the kitchen looking at the bag of cash. I was tapping my foot, fidgeting, running my fingers through my hair. Curiosity won and I sat down. I pulled out a stack at a time, carefully keeping count as I went.

“That can’t be right....”

Mumbling to myself I counted the number of bills in each stack and how many stacks I had.

“Twenty thousand dollars...I’m looking at twenty thous - “

There was a knock at my door which made me jump. I glanced at the clock and saw that it had only been about 20 minutes since I made the call. Shoving the money back in the bag, I rushed to the door feeling oddly guilty that I touched the money again.

I opened the door expecting to find a cop or two and instead saw a tall burly man and a dark haired woman. The man towered over me easily and wore a worn leather jacket and jeans. The woman’s long wavy hair fell over her exposed shoulders in a tank top and canvas joggers. These were no cops.

“Did you get your deposit this morning?” His voice matched his size.

The package? Were they here for the money?

“Yes I did.”

I thought being honest and playing along might buy some time until the police arrived.

“Good. Now that the business is taken care of, Sylvia said you would talk with us. Is that alright?” He nodded towards my house. Who was Sylvia?

Instead of saying anything, I just stepped to the side so they could get through the door. I definitely couldn’t keep them on the porch without raising suspicion. The woman nodded at me on her way in, with the big man following behind her.

Seeing them inside my house made my heart pound and my hands sweat. I shoved my hands in my pants pockets, hoping that would conceal my distress.

“Have you picked a target yet?”

Her voice was cold and blunt. She had an accent that I couldn’t quite figure out where it was from.

“Not yet.” That was the first thing that came to mind. What was I supposed to say?

“You should really get going on it. Sylvia wants results by tonight. You’ve got plenty to choose from, what’s the hold up?”

There was officially no doubt that they had mistaken me for someone else but hadn’t realized it yet. I could hear the frustration in her voice. Assuming Sylvia was the person who employed all of us, she probably wouldn’t be happy once she figured out someone had delivered her money to the wrong person. I wondered how much longer I could keep up the charade.

My phone was sitting on the table in the kitchen next to the duffle bag. There wasn’t an easy option to get to it. I prayed that the cops would get here soon. For now, I had to be an assassin.

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.”

There was another knock at the door, the man and woman exchanged looks and then looked at me.

“Stay here.” Hoping that would keep them out of sight, I left to answer the door.

I was all too happy to get away from Bonnie and Clyde in my living room. I opened the door to yet again be disappointed.

“Phil, what are you doing here?”

“Oh hi Noah! I just wanted to know if I could borrow your tool box again. My fridge is leaking way more than last time.”

My house was beginning to feel overly crowded; entertaining my new colleagues and my neighbor wasn’t something I felt that I could navigate.

“I kind of have some…guests right now. Can I bring the tool box over when they leave?” If they leave...

“It’s leaking pretty bad this time. I don’t mind waiting out here. I’d really appreciate it.”

The guy looked desperate and he did offer to wait outside.

“Alright. Give me just one moment.”

With my neighbor waiting outside as an unsuspecting witness to a potential crime, I went back through my living room where Bonnie and Clyde should have been waiting.

They were gone. My sliding glass back door slightly open.

My heart started pounding and I bolted to the kitchen table where I left the duffle bag. It was still there, the notebook and all the money.

Where had they gone? What was I supposed to do now? Where was that police officer?!

I ran my fingers through my hair, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I should have just taken the money to the police station myself. I shouldn’t have waited.

CH-CHICK

The sound of a bullet entering the chamber of a gun echoed in my ears. I slowly turned around with my arms out to the side. Completely shocked at who I saw behind me.

“I think you got a package of mine Noah. I’m sorry about the mixup.”

“Phil…?”