Confessions of a Mad Man

“The chemical formula of Love (C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2) Dopamine, Seratonin, Oxytocin can easily be manufactured in a lab. However, overdosing on any of the above ingredients could cause schizophrenia, extreme paranoia and insanity”

“Can you, please, state your name, age and date of birth?”

“My name’s Aden Pierre Katon. I’m 34 years old and my date of birth is 31st of June 1982.”

“Tell us, Aden what happened?”

“It all happened last Tuesday…. But there’s a backstory as always.”

“How did you meet Jake?”

“Don’t rush. I will tell you everything. Just listen. He sent me a message on Grindr about a week ago or two. I was instantly attracted to him and I believe he was as much to me aswell….or at least he seemed to be. We chatted for a few hours on there even though I was at work, exchanged pictures and told each other what we were looking for and what we were into. He said he was ideally looking for a husband but did not keep his hopes up as people tend to fuck-n-go. I have to say I was very impressed and glad to hear that. From what I could see (from his pictures) he was exactly what I like and from the few hours we had exchanged messages, he seemed very creative, easy going and down to earth – and I’m a sucker for blue eyes!

Anyway, at some point the conversation ended abruptly and he did not respond to my last message asking him for his number. I was annoyed but not incredibly surprised and I had a lot of work to do so I didn’t pay much attention to it. This kind of things happens all the time on Grindr you see. People chat with you while they are horny and they will say anything to get into your pants but at the same time, they have another four or five chats going on and as soon as one of them confirms they want to meet up and fuck, people just disappear regardless of the amount of time or effort they put into your conversation. It’s like a supermarket – you walk around checking the quality but end up buying the cheap stuff because you don’t think it’s worth wasting £1 more for the good stuff.

I went home from a long day at work that day and I kept checking my Grindr every few minutes, hoping he would get back to me; or to be fair hoping that anyone would get back to me. He didn’t, but someone else did! I found a guy who wanted to meet up, invited him over and cooled my pants down, though I didn’t really enjoy it. I suppose I just wanted to distract myself from the gorgeous guy that got away. I’m a romantic so I was hoping and wishing that he would not be like all the others and after the last few months, I could really do with a good companion who actually wanted to settle down.

Anyhow, to cut the long story short, he did not message me back that day…or the day after even though I could see he had been online a few times. I bet he found someone hotter or with better abs than mine. Or maybe, he just got off just by chatting to potential husbands. People have weird fetishes; trust me I know!

On the third day, I decided to be brave and send him a message myself, trying not to be very pushy.

I said “Hi, how are you doing?”

He replied seconds later saying that he was good but very busy at work and then, without me asking, he sent me his number. I didn’t waste time and I sent him a text on Watsapp.

I was excited!

That day I went home from work and we were still chatting. He told me he liked cooking and he was working on a project outside work and that’s why he forgot to reply to my message – he had a lot of things in his mind and did not have time to waste with random shags. I reassured him that I did not want a random shag and that I would rather get to know him better.

In the evening he asked if he could call me on Facetime. My guess is that he wanted to see my face in real time, to make sure he is still interested and that I’m not an old pervert chasing a hot younger guy. I didn’t hesitate and called him first. I could see his face lit up and I was pleasantly surprised as I did not expect him to like me. I know I’m not an ugly guy but I am not photogenic at all and I hate the way I look on photos, but I suppose most people do. It didn’t matter though, he liked me and I definitely liked him.

We spoke while I was cooking and he was watering his plants, then we hang up to have dinner and resumed after that until it was time to go to sleep. He wouldn’t let me go to sleep, he kept talking and I did not mind the least. I was exhausted and I had a twelve hour shift the next day but I didn’t care and before we knew it, it was 1am and we were still talking and pulling faces on Facetime. I couldn’t stop staring at his eyes that looked like the brightest colours of the blue sea. I fell in love with them instantly and I couldn’t get enough of them. He told me about his hobbies and he asked about my family. Turns out, we both had assholes for fathers. We had a great talk and a lot of fun but we eventually, decided to go to sleep because neither of us could keep their eyes open. That was almost 3am and we both had to get up at 7am.

The next few days were great. We hadn’t met yet but we spent hours on the phone from early morning to late at night every day. It was romance just like the good old days almost. It wasn’t a mechanical “lets-meet-fuck-and- forget-of-each-other” thing. We flirted and talked about things that people don’t talk about anymore. Things like whether we believed in aliens and what a waste of space it would be if we were alone in the universe. Things like what our ideal home and life would be and which era we would prefer to live in. He insisted that the 70s was the best era, I disagreed and said the 90s were the best decade of my life and would never change it. It was refreshing and romantic at the same time.

We eventually decided to meet up. I invited him over for dinner but he insisted that I went over to his instead and we could cook together. I liked the idea so I agreed and we arranged to meet on Tuesday. The Tuesday just gone to be precise. The only problem was that he lived far from me so I had to finish work and go straight to his but I would have to leave early to get home as I was working on Wednesday. At first that was what we agreed. I would arrive at his around 7pm and stay until about 10pm and then make my way home. I would be home by midnight. However, when we actually had time to properly think about it, three hours would not be enough to meet, cook, eat and watch a movie or have a chat. So, he suggested I stayed the night and of course I did not argue and definitely did not decline! I did, however, highlighted to him that there would be no sex happening as I did not want him to disappear the next day. He did not argue that. He winked at me and said that it was up to me and I should only do whatever I felt comfortable doing. I liked that.

Tuesday felt like a long time away and it was Sunday we arrange it. Needless to say that Monday was the longest day of my life. It felt as if it was here and it wouldn’t go away to make room for Tuesday to arrive. What was worse, though, was Tuesday morning. The time would not pass. A friend of mine once told me that when you expect a certain time of the day – end of work day, a weekend or a date – that time takes it’s time to reach you….does that even make sense? I don’t know. I waited and waited…and waited to finish work and make my way to his.

6pm! I finished work and rushed out of the building. I don’t think I ever dashed out of work that way before. I bet my colleagues thought something was wrong with me. None of them called to check on me though…it shows how much they care.

I made my way to his and in my excitement, got lost a couple of times and had to call him to guide me. He was very patient with me and very understanding. Afterall, I was going all the way to the other side of town for him and I had been traveling for an hour or so, right after work. I was tired, hungry and in a desperate need to take a piss but I was over the moon and all this inconvenience did not matter. Not as much as it should anyway.

I finally made it at 7:30pm!

He welcomed me with a hug and a big glass of wine but I asked if I could use the toilet before I started drinking any more liquids. I joked that my bladder would make a mess all over his new carpet if I hadn’t run to the toilet. He guided me as soon as I asked. He had a great small house with a small but neat garden, one very tidy bedroom and a bathroom that was currently under renovation so it had no door. I thought, what a nice first impression I would make to someone I just met, not even had a glass of wine with him yet but he would enjoy seeing me taking a piss. The thought was amusing and embarrassing at the same time but I couldn’t hold it any longer.

We walked into the living room and he took my bag and placed it near the bedroom door, then he showed me to the kitchen. It was small but felt very warm and it was well maintained and clean. He had all the ingredients I told him we would need, laid on the side of the counter and a couple of pans and knives next to them.

“What do you need me to do?” he asked while handing me my big glass of wine.

I looked at him and said he could just relax and I would do the cooking but he insisted so I asked him if he could cut the onions. I have to say, I did enjoy watching him slicing the onions and trying not to shed a tear. He looked just amazing! I let him cut a few things every now and then and stir the minced meat just so he wouldn’t feel like I was taking over HIS kitchen and half hour later the food was ready to go in the oven. We put the food in and made our way into the living room.

We sat on the sofa and he put a movie on – I can’t even remember what it was called. I was too busy staring at him and trying to resist the urge to grab him and start kissing him. I could tell he was thinking exactly what I was thinking, or at least I thought I could. At some point, he stretched and put his hand on my leg. I flinched in surprise and he moved it but that gave me the chance to do the same, minus the stretching. He looked at me and I looked back and before we had the chance to think it over, we were kissing. He was a great kisser, I have to say. It didn’t go any further than kissing though. The oven buzzer interrupted us.

The food was ready!

We sat down at the table; we threw a glance to each other, a tiny-tiny peck on the lips and enjoyed the food. He told me that he found it difficult to trust guys after he caught his ex-boyfriend cheating and I told him the story of the guy I used to date and he was fucking my best friend at the same time. I thought I should tell him that I really liked him and I would never hurt him but then I held my mouth shut, in case it was too soon and scared him off. We finished dinner and I offered to wash up but he stopped me and pulled me into the living room.

He threw me on the couch and sat on my lap facing me for a moment before leaning forward to kiss me. We started making out again and he eventually reached into my pants. I pulled back and stopped him. He looked at me and said “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” I stopped him with a kiss then I lay on the sofa, holding him in my arms.

“I don’t wanna be a random shag that you will forget tomorrow” I whispered.

He turned around facing me once again and he said that he would not forget me and that he would love to see me again. I believed him. I don’t need to tell you that we ended up having sex… or making love to be more accurate. It felt special.

It was midnight when we got into bed. At first, I pushed myself all the way to the wall so I wouldn’t disturb him, but he moved closer to me and hugged me. We call it spooning nowadays. God knows what other stupid names we will give to gentle, romantic gestures. We slept in each other’s arms all night and I was the happiest person on this planet. I finally found someone who liked me the way I am and did not want to just fuck me and go. I don’t think I have slept that good for years. The next morning, we woke up and again, made love, he made me breakfast in bed and then we got into the shower together, fooled around a little bit more and then decided we should behave. We were both late for work. We got dressed, he gave me a kiss and we left the house together. I walked over the road and waved back at him while he was getting in his car to leave

I went to work that day and I was ecstatic!

I sent him a message a couple of hours later but he did not reply. I knew he might be busy at work so I waited until lunch time but I received no response. I went home after work and I waited all evening. I sent another message to check why he did not respond to the first one – he might have seen it but forgotten because he was too busy. I do that all the time, so maybe he does aswell, I thought.

Again no response.

Two days I waited and he didn’t reply to any of my messages so I thought I should go ask him in person. I know it’s a very bold move as I only met him once, but I believed him when he said he wanted to see me again. So I went to his place. The door was ajar so I walked in and I found him on the floor… The rest you know it. I called an ambulance and the police and we are here. My guess is that someone broke into his house and he confronted them. Or even worse, he had another guy over and it went wrong…I don’t know what happened.

That’s all I know”

“Aden, that is not what happened. We spoke to your boss at work who confirmed you have not been at work for these past two days.

We have footage from the camera across the street that shows Jake seeing you off at 8am on Wednesday morning. He went back into the house and his boss said he was supposed to work from home that day. The same camera shows you returning to the house at 8:25am and forcing your way in. Jake tried to keep you out but you pushed the door and forced your way in. Jake also had a camera at the entrance inside his house. That one shows you forcing your way in and throwing him on the floor. He fought you off and ran in his room, where we suppose he had tried to make the call to the police, according to his phone history, but you got to him before he managed to get through to the operator.

We also have the history of your messages from Jake’s phone. There’s a message sent at 8:10am on Wednesday where Jake tells you that he did not want to meet again as he thought it would not work between you two after you had told him that you thought he would cheat on you.

The camera in Jake’s house, shows you at 8:56am on Wednesday dragging him into the corridor covered in blood and the camera from across the street shows you leaving the house at 9:28am and returning two days later, which is when you called the ambulance and the police.

Aden Pierre Katon, you are under arrest for the murder of Jacob Bowers….

“No, no, no…I would never hurt him. I loved him. I found him on the floor…I didn’t…I love him…I lov…oh.. my Go…what have I done?"

ApKWrites