Who Doesn't Love the Maccaw

When I first saw that Vocal.media was sponsoring a writing challenge which needed to include the endangered bird the Maccaw I groaned so loudly I woke up my slumbering wife. She was pissed, and when I told her what it was that had caused my loud outburst she got even more pissed. "Dan, you are a freakin idiot" or something like that was what she said. I really wasn't paying any attention to her at that point because all I could think about was how stupid of an idea that actually was. After a time, as I pondered it more, the idea actually began to make me angry. It was so stupid that I was becoming angry. Angry with the world, angry with myself, angry with the good people at Vocal.media, but mostly angry at the Maccaw, a bird I had only every previously thought about on those few rare occasions when I had deployed it as an answer in a NY Times crossword puzzle.

It wasn't the Maccaw's fault that it had been so terribly appropriated as a prompt in some ridiculous writing challenge. It had no choice in the matter, not really. Or did it? As I continued to ponder that possibility, the possibility that in fact the Maccaw had entered into a dark conspiracy with the editorial staff at Vocal dot media, to be part of this so called writing challenge, I became even more enraged. Then I got really sleepy and hit the sack for the night. When I awoke the next day the whole conspiracy theory thing struck me as ridiculous and I decided to move on to the next most ridiculous thing I could think about, or write about, which brought me here, to these very words you are currently reading. These very ridiculous words. If you have made it this far then you have chosen to continue this journey into ridicularity of your own free will. There is no turning back now. It is too late for that my friend, you are in my world now and in my world, it is my rules. Rule #1 in my world, no talking about my world. Rule #2, The Maccaw is the single greatest endangered bird in the world, by a wide margin easily beating out the second greatest (but definitely cutest) endangered bird, the piping plover.

In any event, thinking about the Maccaw brings me right back to memories of my youth. Specifically my first ever Trapper Keeper from 6th grade which featured the Maccaw in flight emblazoned in bright colors across both the front and back. It was either the Maccaw or it was the color red, just plain red, one of the two of those for sure. As I recall that Trapper Keeper did a very find job of keeping traps, or whatever the hell it was supposed to do, but what it did not do was keep me from getting my ass womped on on a near daily basis for being such a huge nerd. Mostly this was because of the bright red Trapper Keeper I always carried around like some kind of nerd would do. At least my Trapper Keeper didn't have a Maccaw on it like that kid I womped on each day in retaliation for my own wompings, now he was a nerd. Or was that me? Or did mine have the Maccaw? Now I am totally confused. More than likely, if you have made this far, you are confused as well. Are you angry? Enraged even? Yes? Fine, just don't wake up your slumbering partner by groaning loudly. Next thing you know you will be writing about some dumb bird for reasons no one seems to remember or care about. Go Maccaw! You are the bestest!