Word of the Day: 四面楚歌

I am going through paperwork and old calendars I saved. Last year I had a lot of people in my life and it was hectic. Looking back I feel like it was just a waste of time since none of those people really helped me get to a better spot in life. I did enjoy some of their company's but I feel like it was a lie most of the time. They were just paid to humor me without really caring.

People who claim to help but do nothing, is just as bad as people purposely preventing you from doing something positive; false help is no good.

I find myself in a similar situation where an organization wants to form some sort of "wrap-around" team trying to help me out. I am already tired of it.

I am done even thinking about this nonsense. I am actually working on stuff with my customers and that is making me way more motivated and energetic than those bullshit people. I am also tying to make a Facebook page set up so when I set up the adverts, it will be a good "sponsorship" o something. I just got some sort of random boost of energy this morning.

Maybe it is because I got some extra sleep thanks to some acetaminophen PM tablets. I had a pretty bad headache that I think I got from the oil from the fast food my mom got us.

That's another thing, my mom is actively trying to sabotage my weight loss. I hate it, I really hate living with her. I can't completely blame her though, I need to exercise. I just need to channel that hate into the exercising. I'll exercise when she's gone so she'll have no idea how I am losing weight and won't sabotage me. It is sad I can't even tell her that I am losing weight because she'll fucking feed me a hamburger or bake cookies like a bitch.

I am going to take advantage of this energy I got and exercise. Whenever I hate her, whenever I have free time, I need to exercise.

I am glad that the blahness of last week is sort of gone. I am also secretly saving some money on the side to move out. I feel things are sorting out so I am pretty glad.

To be honest, I have no idea if that team thing will be helpful or not, but based off of last years "team" I doubt they'll be useful. I mean they even have to train someone, it is the reason why they're postponing starting this month. I guess I have to assume it is for the best. I am just tired of all these people, to be honest. I need actual help, not people who love lip service and waddle around like useless ducks blocking a road.

I have all these things on my plate: the kickstarter, job hunting, stupid team set up, avoiding my mom, weight loss... It is hard to know how to go about some of it, but I have to stay true to my to-do list. To-do lists have always been my saving grace and help me keep my sanity when things get hectic.

I forgot my niece will most likely come today if she keeps her promise to my mom. I am just going to work on my stuff and stay out of their business. I feel bad but even my nieces are sort of like, pointless to talk to. I am sort of done with most of my family so, I need to focus on my future.