Word of the Day:論文

I think it was a mistake to hug Jessica, I mean she told me about putting a gun to her head. The dumb bitch shouldn't even be having a gun, I mean it is the same reason I don't keep a lighter in the house, nor have candles. I am afraid if I do lose it, I'll be tempted to burn the building down.

I mean, I feel for her. Looking at my hand that once held a knife I was going to use to kill myself with, the only thing left is a scar on my ring finger. I am sure she has something like this. I hope she gets better anyway.

I actually finished my homework earlier than I thought, I am so glad! I mean I still have to do the math homework but, I thought I had more Japanese homework for some reason. I guess because I don't have the SAM handout anymore for some reason.. I guess I should sort my paperwork.

Yea, I asked my teacher for the hand out and she gave me a really random page from the handouts so I think I have two options:

• Find the missing paper in my piles of papers
• Follow the instructions on the computer and just make up an equivalent to the points she is trying to express as the objective of the task.

My personality is hella the second option but, I am considering the... moral implications of actually struggling to find the paper. But I think with the ridiculousness of the submission process I explained before, I am just going to write my own thing, I like sitting here finally, now that I am warm.

I think, it is sort of poetic justice that I find a sort of beauty in math that is not expressed in words, I am trying to explain the exact opposite of what I am, completely dismantle everything in order create it again, like some divine and ineffably morbid flame.

It is 2:23pm now, I am just... trying to relax. What Keely said kind of scares me. Also I feel like, she had some sort of opinion that she held back. Maybe it was just cringe. I hope it was just cringe.

But it could just as easily be worry.

Yea, I don't really mind using weed again, it is more embarrassing to admit I've been in jail, I don't really want anyone to know that. I just want to get my expungement as soon as possible.

I mean I don't know why I am punishing myself by speaking of what I truly dread? Ah, I guess it is the fear to feel it. I don't want to think that way.

The clouds are going by kind of quickly. Crepus.

His castle was in Labradorite. I fucking love it bruh, I mean I know Onyx and Obsidian is desired but, Labradorite is just so interesting. I kind of want more stones in the future.

The first thing I thought of doing more of!

I am really excited but I got to get ready for school.

Oh, I guess that is still a thing huh. I got carried away with myself. That's what you do when you get high, you dream again. That land between real and fake. I follow my Todo list, that is what I don't make a mistake on.

I lost my fucking stone, I really don't know where I put it. I hope that I am able to find it when I get home. I mean, guess I need to just check when I get home. I left my packet too but that wasn't really necessary.

I did bother to talk to the teacher about the handout so I need to at least get that.