Word of the Day: 点灯夫

Today I had sort of late start, but it pretty much went down like it normally does. When I was at the gym I got a call from a Californian number, it sort of scared me. I wondered if it was my dad or, a cousin of some sort maybe calling me.. I didn't know how I would react if it were my dad so I didn't want to answer it in the middle of a gym. I am not sure where a conversation with my dad should take place I don't even know what that sort of conversation would do. It is easier to just avoid the situation, even if means I might not see him again. That's pretty hard to say but, I can't risk my mental health to be dragged into some sort of chaos by him.

Maybe it is because my mom has her boyfriend around and if I talk about him, maybe it would cause some rift between them? I don't know. I don't even want to think about it that far. Also my aunt calling me about the dog, it is like... why does she think I want to talk about the dog?

The most annoying thing of today was what happened at RCO. She basically used my past to threaten me moving. She's trying to establish dominance of some sort so, I am thinking I need to align myself more with that attorney to know my legal options.

I don't even want to think about how creepy it was that some of my stuff was missing in my room, meaning someone was in it looking around. It could be Peter but I am more leaning towards it being my mom, which makes me think... I need to just leave and go somewhere completely different. I am really tired of all of this. My " boyfriend " I don't even think can really understand me. And I mean, if we can't do that, it is hard to reconcile us being together. It has nothing to do with race or anything like that, if you just can't vibe, it maybe isn't worth it.

Listening to Jimmy is making me a bit happy, he got some sort of tumble and ended up in the hospital for some reason so, it made me a little worried . I thought about maybe buying one of his merchandise. I was going to buy his mom and dad a box of Krispy Kreme's but when he went on about being on a diet or what not I decided that it was a sign not to. I am giving the merchandise great consideration.

After thinking about it for a while, into the next day, I thought maybe it could be the insurance company people. I don't think it was Steven. I ended up adding Steven to Facebook. But it could've been Josh. I can't check my voicemail because Google Fi/Android is being stupid and the voice mail is sot of beyond retarded now. Unfortunately I don't know if I can change the app.

I sort of spent my time stupidly last night, I went to the bar but I didn't stay, I felt it was a waste of time, I didn't even have time to wait for a steak and egg dinner/breakfast. I have no idea who finds bars entertaining. Ah well, I am sure there are cool bars out there but the one I went to was boring.

Jahon just called me. He calls me every morning, but I feel like it isn't enough and I am not trying to be unappreciative, if we were really connecting or it felt like a safe place it would be great, but I feel like it is simply he's bored and just trying not to be an asshole rather than really wanting to talk to me.