Word of the Day: 景品

I haven't thought about a word of the day yet. Even though today was supposed to be Japanese study, I didn't really bother studying any sort of list of vocab or grammar but I figure I could go through my old list and just refresh myself on things I already learned...

I guess I meant that I hadn't learned anything new. Also I feel like my ability to talk/express myself is diminished right now with all the stress I have. Both in Japanese and English. I sort of made myself talk in Japanese on stream today and someone sort of made fun of me. Maybe I lost my japanese accent? I used to sound pretty good but maybe that is not the case anymore.

I was tired of energy drinks so I switched to coffee and I feel like I am going to die. I don't know, maybe the not taking abilify is actually affecting me negatively and it isn't stress.

Now that it turned 8pm I magically feel better now, almost as if the moonlight healed me of my confusion and consternation.

It looks pretty orange tonight actually, and just half shining. Some idiot from my past tried to get in contact with me and I am like, I am not answering the mofo because our fling was really mostly just that. It is one of the people I want to forget I ever was with sort of situation.

Anyway, I really need to study Japanese with this clear mind, maybe I can do that tonight and get some actual stuff done. I might even redo my Patreon Word of the Day tier and make it strictly a Japanese lesson.

I was going to upgrade my Netflix account so I can watch Vikings but I don't think it I am going to have the time to pick up a tv show.

I was watching Sandman and the Orville but I haven't had the time lately to just sit down and watch a show.

I don't have much money but I have just enough to get by. I guess it is struggling but the luxury of living alone makes me feel like it is living comfortably. I just wish my body were in better shape. I have 3 major purchases I am saving up for: Vacuum cleaner, getting the carpets done professionally and getting a new mattress. They will all come in time but in the meantime I will have to dilgently prepare for school. That is my job going forward for the next couple of years. I don't even know if it will be worth it but I am going to do my best. I think I have come up with better coping strategies than I had in the past and not as many things bother me as they did before.

Despite what whatever anyone thinks of me, I have my own life I need to live. Despite whatever choices I make, I live with the consequence so I need to at least accept that and the freedom that responsibility gives from judging myself.

I guess I needed time to myself like I told Keely. I feel like I am living an old dream and have yet to find my next one. I am wanting to talk in japanese right now but there is no way to input it here.

I really like this site but since I will be starting school and won't be having enough time, I don't think I'll be renewing my membership here.

It just isn't worth it anymore so I need to do what pushes me forward.