Word of the Day: しぶしぶ

It is my second day back at school and I am overwhelmed I am deciding to just bring my todo list from home so I don't slack off. I sort of wasted time last night binging Tinder and watching guys jack off. absolutely no one is good enough for even a one night stand so it was highly disappointing. On top of that I was crying about Jahon the whole time and really drained my energy. I guess I got so high I started regressing or something and I am just done.

I am going to uwajimaya today for food but other than that I want to get straight home and just relax for a little bit. I didn't even read the modules last night. I didn't even cook the Japchae or do laundry. I am so slacking but I feel like if I just got one good session of sex I probably would perk up indefinitely.

I think the schedule will work out all in all but I am just playing catch up and it is running me ragged.

I have to adhere to the ToDo list for this. I am almost on the same day so that is good, as long as I get caught up before the 29th then I should be good for that.

It is actually helping quite a bit but I am hoping it continues to be a useful tool going forward.

I don't have much to write in actuality, I have just been trying to play catch up so I'm hoping that will work soon.

The internet is cut off so I am writing offline right now. I just want to get it done for my mental health because I need to update something online to maintain sanity.

I also didn't get to charge me phont charger before leaving so I am not working with a lot of battery for today.

I think we are really just going to uwajimaya then back home since I am not really feeling up to do anything.

My bed is coming tomorrow so that is nice. I am hoping it works out well but I think I don't have any perspective sex partners anymore. I really with Rafael was close by me. He is too sexy and attentive but I know it would just be sex. Though that isn't even a bad thing because I feel we'd be very sexually compatible. Problem is, he is all the way in Bali. Unlike Cheng he is very much not a catchfish so that is good but I am so disappointed by the distance. To have such a handsome guy be interested in fucking me would be awesome but I guess it isn't meant to be. I am still on the prowl but the pickings are super slim.

I really want to have sex before my MRI just in case but the closer I get to the date the more I worry that won't be the case.

I am also annoyed with all the guys saying " Well that's easy for you. " Not it's not. Schedules conflict, long distance, kink differences and all other sort of things has made the whole endeavor that much more difficult.

Part of me just wants to give up and worry about it at a later time but I really want to get high and laid.

I guess getting the bed will make stuff more easier but we'll have to see.

I really am not confident that my plans will go according to my desire, hell, even if they do I might be so time crunched that I might not get to enjoy it.