Therapy-ish

So many people trying to call me yesterday and this morning. Jan calling makes sense because I didn't actually go to her appointment but I don't feel like talking to her right now is good.

Jahon is being completely stupid so, I feel like I should block him. When it gets to the point where you can't talk to someone, it becomes a waste of time. I guess I got to ghost him since he isn't responsive to normal conversation.

I felt like I wasted 2 days and 200 dollars. I am glad I am recovering fairly quickly but Jahon completely emotionally betraying me and my mom also being unreasonable, I am actually pretty proud of only taking 2 days to recover. In the past sometimes days like these would take me out for weeks.

I am thinking I am going to go to my aunt's house and asking if she'll buy her father's clock from me since she bought the bed posts and stuff from my grandma. The full price is 1,200 dollars but, the pendulum isn't working so, it will probably cost a bit to fix. I am thinking 1k will be good.

I have a prescriber appointment today. I don't think I am going to go. I haven't been taking any medication and since last appointment, I don't feel like my preferences are respected at all. The medications just gave me RLS, which Monique can testify to, and the Depression/Anxiety relief is not worth the symptoms and their solution, is just switching the medication. I am tired of these unreliable mental health providers. They're just snakes preying on the weak. Since I am on OHP they aren't offering different modalities or other therapy methods, so it just feels like they're using me as a guinea pig or a slaughter cow.

Someone from the Water and Light woke me up this early morning to change something to the water meter thing outside. Apparently my mom made an appointment for that. Also my ex sister-in-law came over? I feel like it is so odd, but I am just continuing with my plans today. I am getting a sus atmosphere here so, it just sort of confirming that I need to head out asap.

I also want to ask about my inheritance. I don't really know if this is the right time or if the investments have reached their full maturity, but I feel like this is the only time I can use it. Emotionally I don't feel that desperate for it, but the situation sort of calls for it or, I feel like I need to work harder right now. I've always been the type of person to be very cautious and calculative but, I feel I need to make more decisive steps going forward.

I am trying to be optimistic since talking to this woman is usually a challenge. My hope is that she's in a good mood and not busy today.

It seems she is not at home at the moment so, I am thinking I should wait until about 4pm or whenever that prescriber's appointment is.

The only thing I feel in a rush of or more pressured is to get as much accomplished in my days as possible. My mood is fairly good right now other than a slight headache, but I think that's because I just drank coffee and didn't eat anything with it.

I went to the Jan's office and there was a man complaining about services and I was like, " Yep. Totally agree. They're shit. " but over all trying to mind my own business talking to the front desk person. Mr. Bowman (the staff person talking to the man in the lobby) was there, or at least I think he was Bowman. He seemed more curt or pressured after the discussion with that man in the lobby, and he was very adamant about solidifying a specific time I'd be there.

I don't even know why I am going. I feel like it is a waste of time. I am over here waiting at a coffee shop for the time being but, I feel like it isn't going to be a "good" meeting.