Word of the Day: 徹底的

I am just typing right now. I am going to keep typing so I don't listen to my mom tell me exactly whatever she is saying because it is pointless. She opened my mail which disturbs me. I am going to write down on my human tasks to go to the post office and change my mailing address.

As I thought, my mom is now asking me for money now she knows I have money. I'll wait until I feel good and ready to do that because she is just too out of the loop and I am having to work on some stuff myself. I don't appreciate she read my mail but I am almost out of this house so I have to just grin and bear it until I get out.

I do appreciate if she did pay my deposit but I really can't trust what she says or, I mean I am tired of being obliging. I feel like these fucking vultures around me already know this shit. I just have to keep mum about anything, don't say too much and be happy with my freedom once I get it. I am almost over the hill so, it will be smooth sailing from here hopefully.

One of the gummy bags is missing. I don't want to automatically blame my mom, I might've just misplaced it but, fuck... Imma ask my new friend if he'd be interested in going down to the pot shop with me. I was planning on staying inside today but I feel like, I need the gummy.

My grandma is kind of retarded, I am hoping she becomes catatonic and just lays on her bed. She needs to die this year.

Be Honest

Yes, that is pretty honest. I am just waiting for her to die so we can get money for the house. I mean, if anyone in this family cared about her life they'd put her in a home.

Ah, I guess I forgot I have to stonewall here too. I mean, I have been doing it for the most part but I struggle with that because I am a rather expressive person so, the idea of not being able to trust the people around me is annoying. I mean, I don't think she knows enough to be able to report anything accurately so, that really the only sort of benefit here.

I am actually enjoying my new challenge, it is coming out more fair because I can be honest with whether I feel a connection to something or not. It is actually very lucrative.

Ah, Jahon's timer went off. I probably should try leaving now. I think at least packing my backpack completely is needed before leaving.

I am a bit annoyed right now because I feel like I don't have enough figured out before leaving but I think it is ok. I need to not be overwhelmed by my human tasks.

AH I have so many drafts of just complete dribble. I am not sure what I want people to know about me. But I do know that it is my choice either way and what I feel is information that should be known. Even in my automatic writing, I know that even when I feel run through, I can decide how long it lasts.

That's the only comfort I really have at this point. I offered Jacob something I wonder if he bit the bullet? I feel myself forgetting so, maybe it is the case.

I am reading other Vocal articles and stories. I feel really luxurious going through all of them and finding ones that I like. I really like the ones that capture those quiet moments or just sort of set it up like an artsy indie film.