Word of the Day: 以心伝心

I am feeling a bit manic right now or I feel like I get a little crazy thinking about Sebastian. I find myself sounding a bit desperate in my opinion. I brought up Carl Jung and the Friends of Carl Jung up in Portland, basically spewing out 101 Psychology bullshit. ( He's a councilor so I am sure he studied that ). I need to just back off though and I know that this obsessiveness is a mixture of me being stressed and wanting a distraction, with a combination of my infatuation with him.

I don't think it has reached dangerous levels so if I get to work on the stuff I need to work on it will probably create a healthier momentum for myself.

I started working on organizing my computers, but I am still trying to find my old mouse. I really hope I didn't throw it away.

I keep breathing heavily and my nipples are super sensitive right now.

I am on the couch though so it is a bit more comfy. I am trying to get to the work computer, but haven't quite perfected the timer system. I am debating whether or not I need to buy another set. I also debated on changing some of the positioning of the timers or computers.

I need to do my budget planner but a lot of my payments haven't gone through on my bank account so I am just thinking I need to wait until later but also I need to buy a few things on amazon right now so it is making me wonder, " Should I wait or go ahead and buy it? "

It's not even about money amount but just the flow of money from my credit to checking. Hell, it is almost the 24th again, I'll be paid soon so it isn't an issue but, I do need to figure that out.

I need to go back to my Work Computer to finish doing some stuff but something is compelling me to stay here and finish writing this. Ah yes, it was my headphones being disconnected.

Fantasies are colliding with each other and my mind is fractured. I am entering auto writing as I trigger that in myself so I will allow it to take over. I am writing what I see in what is there and what will be.

I need to enter the Habatica in School Computer.

I want to change the format but I need to keep writing.

My lips are dry, I need lipgloss. Where does my Todo list belong? In my Work computer or my Personal Computer?

I guess my Personal Computer is the main computer.

I still haven't decided where the Todo list goes. Part of me thinks it should stay on the couch but I am not sure. rolling dice said she should stay on the Work Computer.

I feel that bonus was such a tease, it is probably subconsciously why I am writing so much. It also might be because I am disappointed in Sebastian not wanting to talk to me. Like a sort of anxious attachment.

I am breathing really heavily right now typing all of this.

Good thing I am on the couch.

School computer is down. I don't know what to do. I feel I will go to bed soon.

I need rest.

I went to bed since I felt too overwhelmed by the work and caffeine.

It feels a bit more manageable today since it is a Japanese day and I know what to do for that. I woke up pretty well, at a nice early time.