Word of the day: お酒

It is almost the end of Easter, but I am thinking of going to the store and buying some alcohol to get the edge off the whole thing with my brother and grandma. They are very difficult people to be around for long periods of time. They actually weren't that bad today but still having it be longer than an hour is too long.

I did think about working on my Jail Journal again, but I didn't keep track of where I left off so I have to reread what I wrote already to see where I need to write from.

I was sort of reluctantly forced to talk about my gig, but I think it doesn't matter, they are both so self absorbed, it went in one ear out the other. I am just retreating into the next room until I can go out and get my drinks after they leave.

I am pretty sure they're going to watch that House of David. My mom reckoned that they'll be here until 5pm so, I figure I can make my way to the store at 5:30pm so I know that they're gone for sure.

I guess I should make my prayers now:

God, thank you for the opportunities that entered my life and I am trying to make the most of the time I have. I am feeling like I will have an easier month next month. I need to watch Jimmy again to see what's happening but I probably will be more active in different ways but hopefully it will be worth it for my life.

My mom ended up making me a gin and tonic with a nice Bombay sapphire gin. I am not really into it but I am saving money with it so I appreciate the gesture.

I ended up crying in bed an wrote something about Jahon and he ended up calling me. It was like magic or something, but as soon as he talked I realized that not everything is magic.

He said he missed me and said he was serious about me, wanting to come over. We talked about the past but then he went into word salad and was saying I did wrong too and stuff but over all he said "I want to come home."

I am all over the place now. I told him I would message him today but I only said that because I was worried he was going to kill himself or something because he was crying or something and seemed desperate. Plus I was drinking a little bit, leaving me totally caught off guard. The sudden call.... he texted me again today. I am not sure what I should do, I feel like I am slightly.... in over my head with this.

The lesson tomorrow helping with English is nothing, even without qualifications, I feel I could do a good job even if he wasn't into his helicopter thing.

Jahon however, I don't know how to handle.

I didn't answer his phone calls after he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I don't but I don't know if him knowing that information is good or not. I mean, I don't have one but, I don't want him to think that is an opening for him, or even on the more shallow end, I don't want him to sort of gloat over me not seeing anyone since I was with him.

I slept well last night thanks to a few drinks, so today I am hoping that my student will be a distraction enough to get me through the day.