Word of the Day: コーヒー

I think I just want coffee today. I don't really want to eat anything or at least cook. If I get hungry I will doordash one meal.

I can't have coffee though because there is leftover tea in the pot and I don't want it going to waste.

I don't mind being awake right now or sitting where I am but thinking about getting ready for the day makes me want to lay back down in bed.

I laid down again for a blissful few hours, surprisingly I was not itchy in bed for some reason so that is what really had me stay as long as I did.

I have a bit of a headache now which sort of sucks. I also don't have gummies right now but I don't think that would help my headache anyway.

I am sort of annoyed at this appointment but the sooner it is over with the better.

I feel like I should do something but I don't think I have the time or the money to do it so, this story has to be enough for now. I think I will complete the story and write alll the thoughts that are boggling my brain at the moment, causing me to bumble around the house randomly brushing my hair.

It is almost as if I can't collect my thoughts. I did the things I wanted to do.

I had sex before school, got my apartment cleaned up before school, I am slowly getting the things sorted out for school.

It is already 11:30 so I probably need to get ready as that only gives me 2 hours.

I don't really need a shower but maybe that will straighten me out.

I don't really identify as my self at the moment. I feel like just a creature existing. I thought of a lot of things. Like the very unlikely possibility of being pregnant. I am so poor, I can't even afford an abortion I think. Who the father would be and how that affects me.

I am not late for my period or anything so it is probably fine, we used protection but you know they say that no birth control is 100%

I am also imagining me during holidays living alone. Will I be happy? Will I be sad? Will there surprisingly be people around?

I feel sick without being sick if that makes sense. My energy is zapped and my soul is adamantly not wanting to go to this appointment.

I will lay down on my bed for 10 minutes to dry and then I got to hustle after that.

I managed to get some clothes on. It is 12:30 and I still need to brush my teeth, put socks on, and put deodorant.

I want to watch tv for some reason. I don't even think I want weed right now with how I am feeling. Like if I had it, I don't think it would help.

I feel ugly right now or just awkward. Nothing I can do about that at the moment though. Brushing my teeth actually sort of woke me up. I guess it is the mint in my mouth. All that is left is getting the socks and shoes on.

I still feel tired though. I guess it is me starting my period soon. I usually start around the 5th of the month.

I tried calling my mom just to check in but it went to voice message.

I don't know what to do because I was going to ask her if we could go get something to eat but I don't think we're going to have time if she comes right on time.