The Source

A person without financial means.

Who are you?

Spirituality that can overcome reality!?!

...

What do I say to that?

What do I say??

Having means spells out guaranteed possibilities.

It's the wall that separates the Tone Deaf from the Oppression Olympians.

It is what makes me unattractive to myself.

It is why I cannot read what I write.

It is why I adequately fail at consistency.

It is why I find resentment and depression so near and dearly fatal.

It is why I cannot believe.

It is tired and broken - it is being broken and tired.

It's a broken tiredness and a tiredness of breaking into more pieces as each plan for eradicating poverty or betterment of self builds enough traction to distract the next few minutes of your Oppression Empire and expires.

It is finding that emotional labour is more than just coming into age and figuring yourself out.

Emotional labour is in standing up after peeing because you must find your defences again. You exhale exhaustingly at the air in the room and hold all your burdens in your eyelids. You will eventually have to lift your burdens back onto your back and continue moving with load and operating under any circumstance.

It is when the energy you need to put action to thought cannot be found in sleep.

I am part of the Oppression Olympians - obvious, at least to me.

I love it when we lay in bed and you put one hand on my waist and hip and another under my vest.

I feel all the textures of your hand feel my surfaces, that's the source calling.

I leave myself to your suggestions and allow you to seduce my resistant mind.

I love your sexual impulses and timing.

This is the thing.

This is the poor man's pastime.

This is the poor man's pump of possibilities.

It is also the source of all. It has no morality, rights, or privilege. Only feeling and connecting.

This life source is where I find reminders that I love and am alive and I love to orgasm and be organic to my whims and flows.

This is what is real.

I plan to be within the source for as many lifetimes as I get.

The source, the creator of life and family and love is always the solution - to any question.

Try it!

Whatever problem or question, ask it and indulge in coitus and you will come out with an answer.

This is why it's been demonized and gagged with contraceptions. We are manipulated to feel at fault and within control of our fate.

Truly, we are all and the source is just the source - nothing more, nothing less. We aren't meant to know what's next, only live and all will be well.

It is control and no control.

It is knowing and not knowing

It is for you to feel... in your body, in your essence, and then live with that.

I think that's what spirituality is trying to give.

I think that's what Manifestation is looking to share.

And I think oneness with the source is tone deafness, living in abundance, and naive.

The hippie, boho fairytale is an example of seeking to live within the source.

Make lots and lots of love repeatedly, over and over again, eat, move your body, sleep, and let others live.

I feel like that is the blueprint to finding abundance and joy. This is me right now.

No worries or anything, just naked living in the source with the man I love, while we watch our baby sleep.

We need tone-deafness. We need to know what it is to never go without and it should never feel as though we need to be grateful.

We don't need to imagine the worst circumstance that someone else out there is living through for us to pay a due for living with our privilege.

Privilege means that we live without avoidable baggage. It means that when we dream, we wake up to execute instinctively.

It means we can take a bite of food, throw it away and never feel guilty or consider it a waste.

Nature has its scavengers and where would they be if every hunting or foraging animal ate every bit of their meal?

Privilege feeds creation, hopefully, more than poverty and misery. It seems to have a depth we are allowed to indulge in, peacefully. Its depth hasn't got an up and down direction only, it is to one's desire, design, and curiosity.

This depth feels like the source with emphasis on FEELS. I haven't experienced anything more genuine than childbirth and sex. Anything more grounding and lifting.

What happens when you find yourself in a choice of desire or disappointment?

The meteor, or whatever, that killed all dinosaurs - do we call that a desire to blossom a new world or a disappointment of that current world?

When we dream and wish and plan, and in the execution we use up resources that could have allowed someone close to us to thrive in their dreams and wishes - do we feel encouragement or sympathy with guilt and shame of thinking ourselves "more important"?

All creation is symbiotic. We need scavengers to eliminate our inconsiderate wastefulness and they need our waste to indulge in a buffet.

We can't cheer on ambitions without soothing the grief of never living one's dream.

And in Maya Angelou's words from The Heart of a Woman, "Trying to overcome was black people's honourable tradition."

A proud tradition of cheering in and for misery - a symbiotic paradox.

Now more and more people are trying to overcome what other humans are forcing us to endure. And we keep the systems thriving.