What I'd Go Back In Time To Tell Myself

What's the best thing anyone ever told you? Do you remember it? Did you listen?

Since you probably didn't listen, the next generation won't do any better. Who are any of us kidding by thinking we can impart wisdom onto the young? If we were lucky, someone tried with us. They failed, but at least they tried.

Does that sound familiar now that you're older? It's a virtual certainty that young people aren't going to listen to the rantings of someone they don't feel a connection with. Not all of us grew up wanting to be like mom and dad, or even grandpa and grandma, if we were fortunate enough to have those people.

Doesn't it still ring true that we have to try?

What if you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, knowing what you know now, and get yourself to listen? Imagine the possible change you'd experience returning to your time. That's a fun game, but none of us have a DeLorean, a crazy friend called Doc, and this isn't a movie.

What would you say to the young that you hope they'd listen to and use? I know there are things I didn't learn until I was older, and some of them would have come in handy much sooner.

For example, I learned the value of using my ears more than my mouth. I'm reminded of a visiting U.S. Marshal's Office in my district. The Marshal appointed to the office pulled me aside one day and asked me to come to his private office, away from the deputy marshals and my partner. I was in my early thirties, but still nervous.

"I think I've got you figured out," he says.

All I could think to say was okay. I was wondering to myself if I was in trouble, considering that professionally, I was in deeper waters compared to my normal area.

"You're not like your partner, pretending to be more than you are. It's not that you're shy or that you're not here. You're listening and taking it all in, aren't you?"

It was what I was doing. I was on assignment, and the least experienced guy in the room. I'd had the chance to do some cool things, but I still had plenty I didn't know, and learning the federal system was what I thought my next move should be.

As the marshal explained, my partner had been on these assignments many times, and he was tolerated but not as well-liked as he wanted to think. Coming from a smaller agency, in a much smaller pond, it was important to realize that, in reality, they had higher standards of professionalism and personal conduct than we did. As he would explain, listening and learning were a smart call compared to boasting and bragging about things that didn't matter.

"So why aren't you out there boasting about your stories from the sheriff's department?" he asked.

"All that crap doesn't impress anybody."

And just like that, I was invited to stop into the office and visit, bring up any questions I might have, and talk about what we were doing with the Marshals Service with the head of the office.

Listening to things, learning, and using our mouths less is a way to gain knowledge, learn how to use that knowledge, and that leads to wisdom. Wisdom can lead to access you wouldn't get otherwise.

There are other things I'd tell my younger self, or share with young people today who are willing to listen.

• No matter what, you're on a lonely road. Accept and embrace the idea that your journey isn't that of your friends, your relatives, or your loved ones. They are merely along for the ride.
• Stop Bitching And Understand: The world isn't here for you. It sucks, but move on. The world isn't perfect, and it likely won't be in your lifetime or mine. But you can work on what's in your orbit.
• You don't know, even if you think you do! That one sucks to learn, but as smart as some people think they are, they are still learning into their fifties. So, don't just hear the people around you, listen!
• The fun you're having today comes with a price tag you'll later have to pay. This is one those of us who've made it to our fifties or more can attest to. If you take better care of yourself today, you'll feel younger longer, because the aches and pains of older age are multiplied by the number of things you did to your body when young.
• Use your first ten to fifteen working years to set yourself up financially. Those are the years to learn to invest, squirrel away money, and not be burdened with the competition to look the coolest, drive the coolest car, or have the house or apartment that beats out all your friends.
• Lastly, don't trust anybody! That's at first. The world isn't a friendly place, and idealistic views of people are based on dreams. The reality is that you'll encounter people in your professional life and your personal life who will use you, chew you up, and spit you out. Some of the people you'll think are cool, or find yourself attracted to, will bring trouble with them.
• Stick to your own. What that means is it's best for you if you stick with those people who are like-minded. If you're chasing the idea of being wealthy, stick with friends on the same journey. The same goes for being a firefighter or a cop. There is a reason the top or upper management in agencies all hung out together when they were young, and all rose to the top.
• Keep a strong and healthy body. Not everybody needs to go at it like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but make it a part of your lifestyle when you're young. The fewer maintenance meds you need and chemicals you put into your body when you're young, the better you'll be. Have your fun, but keep in shape and adopt a cleaner living lifestyle.

Those are the things I wish somebody had imparted to me when I was younger. We aren't doing anybody any favors by not sharing the facts. We live in a harsh world, and a few simple things can make the world easier because they'll give us more strength, knowledge, and wisdom to succeed.