The Truth and Nothing But

It happened during a two-day period. The Earth seemed to be stuck in the comet’s tail as they cruised through space together. On day three, the unnamed and unexpected comet went on its merry way, leaving a thin coating of dust embedded on every surface of the planet and a drastically transformed human population. Some called the change a blessing from God, others described it as a curse from the devil himself. Whatever it was, people needed to learn to adjust to a new reality.

Pete and Delilah woke up feeling no different from the day before. They went about their normal morning routine, eating breakfast, watching the morning news, and dressing for work. Delilah walked out of her closet wearing a new dress and playfully asked, “Do you like this?”

“Wow… it really highlights your fat rolls.” Pete couldn’t believe what he had just said. He followed that with, “Sorry, but you wouldn’t want me to lie, would you?” He braced himself for the tsunami of emotion that his unfiltered words were about to unleash.

Delilah stood frozen in stunned disbelief. How could this man she had been married to for ten years be so cruel? Tears welled in her eyes as her anger reached terminal velocity. She tried with every fiber in her body to rain down fire and devastation on him, but all she could say was, “You’re right, I have put on weight, but so have you. You should start leaving your shirt untucked. When it’s tucked in, it highlights your gut drooping over your belt.”

Pete, both baffled by his wife’s lack of vitriol and surprised at his own calm demeanor, simply replied, “Thanks for pointing that out. I’ll start doing sit-ups until my paunch returns to normal.” The couple watched each other, waiting for more, but there was nothing else to be said. They kissed goodbye and left for work.

Just when Pete thought the day couldn’t get any stranger, he was about to realize how wrong he was. He arrived at the courthouse and found his client waiting patiently for him.

“Today is going to be a tough day, Mr. Albertson. The district attorney will do everything he can to make you look guilty. You must remain calm and admit to nothing, no matter what.”

“But I am guilty. I scammed those people out of their life savings. You wouldn’t want me to lie, would you, Pete? I want to plead guilty and return what’s left of the money to those people. Maybe the judge will give me a lighter sentence if I do that.”

Pete was lost for words. They entered the courtroom and immediately asked for a sidebar with the judge.

“Your Honor, my client wants to change his plea to guilty and make restitution to his victims in hopes of a lighter sentence.”

The judge shook his head in disbelief, “Counselor, this is the third defendant this morning that has changed their plea to guilty. I don’t understand what’s going on, but it definitely makes my job easier.”

Pete’s client was taken into custody, and he was free for the rest of the day. He gave Delilah a call to see if she was free for lunch, and they made plans to meet at a local sandwich shop. Having an honest criminal for a client had its benefits.

The big screen TV in the restaurant flashed Breaking News. “The senator from West Virginia has just agreed to a clean energy bill to eliminate the need for coal. Both senators from Texas and Oklahoma also offered their support for the bill. They all proclaimed it was the right thing to do for the country.”

“What in the world is going on?” exclaimed Delilah. “The day starts with you calling me fat, then your client pleads guilty, and now senators turning their backs on their sugar daddies. Has the universe turned upside down?”

“I don’t know, Delilah. This shift to brutal honesty may be hard to deal with at first, but it is producing some positive results.”

Just then, their waitress walked up to take their order. She wrote down their choices and frowned. “The corned beef is a good choice, but the chicken salad is left over from two days ago and tastes awful.”

Delilah changed her order to tuna salad.

Later in the week, scientists announced that comet dust contained an element that caused people to speak the truth no matter the consequence. They had no idea how long this phenomenon would last or if it was reversible. Then again, did anyone want it reversed?