Word of the Day: 収納

So I have been looking for apartments in my current town because I am losing hope that the Springbrook property is going to open up any time soon.

I found a nearly identical quality of apartment in town that has even better interior and is close to a grocery store. I also was able to send an application in so, that helps.

I really got messed up today, I thought it was Wednesday for some reason and made a mistake about the appointment with Keely. She was nice enough to come by the coffee shop today since my dumbass decided to come here before checking my calendar.

I was studying the Coding books and I think Keely was surprised that I was doing it. She told me she also sometimes uses medical coding in her job in therapy so, I was interested. Actually more intimidated since I was struggling to know the distinction between ICD-10 and ICD-10-CM.

These facts won't stay in my head without flashcards but Anki is being a piece of shit

I am still new to this thing so I am just looking at all I need to study and trying to grasp what I need to

I haven't had time to lotion my feet so I am getting a crack in it more and it is hurting. I am going to need like 3 days to just take care of it.

Reo and I have been getting closer lately. He found a book for me and got it online for free. Those sort of things mean a lot to me. Also I have just wanted to be sexual towards someone. I don't know if right but, he feels easy to be this way with. I think temperment wise we're compatible. But it worries me if I can't make time to do a phone call with him or if talking real time is too awkward, that might be telling me something that I need to pay attention to.

My mom gave me stupid advice and I offended her with my answer:

Now that you're going to be moving out, if you lose all your weight be careful of the rift raft living in this units who might be interested.

I replied:

I am not like you who fucks the next door neighbor and gets pregnant.

She said I was rude and " sent me away " but I didn't tell any lies, my brother was the product of my mom sleeping with her neighbor. I am always looking for someone who lives far away from me or have a tendency to want to connect with people far away from where I am physically at.

I don't know why either I guess I just like the idea of having something completely to myself, like an isolated sanctuary of comfort/love/affection

I guess that is what I want my next relationship to be, I want to feel safe and cared for. I don't want to have to worry like I did with some of the other people I've been with. I mean, we'll have our own sort of problems but I want them to feel workable and I don't want to have to worry... like ever, over my safety.

It is sort of opposite of Reo though. He's jumped out of an airplane before. Maybe I am too timid for him.

Oh well, for now, it is good. And maybe this not falling head over heels right away with someone is normal? I wouldn't know, I have always gone for guys who just sweep me off my feet in some way right off the bat.