Word of the Day: まったく

I am eating a bowl of melted cheese with crackers because I have no tortillas. The thought of not having tortillas makes me feel poor more than not having other things in my fridge.

The crackers aren't bad but they are too salty. I want the sweetness of corn tortillas. The cheese is already salty by itself.

I'm awake now, it is 6pm and I am totally awake. I look at he blue sky and think to myself, " I didn't even go outside today. "

It's not a bad thing but, I sort of lost out on an opportunity.

I am thinking of Yuuichiro... He's not in my body anymore, not in my heart. But I remember his eyes, his laugh. It feels like a young memory. I think we were crazy though, I mean we allowed each other to be, very strange and crazy. Was it the weed or was it him?

Either way, he was too close to his ex wife....

I can't wait to see the moon. I know where it will be in the sky. I feel the darkness creeping across the sky as the light touches the tips of the trees.

I think I'll listen to Gackt's Tsuki no Uta.

Youtube is playing all of Gackt's songs now. I feel like it is the soundtrack to my life.

I finished my cheese bowl.

I cried a bit so I want to lay down but I am determined to do something with the power point.

I just realized, I didn't need the other lights on. I am in the dark and the only light is the screen. In some way that makes me more focused on this screen.

It sort of scared me so I turned the lights back on. I closed the windows too since I felt I just wanted to be alone, I didn't need to see the moon.

I finally compiled all of the themes from all of the stories on my Vocal so, now I just have to input it into anki.

I am grateful to god for this day. It wasn't my best day but it also wasn't the worst. I got food in my stomach, peace of mind. I just need to hustle a bit tonight.

Rafael is so handsome. I consider him very much a penpal but he's very passionate and fresh. He's like an Adonis so I don't take his interest in me so seriously but he seems to blush when I compliment him.

What a young and beautiful heart. I wish I was younger so I could believe that was a possibility. Being older makes me realize the reality of it too soon.

Oh, I have to realize that I'm alone. This journal is my companion. I think, since I am alone, I am not thinking correctly for school. I am trying to get back into my body and surrounding area but my mind is very much in the ether. I don't even know why, I haven't had anything revealed to me as of late, I can't really afford a spiritual journey right now any way.

The kitchen feels warm, I want to stay in it and cook but, I turned my school timer on so, I need to work on that. I am slowly but surely getting the vocab into the anki deck.

I need to change my music because I use songs as my cooking timer.

well I am on a friend frequency. Saltwater heals tarot is making me feel like I am with some girls chatting. It is sort of helping me come back down to earth.