Drowning

When someone drowns

They drown in silence

They don't scream

they dont yell

its quiet suffering

knowing any second can be your last

hoping someone will notice you

save you

Bring the air back into your lungs

It gets to a point where God is the only one who can help you

But how

When

WHEN

Im in pain

it hurts

i need air

my lungs are hurting

my head is spinning

my body hurts from trying so hard

Swim, swim, swim

never stop

pull youself back up

i try and try and try

i need help

but im scared to ask for help

praying they will notice me

praying

i used to pray all the time

when things were good

but now i just stay in the silence

in the corner

holding myself

cuz i got no one to hold me

they say things get better

but never say when

they say to trust them

to keep holding on

its easier to let go

than to deal with it for so much longer

if i am to whisper

would you hear me?

if i was to yell

would you say im an attention seeker?

if i was to not say anything

would you have said i should?

would you cry for me?

would you put flowers on my grave?

would you act quilty?

or act like the victim

would you notice my struggles?

have you?

or did you know and ignored it instead

i wonder if you would love me more

if i was gone

paid more attention to me

Can you hear me?

if i was drowning silently?

would you aplogize?

would you help me?

would you love me?

would you?

I dont know if id want to know

i rather not know what you feel

i rather just deal with this myself

taking p!lls

doing dr!gs

drinking till dr!nk

you found out

yelled at me

called me a failure

said i was a disappointment

my demons already told me

your too late

being h!gh gave me something to feel other than pain

makes me see the world differently

make me see the world

wish youd see me the way i see the world

but then again im broken

but i dont want to be fixed

i dont want someone to pick up all my peices iv left

bled

i want to walk a trail no one has been on

walk a life i always dreamed of

but im stuck here

in a world where no one hears me

can you hear me?

can you see me?

notice my pain

before its too late

maybe it already is

should i run away?

would life be easier for you?

or is my demons talking to me

am i letting them take me away from reality

is this reality

the real world

i hope its not

i hope none has to deal with this

the way i did

did

the way i did..

cuz its too late

im sorry mom and dad

for being a disappointent

for not being better

i guess my good grades werent enough

im invisible

and lonely

but the sun is disappearing.

the water fills my lungs

and my time runs out

it seems peaceful

drowning is peaceful

after you accept your fate

its warm

not cold

i just wish i was strong enough

THANKYOU FOR READING MY POEM!!

i havent posted in such a long time and i apologize. This is an old draft that i never got to publish. So yes, its kindof terrible and should be better. but this is a "im back post". I have a wattpad account now and I am resuming in my writing career. You can check me out at NightChxse

I have started a story called "The AddIct and the Lighter"

Chapter one is out!!

Chapter 2 will be posted either January 10th or January 11th

Stay posted and please support me

What inspired me to write:

I have always have a passion for writing and reading since I learned how to read. I was so fasinated. Fortunately, I grew up in an unsupported and strict household. I only had pen and paper to write. It would take me days just to write one chapter. But I had soooo many story ideas, and some I believe are million dollar worth books. It wasnt till i turned 18 that I finally started trying to write stories, but then I got depressed and put it to the side. I posted on vocal.media, but i was using ai instead of my own voice. Which i regret till this day, because ai, sucks at writing stories. Its not human. 2026 came. and I said "you know what, who cares if im depressed, I cant keep living like this."

So I hoped back on vocal media and now will start writing again. This time, no AI. All written by my own hands and mind. I hope you'll support me and come with me on this journey. I also want to see if I improved on my writing skills.

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY