Another sad, happy ending.

"What did he do this time" she asked. My only response was mumbled words as I was struggling to breath. All I could think was "how, how could he do this to me again".. I asked "Mommy I love him, why does he do this to me?".. All she did was stroke her fingers through my hair in silence. How could she respond? Her only advice was to leave him and obviously that never worked before hence the reason I'm still in this predicament. I couldn't bare to leave him, he’s the one who stole my heart but apparently that doesn’t stop him from using my love disguised as forgiveness to hit me again, and again.

As I was capable of collecting myself, I wiped my tears away looking into my mothers eyes and told her what happened.

Coming home from a long day of work wasn’t random yet this particular evening the boss suggested an early shift would be acceptable. I was so excited to go home and be lazy. The only thing on my mind was that I was able to sling shot my bra from one room to another.

Slightly speeding home to binge eat what ever's in my kitchen, I began day dreaming of what my nights going to look like. Before I knew it, I was home. Rushing, I threw my purse over my shoulder grabbing the keys out of the ignition and closing the car door. As I then approached my apartment turning the key I heard noises coming from inside that eventually grew faint as I tried listening harder. These weren't just your ordinary noises. They were heart throbbing, lusting exotic sounds that triggered me into a panic. "She's in there" I thought. Preparing myself for what ever is behind the door, with my sweaty palms I slowly but quietly turned the handle while opening what felt like a wall of bricks; and to my surprise the television was on. "Oh thank god" I whispered, feeling at ease.. Turning around to close the door no longer caring about being quiet, to only soon after I hear shuffling coming the bedroom. Rolling my eyes, growing curious for what I'm completely unsure of I grab the handles to my french sliding doors to fling them open as if my dramatic entrance would matter. Yet instead I look over just to notice his eyes are as big as the moon. Next to nothing but darkness. Quickly after, she drops to my side of the bed onto the ground to where I can no longer see her sweaty naked body as she squirms to throw her jeans on as fast as possible. Shocked as I stood there in silence, watching him button his ripped shorts never loosing eye contact with him. I muttered "I hate you” under my breath. Clearly hearing me he turned to look at his half naked broad and asked her if she needed a ride home. I couldn’t help it but I lost all of my dignity calling him every name in the book, swinging my arms drastically in his direction but before I could even reach him i dropped to the ground, sobbing while my heart was yet again ripped in half.

Looking at the floor in embarrassment, "why" I kept screaming at him with my arms weakened by my sides.

I looked up at her and she looked down at me as if I was some kind of homeless person begging for money. With a slight grin on her face she said "yes". While stepping over me, that’s when I noticed a little black book dropping from her jean pocket to the side of me..

"I hate you" I screamed over and over until I had no voice.

Twice, the car doors slam. Feeling defeated I began wiping my tears from the face of mine that once was so precious to him. As I glanced around I noticed my sheets and bedding that had been scattered all around my floor with their disgusting sex sweat. Taking a large deep breath getting myself under control, the only thing I could do was clean it up. Grabbing their dirty sinful bedding, and suddenly his used condom fell through the sheets onto my arm. Turning my head downwards I looked at the disgustingly empty rubber as if it was his and mine. Grabbing it with no emotion or hesitation I walked it to the trash and while I threw it away I tossed my blanket to the ground next to our washer and I noticed that small little black book staring at me. Do I tell him she left it? Do I care at all? Reaching down to grab it, my curiosity grew unimaginably and just had to look and see what was in side. “Oh my God”. I dropped the little black book and ran. Searching eagerly. I panicked and searched the entire house for an acceptable place that no one would look through. The bag of peas in the freezer, it’s the only place no one would think of looking. “Don’t act suspicious I kept telling myself” while trying to conceal what I’ve found.

After closing the freezer door, I turned around, and saw a glance at my saddened face. "No wonder why he cheats on you" I whispered to myself. I walked my ugly ass to the wash room and took off my smeared makeup to reapply it on for him with hopes he would think I'm prettier then her. After painting my mug that had swollen reds eyes I felt strangely a little bit better.

Walking to the kitchen I tried thinking of what I could make him and I for supper; opening the fridge door I came up with meatloaf and potatoes. About forty five minutes into it baking in the oven I hear a car door slam outside. I rushed to the restroom to make sure I wasn't a total mess. I pulled my fingers through my hair and blew my nose. I stood up from throwing the dirty tissue away Looking in the mirror ahead of me, it was him. I notice him standing behind me. Letting out a small sigh while my eyes begin to fill up with tears, turning to face the man I'm so desperately in love with. “What happened?” Before I knew it my ears were ringing while i lifted my body out of the shower. Removing the ripped shower curtain that's still connected to the rod off of my lap I look up at him to realize he's screaming in my face. Coming back to reality I can hear him, he's telling me I embarrassed him. Still in shock, looking down at the dirt around the toilet rims I said "you knew I got off at five".. I then changed my eye direction to him as he turned around walking out of the bathroom asking "when's dinner done" with an angry tone. My only instinct was to get up, grab the little black book and leave. My body weakened but my adrenaline kept me standing. Suddenly his phone rings, he answers and storms to the room. “Shit” I whisper to myself as he’s throwing our things around aggressively looking, he’s searching for the little black book. I had no choice but to run to the freezer and leave.

Grabbing the keys to break free from the inevitable, with out control from the adrenaline, anger and excitement the tears from my eyes flew down my face. Driving in a matter of seconds then suddenly I found myself at my mothers.

While telling my mother what happened i stopped looking down at the ground, slowly as I looked up laughter was escaping my body as I realized.. “I can leave. For ever, and start somewhere new all because he made it happen. Do I thank him”? As mother is looking at me in shock as if I had lost my damn mind, I reach into my pocket and opened the little black book. After counting not twice but three times I stole her twenty thousand dollars.

Two months later after I arrived in a small town, my life was already looking up. It was time to give him a call. From the closest phone booth I dialed his number yet as he said “hello” I hung up. He doesn’t deserve a thank you.