Word of the Day: 中二病

Wondering what I am going to do after class. I guess I should try to leave after.

I came to the school, I figured I can just study here at least, get out of my house so I can clear my head but I find my body still very tired. I tried to buy a coffee but it just ended up making me jittery.

Also I find it funny of myself that, when I am mad or serious, I listen to Serbian Reggaeton lol.

I feel kind of crazy but, you can hide crazy in productivity. It is the reason why Steve Jobs was successful. I am just trying to survive the term at this point, I don't even know what I am going to do about Javokhir.

I just realized what my problem was. I didn't bring my todo list to class with me. I could've been completing tasks at school, without the timer and saving it for when I got home.

Wow.

Ok I guess we live and learn. I did do that at the begining of term but kind of stopped when I realized the timer was too much, but I could have just brought the Todo list and saved all the time. I am such an idiot. I mean I can't blame myself, I did whatever I thought was good at the time, but now I have learned and this is why I came to this place.

Oh that reminds me that I need to still create that list of my themes on this blog, I have that notebook at home though. I am pretty sure I will pass the test tomorrow ok, maybe like 80% but that is good enough, I don't need to think too much about it but I can't skate by on this forever, it will not last me until the end of all the Japanese classes.

I hope this next term will be conservative enough to where I can pass the classes I have selected. I think I will because, it isn't math lol. I think I'll save math for the end of my degree, to be honest.

I need to try to think of how I will get enough energy to actually study for the things I need to do, or at least turn in all the homework.

I flipped a coin to see since I don't have my dice right now and it said to do the homework. I guess it has spoken. Also it gives me more time on my timer.

I think also maybe the reason i am so weak is that I haven't been exercising enough and there is no sun this time of year so I am super low on vitamin D so my body is all weak from that. I have supplements. Also just trauma I think.

I wonder if Marina Ambromvic has violent PTSD? I guess as a fellow woman, not matter whether she chose to or not to do something, she was violated, and as a fellow person who has been violated... I don't want to say I feel a kinship with her but.. I think there is a certain form of respect that she.. Lives by her own principles, and I wish I had the courage to also do that. I am trying at the very least. But I also do feel the pressures to conform as someone " off their meds " and...well just eccentric in general.

I also think about possibly going to the Japanese club but I think I just need to focus on myself. The music is great.