Word of the Day: 輝く

I am thinking I should just tell the evaluators today that I had sex with someone with covid so I might have it so we can cancel the appointment.

I wouldn't be lying. Hell, maybe that is what's going on with me.

I can't afford to go to the pleasure realm but perhaps I could simply lay on my bed. I decided rather to just nuke some food in the microwave and see if that helps.

I ate some baos and wile they were tasty, it didn't wake me up as much as the swig of water I took. It was actually the most delicious.

I am kind of worried about the evaluation appointment. If they do a blood test I'll test positive for cannabis but I am also not going to have abilify in my system either. I don't care what the facility thinks but I just hope that it doesn't trickle down to my mom's ears.

I've been good this whole time, it is just today I am sort of out of it. I don't think this is a manic episode but it is similarly disorientating.

I am not going to over think it because, it is just going to be an hour and possibly shopping, then right back home.

I just noticed, it is almost 1pm. My mom hasn't been answering so I don't know what's going on. Hopefully it is just one of those days that she is running a little late and doesn't have time to pick up the phone.

I wouldn't be devastated if I didn't make it to my appointment but I am a bit worried about her.

Since she opened up about going on some anti-depressants right now I have been more lenient with stuff but, I also have a tinge of resentment because, it is like, you're describing me every day and you're complaining about it. Knowing fully well I have no one I can open up to about these things. I just felt it was selfish of my mom but I know she's not feeling well.

2 minutes to 1pm and... I think I am officially late, it take about 5-10 minutes to get to the building so, even if we left right now it would take a while. Since I am tired already or fatigued in some way, I don't really have the strength to call the office, but I will call my mom one more time to see if she realizes the time.

I did eventually call the office of where the appointment was since I didn't want to be rude while I was fully aware that I am missing it.

Not going to the appointment sort of returned all my energy back to me, now I am dancing around the room and putting away things... But I still don't know about my mom. Perhaps she is busy with my brother and didn't have time to reach her phone but, shame on her for forgetting we had an appointment.

Now I have 2 options going forward:

1. I am all dressed so I could easily take myself to the grocery store and stop by the pot shot to reload on that.
2. Get back into my pajamas and door dash a tasty something, risking the possibility of it not being delivered again, and work on my powerpoint slide.

I am happy with either choice but I feel like I should figure out why my mom didn't answer.

I want to lay down but I don't think this is a time to lay down. I think I will go for the walk to the store option, though this is really not the best clothes to wear.