When An Angel Call's

I looked at the clock and it was 6:58 pm. My throat tightened, my eyes narrowed as I was attempting to fight back tears. Luke wasn’t coming; I might as well accept the reality that he had ghosted me again. Another broken promise and another lie. More rejection. I ran upstairs and screamed in a guttural tone punishing myself.

“YOU STUPID, STUPID GIRL! You are so STUPID!!!! You IDIOT!!! You knew he would do this to you. You knew it. Yet you did it anyway!!! You are such an idiot. NEVER AGAIN!!! He doesn’t care about you. So stupid. “

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, as tears cascaded down my cheeks and fell into the sink below. Disgust, and disappointment overshadow any compassion that may be lurking below the surface. Then rage engulfed my soul like an inferno and exploded all the pent up pain that had been locked away for years. “THIS MADNESS HAS TO STOP!!!!” I screamed.

I collapsed onto the bed in grief. “Why? Why is no one willing to love me, the way I am able to love them? I deserve to have a wonderful person in my life. I don’t want to be alone. Why do I feel so alone all the time? I just can’t do this anymore. It’s too much pain. I need help. Is there anybody that can just hold this pain for just a few minutes?”

I exhaled and repeated, “Just for a few minutes.” as I drifted off to sleep.

A few minutes later I’m awaken to a voice that said the following.

“This energy is not healthy for you, you need to let them go for now. You are beautiful, loving and kind. This person doesn’t deserve you. You need to heal your heart.

"You are protected. Trust us and trust the journey.”

“We have something better planned for you.”

Slightly in awe and a bit freaked out by the voice. I force myself to get up, dry my tears, and make my way downstairs. I squish my feet in my tennis shoes. Stopping for a minute on the stairs to regain my composure, as tears start to well up in my eyes again. My mind started to drift back to all the times I had been there for Luke. During illnesses, job losses, COVID layoffs, I even lent him money, and how he kept me hidden away like a dirty secret that no one knew about.

One time I actually had the courage to tell Luke I loved him and his response was, “Please don’t say that to me, it makes me feel uncomfortable.” What kind of cruel human being rejects another person's love? People spend their entire lives in search of companionship. He tossed my love away like it needed to be obliterated from the planet.

I looked up and noticed that two of my cats were sitting in front of me; Sebastian who's all black with giant yellow eyes and Popeye, a tabby mix with a giant fluffy tail that looks like a feather duster. Their faces looked so concerned. I opened my arms and they pranced over to me and curled up in them. Rubbing their heads against me I grabbed Sebastian, gave him a big kiss on his head he chirped in protest and then flipped Popeye on his back like a baby gave him a kiss too. Then grabbing my keys and phone and off I went for a night walk to clear my mind.

It was a giant full moon hanging in the sky. The timing was perfect to close a life cycle. As I rounded the corner and approached the park the balmy air shifted. Then out of nowhere like a night angel a barn owl flew directly overhead into the large oak tree. One single golden feather floated through the air as I reached out my hand to grab it. It was like a gift meant just for me. I smiled as I ran the golden feather through my fingertips. It calmed me.

The owl turned his eyes piercing, beckoning me to come closer. We stood there for about a half an hour taking each other in. He was gorgeous, my wise messenger. Was I brave enough to follow him into the dark journey to the light? Then with a chilling scream my night messenger flew into the darkness. At that moment my heart infused with gratitude for my new friend, the barn owl and the gifts of hope for brighter days ahead.