Codename A. Little Black Notebook

The daytime sky filled with darkness, as the  smell of rain soon filled the air. Now with the sound of the rain tapping lightly against the window. I was taken a back to a childhood memory I thought I buried long, long ago.

My heart starts to beat fast, and the swell of a knot in my throat made my eyes water. My lips started to tremble with weakness set into my knees. The feeling of faint ran over me like a heatwave on a hot summers day. I said to myself "If I don't get over what consumed me so deeply, one day I just might be lost forever"...

The rain had a hold on me since the night my life changed forever. Ever since that fearful night, the rain always left me with fear. I have been told that it takes time to get over such a painful ordeal, but for me it's been ten years.

How much longer before the fear ends?… For the past three years, I've received a letter from an anonymous person. It's clear that this person knows who I am, I on the other hand have no clue to who sent them. I haven't told my boyfriend Jack either because I didn't want him to worry no more about me than he already does!

He hates the idea of me being alone in this big old house of mine. As much as I love him I am not ready for him to move in yet. Jack is very sweet respectful and handsome. His blue eyes and carmel skin, glows like a pregnant woman in her first trimester. He's 5 foot ten with a hair full or natural brown curly locks that, us girls would die for. He's just that guy that seems to have it all, the total package!

While standing in the doorway awaiting the mailman's arrival. I couldn't help but think what was going to be delivered today. I knew where pretty much all of my mail was coming from. Every single piece of mail except, two letters that I receive each week. The first letter was the most intense, from someone who called themself “A”. This person knew things about me that, I don’t know or remember about myself...

August 18 2019

My dearest sweet L,

I have pondered over and over about writing this letter to you. I made great many attempts to do so, and each time I went to mail off a letter, I always stopped myself! I became afraid and consumed with so much guilt with each letter that I write, I pray you do read them. I often wonder what you are like now that you have grown into this wonderful, and beautiful woman.

My past mistakes and indiscretions have often lead me down a dark path. One that I just never really understood how to come back from. I honestly believe that I continued on this path because, such a road was neither a beginning or an ending. My dearest sweet L, I have searched and found you many times before today! There is a lot of things I'd like to share with you, but until then, I must ask for your forgiveness. Having found you alone in that dark room so many, years ago chained and covered in dirt. Your wrists raw from the chains, and your feet covered with wounds, old and new! Sitting in that chair barely conscious from all the torture you had to endure. You were the best, don't ever forget it.

Truly, A

" A" was all the always signed at the bottom of each letter. "Who could A be and how did he or she find me?"

A is not even a name it's just a letter and, it's the first letter of the alphabet too, so maybe the letter A stands for the number 1. I'm only speculating, in fact I'm always speculating! Hopefully one-day I will find out what this letter means. After collecting the mail from the mail man. I went upstairs and took a cool shower. Jake ran across my mind, and I couldn’t help wondering what my life was like before Jack and I became an idol. “ why can’t I remember something from my past? What happened to me, and why do I only remember being left alone in the dark?” All I can remember is waking up in a dark room to someone calling me “L”. I don’t recall seeing their face, only hearing their voice. Jack, has always somehow been their for me since I’ve been here. I met him one evening while out on my mid-morning run. He wasn’t excercising at the time we met. He just happended to be sitting on the bench near where I was running. As I ran passed him, he called to me.

“ Hey, beautiful how are you this morning?”

I craked a smile, as if it was a response to his question. He contiuned asking me this question everyday, until I decided he was worth a respose. The day that I finally did respond it felt good and exciting. Although I was a bit scared, I pushed through and kept talking to him everytime I went on a run, until we musterd up enough courage to go on a date.

I sat in my bedroom and just stared out my window into the darkenss ahead of me. So despratley wanting to remember my past. It bugs me not knowing who I am. I couldn’t just sit and pretend that I was ok, because I wasn’t. I stopped caring about this retrograde amneisa. I just need to remember. I want to know who A is to me. I looked over towards the night stand over by my bed, where I kept the box of letters that was sent to me. I didn’t read them again this time. I just glance over them hoping that there would be something here that would jog my memory.

The more and more I looked at them, the more anxious I became. Jack could be coming over soon, and I didn’t want him to see me trying to jump start my memories again. As bad as I wanted to remember, I was going to try my best this time not to force it. I didn’t want to put Jack in a position where he is left picking up the pieces from my outburst and cries from my own past. My eyes began to get heavy, so I sat the box of mystery letters back on the night stand. I picked up the remote control and came across the movie “Extraction”. The trailer for this movie was epic so I had to press play. As I get drawn closer and closer into the movie. My eyes are getting heavy, and I’m trying my best to keep my eyes open.

They closed against my will. I am surrounded by total darkness. Lights began to flash off and on. Kind of like strobe lights on a disco ball, at a rave party. I can hear people crying. Screaming, and moaning… The last thing I remember was walking home from work. No wait! I remember a black van, following me when I left the bank. So I turned down the opposite block away from the direction of my house. As I continued walking, I felt someone getting closer, and closer to me, so I ran. I tried running as fast as I can, next thing I know. I felt this intense throbbing pain coming from the left side of my head. I get up and I am moving. Where am I going… I have no clue to who is driving. I never saw their face. Ugh, have I just been kidnapped… yes I have been kidnapped, but what do they want from me. I have nothing, they need. I just work at Central Bank. I am a regular person. I have no money nothing. All I have is just a keychain that I have been wearing on my ankle since, my dad passed and left it to my 6 years ago.

As I lay there in the dark, waiting and wondering what these people are going to do with me. I began to get this intense dreadful feeling that something more is about to happen. I feel someone pull my leg. So I jump, and start kicking around me in all directions. I am suddenly now being pulled through mud. Wait… why am I in the mud, this now means that I was dragged from the inside of some unknown place.

The crying, and screaming finally stops. I don’t hear anyone around me any longer. A small bit or releaf washes over me, because now I feel like I might be a bit safer now than before. My heart is pounding, but I’m still able to retain my focus and keep track of what I hear in my background. I hear a faint wisper call out to me…

“Hey, you have to try to get away they will kill you if you don’t. As soon as you get to the water, let them drag you through and when the ground gets solid again. Your chain will break… run, and don’t look back. Remember whatever you do keep running, and don’t look back”.

I feel my legs being pulled again… “wait who is there, who are you, and why do they want to kill me? I didn’t do anything. I yell out. I didn’t do anything, Some one HELP ME!”

Gargling and gasping for air. The water is freezing cold now and bright. Daylight… is in now light outside?

I kept thinking, and I suddenly remembered from the shock of the freezing water.

“Run”

I shook my legs as hard as I could loose from the chains. The mud and water didn’t make it easy, but made it a little bit easier to break the chain free. The kidnappers didn’t intend to drag me throught the mud. So they never anticipated for me to break free. As soon as my legs were loose I made my way to my feet, and ran in the opposite direction from which they were driving. I kept running just like I was told. I didn’t turn around, I didn’t look back. Footsteps drew closer and closer. I kept running, and running and my foot slipped out from under me, and wham. It’s dark again, my head is pounding… Im soak and wet. Now I hear more voices. This time different voices. I also hear sounds machines beeping… In and out of consciouness my eyes heavy once again, and I couldn’t keep my eyes from closing.

Jack hears the loud cries from out in the hall and rushes to my aid. The sound of the door slamming up against the wall awakens me from my nightmare or memories I longed to remember. Its hard to see with my eyes full of tears. His face is blurry and distored. Jack, I remember everything now! I was kidnapped and tourtured for something that had to do with what my father left me.

The letters were clues to where to find it, I just didn’t put it all together in time. Jake bends down and pulls a black box from out under the bed and places it in my hands. I quickly take the lid off the box and inside there is a yellow envelope that contains a little black book. Inside the book reads the code: A57A58A5931.

My Dearest L,

Short for Lucinda, A is my code name and stands for Adam. The code in this book unlocks locker 51 which is located at Central Bank. Inside this locker you will find another little black book which holds a locket. Inside that locket there is a check for 2O,OOO My dearest Lucinda, don’t run this time fight back!”

A