Down by the River

Meadowbank Ferry Wharf, May 26, 2019, Sunday

3: 36 am

A strong gusts of wintry wind blew as she held tightly to her thick dark coat. She blinked momentarily and gathered her hair together. She’s been out early since three in the morning, a strange time to be awake at this sleepy suburb in Sydney. The silence was eerily deafening. She could her heart thumping violently as she screamed in her mind. Hugging her knees, she rested her chin on them and looked blankly on the floor. The wharf wobbled as the waves crashed underneath.

“Goodbye Leila, I hope you well.”

Two senseless sentences and he was gone. No explanation. No warning. No second thoughts. His words kept ringing in her ears. The unexpected farewell brought back a baggage of memories that she took half of her lifetime to forget. Too many people have left, without premonition. Death, betrayal, silence. But unlike most goodbyes, tears were not shed now. She just gazed at him, nodded and turned her back. The heavy door shut slowly.

It’s been three hours since he left, yet she couldn't get herself to feel anything. Nothing! She let go of her knees and crossed her legs in front of her. She planted her arms on the floor behind her and turned her attention to the ceiling. The lights were flickering furiously. She heard the zapping noise somewhere close. She turned to look towards the direction of the sound.

Someone was moaning and humming.

“Who is with me?” She stood up quickly, and examined the wharf. There was no one. It must be the wind crashing through the metals underneath. She tossed her backpack aside. She heard the moaning and soft humming again.

She sat back to the floor and rested her head on the wall and caught a glimpse of a lady wearing a dark coat, her hands crossed as she rocked back and forth. She was sitting on the sand with her legs set apart. The lady suddenly turned her gaze to her, she knew that she was watching.

“Another lost soul,” she thought silently as she avoided her eyes.

4:13 am

The gust of wind was slapping through her face. She ran faster and faster without any care for anything. The numbness of her heart was exacerbated by the howling frosty wind. A thick forest of tall gum trees lined the path. From where she was running, she can see the wharf. The lights over there has dimmed. "Is it the lights playing up or am I just too exhausted my vision is catching up on me?," she asked herself.

The path was blindingly dark; she couldn’t even see her rushing feet. One sudden sharp turn and she was climbing the rocky staircase hidden through the thick bushes. Her feet knew where to go. The trees still smelled burnt from last week’s bushfire. A young arsonist was trying to make a name for himself. "Foolish fella was an amateur," she chuckled.

She heard footsteps and murmurings coming from the barbecue area few metres from where she was running. She stopped to bend forward, her hands on her hips. Her heavy breathing can be heard. She let out a heavy breath. Then there was dead silence. Whoever was here doesn’t want to be found.

She continued running, this time she mustered all her strength to run wild as she trudged the uphill path.Now she could see the dark silvery stretch of Parramatta river. Further down the shore, along the river, she saw a man’s shadow. He was sitting on the solitary bench. She felt a sudden and deep inclination to run towards him. It was peculiarly familiar, that shadow— those sturdy, muddy industrial boots, the hi-vis vest he hanged on the bench, his naked upper body. There’s only one man who wouldn’t cover up at this windy five degrees. “Stupid narcissist!,” she sneered. She headed through the slope- her heartbeat racing against her feet.

Hurry up!

Thoughts were running in her head. She hummed furiously in between racing heartbeats.

“Down by the river.. along the murky water….” Her breathing was heavier.

“The swamps hidden by the rocks,” she halted abruptly. Then she remembered something.

“The bushes conceal… love can never be…. Alone, you are for me,”

“No one can take us apart,”

“Down by the river, death lurks.”

4: 17 am

When she was young, she loved the green meadows. She blew countless dandelions, and picked up dried grass and flowers on her basket. The unforgiving heat of the afternoon sun didn’t bother her at all. Later in those afternoon she would go home grubby, her flushed skin burnt red, and her whole body itching from dust.

Leila shook her head. “I don’t want none of this right now,” she whispered. Any recollection of those innocent days are always marred by torturous memories.

She stood up, and sprung wildly into the air while shaking her hands as though relieving herself of any discomfort. She felt the sudden twitch on her back, she scrambled on her toes and cowered in pain. Her hands were tight, and the fresh scratch marks on her arms and neck are burning.

“Freshwater is taking ages to come,” she murmured. Sitting on the floor for the longest time made her uncomfortable. She can’t wait to take a glimpse of her beloved ferry. Freshwater has always sailed idyllically-with grace and an air of romance so uniquely hers alone.

She still remembered the first time she went on board Freshwater with James. He held her hands tightly as the waves forced a wobble on the ferry's entrance. Coming from an outback area where there is no water, her excitement was dimmed by her nerves. It was only when they finally reached the top deck when James wrapped his arms around her that she felt still—almost heavenly calm. The scenic views and the love of her life with him. All was breathtaking. James sniffed the back of her ears, and kissed her gently on the cheeks. She turned her gaze lovingly towards him. Slowly their eyes met and they shared a quick passionate kiss .

“Jane! Jane! Are you here?” She could hear a distant call somewhere.

It seemed that there are other people like her out here who are similarly wrapped in their own muddy bubble. The only difference is that they could feel. She could hear a tinge of panic on that man’s voice. The further the voice gets, the more she sensed his agony. She closed her eyes, the pleasant breeze coming from the river kissed her cheeks.

4:19 am

The darkness has not diminished; only her tired cream-white sneakers can be seen on the path. It was hard to control her speed down that slope. She flew in seconds, her mind juggling from one question to another until finally she crossed the path that leads to the sandy shore of the Parramatta river. He was gone. His belongings were still there— the luggage bag with all his clothes, the hi-vis vest on the bench, a massive water bottle she gifted her last month. “He must be here somewhere.”

She was never wrong in her hunches. Even this very moment was unsurprisingly simple. “How disgustingly predictable. Fool!,” she scorned. Her voice was filled with disdain. She run back up to the path. The towering trees around her beguiled her thoughts. A soft mellow voice was carried along by the wind.

“Down by the river, along the murky water..

The swamps hidden by the rocks

The bushes conceal, love can never be,

Alone you are for me…

Down by the river, death lurks.”

4: 22 am

Freshwater was still docked at Balmain Shipyard, an hour-drive from Meadowbank. Her eyes started to weigh heavily. She closed her eyes gently. And her head started dropping every now and then. Searching around her, she grabbed her backpack towards her lap, and bent her body forward to lay her head. She fell asleep.

“Please don’t do this,” her voice was muffled by the piece of cloth stuck on her mouth. She was shivering in cold and in fear- half of her body submerged in the dark murky water. Her feet and hands behind her were tied with marine cables. The mangroves were proliferate in this part of the river. There's a giant system of propped roots and twisted branches of mangroves. The lush bushes fenced the shore and the tall native trees lined the path. Massive rocks decorated the path. It felt quite out in the open yet strategically hidden. Cables wrapped around the wrist, the protective gear was drenched in muddy water, the time has arrived.

“Down by the river, along the murky water..

The swamps hidden by the rocks

The bushes conceal, love can never be,

Alone you are for me…”

Darkness didn’t conceal the terror in her eyes.

A sober and consious death, that was the plan. The suffering has to be severe. Ten seconds… nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. She dropped on the assailant's shoulder.

Ten seconds to be unconscious then it takes three times more pressure to kill her. The clasped tightened, cable wires screeched against each other. There was no more heartbeat, a massive plonk cuts through the water.

She woke up from such a vivid dream. Then she heard the sound of distant voices. She could hear a man’s voice filled with fury. “I don’t want to do anything with you any more! Leave me alone!,” he was heard saying.

There was no response but a pitiful sobbing.

“Is it painful? Tell me how it feels.” she quietly mumbled to herself as she tried to listen intently.

She brought her hands to her face and wiped her eyes with them. Before she managed a sigh of resignation. A distant moan echoed, the water splashed against the foundations of the wharf, drizzles from the grey sky started covering her vision. The darkness has even gotten more bleak. The lady was back on the shore where she was sitting before. She saw her putting on her hoodie on as the drizzles started to get heavier.

5:46 am

Six years and everything was thrown in the air like it was nothing. She held on to him, grabbed his hands tightly but he let go. She hugged him from behind, her hands interlocked in front of his bare chest. “Don’t leave me alone,” she begged once more. The sky grieved for her. The drizzles and her tears racing down her face.

There was not the littlest sign of pity on the face of the man he loved. Not even a tinge of hope. He grabbed her hands and freed himself from her clasp. A lighting from a far distance illumined the sky. She saw his face. He was about to rage.

“Please… No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

An earth shattering scream was heard throughout the wharf.

“Tell me how it feels,” Leila stared at the sky. Another lightning pierced through the sky. She has moved to the bench, her hair pulled back in a bun.

Taking her phone out she watched her reflection. The last message she read appeared on her phone,

James, my love, meet me there at 3 am. I’m bringing my stuff along.

I love you babe.— Jane

“Down by the river, along the murky water..

The swamps hidden by the rocks

The bushes conceal, love can never be,

Alone you are for me…”

The humming was heard from the shore. The hooded lady wasn’t moving. Her head stooped down on the sand, her feet crossed in front of her and her body bent slightly forward because of the cold.

6 am

MV Freshwater was cruising closer in all its elegance. The men came out and anchored the ferry. “Circular Quay,” the man shouted. She nodded gently. “ Morning, how are ya,” he greeted. “Not too bad, and you?” She replied.

“I've no complaints,” he grinned. She went to the deck facing the shore. She looked back and saw the lady looking towards her. Their eyes met a long gaze. The lady mouthed something to her.

“Down by the river, along the murky water..

The swamps hidden by the rocks

The bushes conceal, love can never be,

Alone you are for me…”

Few minutes later as Freshwater sailed through, the police sirens blasted in the quiet street. They parked across the towering units, next to the wharf.

The ambulance came seconds later. The medics pulled out a stretcher and scurried through the path.

A woman was found floating on the murky water along the mangroves. Her hands and feet tied and her mouth blocked by a cloth. The police officers identified her as Jane Morrison. Judging by the body, she died about three or four hours ago by strangulation. A man was taken to custody for questioning. He was seen by an early jogger taking the woman’s body out of the water.He was wailing in pain, calling the name Jane. He was visibly distressed, and confused.

Leila closed her eyes as she stood at the edge of the deck. She was a lone passenger of MV Freshwater.

She felt his arms wrapped around her waist. He was gently blowing behind her ears before he ran his lips down her neck. She held her head and and kissed him back softly.

“Alone, you are for me,” she whispered.

A cruise ship was sailing nearby and the ripples of waves adorned the surface of the water. The water smashed through the wooden deck. The lights on the ferry turned off momentarily as the low humming sent spine-tingling chills on the crew who were preparing to anchor to the next wharf.

The crew checked the fuse box, next to the deck. Confused, he searched throughout the ferry for the lady who boarded the ferry earlier. The lone passenger was gone.