Word of the Day:病院

I am just figuring out that it doesn't matter what I do at this point, as long as I look productive it seems right, right? Maybe I am going crazy. I am just typing my thoughts as i am thinking them right now. I guess to everyone it looks like I am doing homework and I guess that is good enough for now.

I am sort of looking forward to math class right now, I need some instruction to set myself straight as I sure as hell am not studying outside of class. Perhaps I need to arrange another tutor meeting while I can. I have to consider that they might get booked up more the longer I wait for myself to be sure about it.

I guess I can also do it in class, this time can be just for me to mentally recover. When I think of my mental health, I think of Yukki. I wish I was more fluent in Japanese so I could answer more appropriately or at least listen better but, it makes me want to study Japanese more, which makes it frustrating when math is due today.

I feel either way my work will start once I get my timer out. It is even making me wonder now if I should be using it since I am in fact on my computer as we speak.

Oh yea, I don't even know if I brought my todo list. I will make a list of things I need in class. Since I don't have a drink, I will have more time to write stuff down by hand. I know this probably all seems crazy to whoever is reading this but, to type like this really does help clear my head. I at least know where my stability is as when I do. If I am not coherent then I might need to adjust myself. If I am flowing regularly then my mind should be fine as well.

I guess I also have to worry about battery but, I feel like a computer shouldn't die in 2 hours. I am still at full battery or at least 90% as we speak so, I should be able to get by on like 20% when we leave? I think. I don't know for sure.

The study nook that I normally go to is full with people right now, and I don't want to go to another floor just to study for 30 minutes. I feel this time I am typing is actually as good as it is going to get right now.

It's the place I talked to Alex at first. I wonder where he is right now? Hopefully he comes so he can get his points and what not.

I am wondering what James meant with everything he said too. I don't want to over read anything. Just as I was typing that he wrote in the discord. I guess they are looking for good times to meet up for a Japanese club meeting. Interesting. I sort of want to go but I wonder if I have any stupid appointments set up on the days they are discussing. I hate that I hav eto go to an appointment tomorrow even.

I know that mental health has just been a weight on my back that I have to maintain to get anywhere right now, but I still dislike the whole process even though I recognize that it is an evil necessity.

I might also have to get a pregnancy test too, which scares me a little bit. I have had times when I was high where I felt like I could possibly be pregnant but I figure it is my mind playing tricks on me.