Word of the Day: 糞

A squirrel is visiting my patio lately, I am really happy about that.

I finally drank some water, it was so satifying. I am always really thirsty for water after a shower. It is like my body wants to be consumed by the water.

I am listening to Gackt again today. I don't know why but it feels a bit immature but I love it so much. I am not quite transported to the past as I am leaving for an appointment soon.

I don't know how to feel... I am remembering Youtube at a younger age and what it was back then. It is crazy how I found Gackt. But I wasn't alone.

I am listening to Lu:na, not one of my favorite songs but it still takes me back to the room.

I need to keep my energy pure. Searchlight Tarot said so. I agree but, is it as simple as listening to old Gackt songs?

I am smiling wide at the music but feel sort of guilty for doing so.

Wow, I actually got decently ready. I am happy with this. I didn't put on make up but I did all the facial treatments.

I wish I could find my lipgloss.

The appointment went well, I am back home but mom didn't want to help me with cleaning, she said she'd come back later which I guess is fair, I don't mind but I really need help. Wednesday will be just a minimum.

She did buy me antihistamine medicine. The tuna sandwich I am eating feels dull. I've eaten enough, I don't really feel hungry but I felt like I should just get it out of the way right now.

The water she gave me really hit the spot. I am trying hard to enjoy my meal but I think the stress of putting away grocceries alone is sucking all the joy out of it. I think I am going to make sure the frozen and cold stuff goes in and just lay down for a bit. I am already changed back into my pajamas.

Maybe I was reading too much into it before, maybe mom wants to do the same thing and that is why she went back.

can't wait until the medication works. I kinda want to eat a gummy but, since I don't know when mom is coming back, I feel I should just be normal. Another part of me is like, " One gummy before she comes? "

I'm just tired. I rested for a bit. I think the medicine is working.

I don't know if I should just wait for my mom to come clean or if I should try to do what I can by myself. I think my mentality is suffering because of the itchiness so I should focus on curing that. My mom did her part buying those antihistamines. I am safe and protected, I can enjoy my apartment, I don't need to do anything for anyone.

I woke up from a nap I took after I had a shower. The heat of the shower helped melt some of the itchiness off my body.

It is 6:30pm so I really slept a lot, I ate a gummy because I don't think my mom is coming over or if she did she didn't ring the door bell or I didn't wake up.

I finished my tuna sandwich I put in the fridge and had a microwaveable pad thai. I feel very stuffed. I didn't eat very much today but I feel full. I am not going to force myself to eat anymore though.