Somewhat good news

I had a bit of a break from Vocal and other tasks I normally do on my laptop due to some weird malfunction with the OS. I was a bit devastated when it happened but I just decided to take a break from the computer for a bit.

" I don't need it."

I was sick anyway so it wasn't like I had enough energy to even react properly so I figured I focus on getting better first then address the computer issue. Yesterday, I went to staples with my bulky laptop and found out that, the problems miraculously healed themselves over the time I wasn't using my computer. That's pretty good since the thing that was devastating me the most was thinking how much it would take to fix it.

I have been thinking lately even though I thought otherwise, perhaps I should return to working on projects. You know? I tried the whole love thing and figure out stuff like that but really, no one wants to work with me in that way, or the last time I had a supportive partner I sort of fucked it up but, I recognize that was my problem and not that I was doing anything wrong or...mmm what is the word... Like, my choice in path wasn't wrong, it was just the way I was going about it. Hell, I even told the vocational person all the mistakes I made and I already figured out the right way. Right now I am thinking of the things that I perceive to need to do. Some of them of course are things I need to do, but I think I don't need to sacrifice my future for it.

I need to earn money for the deposit. That is my goal, but after that goal is met. I have time to make more.

Maybe that is something he is realizing too, that our goals don't really match and he'd be bending so much to come tag along with me.

At the very least, I should decide what to do with my Youtube channel. It has all my old footage of streaming on Twitch and if I am honest, it needs to be edited pretty bad if I am to salvage anything. I might need to hire someone to do that.

Fiverr might be the place to go for that, I can at least get a good idea of how much it costs...

I am now at Starbucks finishing writing this. I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich despite Yuki saying a liquid diet would be the fastest way to lose weight.

Jahon called me while I was at the gym, made me kind of happy. I was sad the other day because I wanted to be with him, but... is this breadcrumbing or should I accept this effort? It did make me happy. I felt good having someone to talk to while I was at the gym. He was working too so it was just a spare moment he found between tasks. Nah, that's cute, I like that.

I need to check out that place that Kim talked about in town, but since I talked to Jahon he thought maybe somewhere closer to Newberg would be better, as I have been saying for a while now, considering any apartment in Newberg to be a compromise. I thought that from the beginning, and since he also said that it would be foolish to pass on my current voucher to just wait for Portland. I can save up in the meantime.

I think I need to not overdo anything either way, I will just do the errands I need to do on time either way, and just keep to that. Be grateful for the help that I do get and just keep pushing until the things get done, I guess.

I might need to just go to Marshall's to find some new sweatpants. My favorite Avia ones unfortunately have holes in it now so I can't really wear them anymore. Those were really my favorite though. Thanks, Aunt Pat.

I don't know what to do with my Milanote account either. I mean that sort of goes hand in hand with what I was doing before.