"The Last Love Letter"

It’s 7:45 PM. He’s 45 minutes late.

I texted him. No reply.

I called him. No reply.

Fear and anxiety began to slowly creep throughout my whole body.

Today is supposed to be one special day.

We’re celebrating our very first anniversary in one of London’s finest restaurants for the very first time.

Tonight is supposed to be one special night.

Here I am, wearing my beautiful, vintage, red dress, paired with classic, white, Pearl earrings and necklace.

Everything looked so romantically perfect...

If only he’s here...

I looked at the clock.

I looked at my phone.

I looked around the entire restaurant.

There’s still no sign of him.

Where are you?

Please don’t do this to me...

To take my mind off the agony of waiting and wondering,

I took a letter from my handbag and immediately opened it.

Should I read it again?

Before I could even answer my question,

I found my eyes going through the letter... my letter...

Using my most beautiful stationery and special fountain pen, I wrote it 3 days and 3 nights ago for Robert. Is it for our first anniversary? No.

It is a letter meant to be written...but not meant to be given...

My darling Robert,

When we both entered into this relationship,

I made a promise to myself, that I’ll be “the best girlfriend ever”...

And so, every single day, when I wake up, I ask myself the question:

“How can I make Robert happy today?”

In my own little way, how can I make Robert happy today?

Everything I did, I did them all from the heart...

I’m not asking nor expecting anything in return, my darling...

Over the past year, however, I have realized that the two of us have very different standards when it comes to communication in relationships.

I have tried my very best to find a healthy compromise and I’m still trying to... but I owe myself to let you know that it pains me, my darling, to say good morning and make your tea, only not to be acknowledged until the end of the day.

We used to have short yet sweet conversations, but now I’ll be lucky if you even touch the food and say “Thank you”.

It pains me, my darling, to say good night, only to be told that you’re tired, and that you’ll just be in touch with me tomorrow.

And so, I’ll go to bed looking forward to morning and counting the hours to sunrise, like a little kid on Christmas Eve... but no, you’ll not be in touch with me in the morning, nor in the afternoon, not even in the evening.

It pains me, my darling, to always be the one who takes initiative to communicate with you. And when we finally do get to have some time for each other, it pains me that you prefer to cut it short and spend it with others.

“Would you like to place your order, Miss? We have the finest selection of wine in London.” One of the servers kindly asked me.

“N-No, thank you... I’ll wait for my fiancé...” I replied, my voice slightly stunned.

He looked at me and gave me a warm smile...

“May I at least, bring you a glass of water then? It’s on the House...”

I looked at him and gave him a warm smile...

I realized that he knew that I have been waiting for almost an hour... and that he was simply being kind and thoughtful.

“Yes, a glass of water, please... thank you...” I replied, my voice calm and collected.

“A glass of water it is...” He said, as he went on his way.

As I watched him disappeared, I saw two servers passed by... They were carrying silver trays, full of dainty cups, plates, and cutleries. On the plates were crumbs of leftover food.

I stared at them... rather sadly and silently... my eyes cold and empty...

They may be the finest crumbs in London, but at the end of every meal, crumbs are crumbs, and no one deserves them.

No self-loving and self-respecting human being should settle for crumbs...

I sighed and returned to reading my letter.

How I wish we could travel back in time, my darling...

You were so attentive and loving to me back then... my big little heart couldn’t ask for more... I was the luckiest girl in the world.

Back then, you used to keep in touch in the morning and evening.

Yours was the voice I first hear when I wake up, and the last one I hear before I fall asleep.

You even find time to call me in between office meetings and long business trips, which I so very much appreciate. How I miss those days...

I don’t understand, my darling...

The more I try to understand, the more it doesn’t make sense.

Time flew by and seasons changed...

When you proposed and I said “Yes”, you slowly began to take me for granted.

You often say “small things” don’t matter... that we should focus more on the “big things”.

Engagement. Marriage. Children. Anniversaries. These “big” milestones are what matters the most in a relationship, you say.

I beg to disagree, my darling...

The “small things” do matter... and they matter more. Building a long lasting relationship is similar to building a house: it all begins with a small brick.

Every single day, you show up, and lay one brick on top of each other...

one “small” brick at a time.

Every single day, rain or shine, you show up, you find a way to show up, so you can lay another brick on top of each other...

one “small” brick at a time.

For it is on the daily “Good Morning”, “Good Night”, “How are you?”, “I’m here for you”, “I appreciate you”, and “I love you”, that a relationship thrives. These simple acts of love and kindness, carried out on a consistent basis are what truly matters.

By choosing to commit to the “small things”, my darling, we create the “big things”.

“Here’s your fresh glass of water, Miss...” Someone with a familiar voice suddenly said.

I looked up and saw the kind server.

“Th-Thank you...” I managed to say, as I put down my letter on the side of the table.

“I apologize for always startling you... I didn’t mean to... it’s just that you’re so focused on what you’re reading...” He then said, as he slowly poured water in my cup.

“Oh no, don’t worry about it... it’s just a letter that I wrote... it’s not even done...and I don’t even know if I’ll give it or not...” I said back, trying to gather myself together.

However, it seems like he sensed my sadness, as he then took out a handsome bottle of Merlot and a beautiful bouquet of Red Roses from a cart just behind him.

I was left speechless.

“Someone by the name of Mr. Robert Lyons had these specially ordered for you... your fiancé, perhaps?”

“Yes, that’s him. Thank you! Is he here?”

“I’m afraid he’s not... but he left a request to pour you a glass of Merlot. May I?”

“I see... yes, you may...”

I watched silently, as he slowly poured wine in my cup.

“Enjoy, Miss. Please call me if you need anything else. My name is Victor... Vico for short.”

“I will. Thank you, Vico...”

The moment he left, I immediately took the small card from the bouquet. Inside is a handwritten note that says:

I’ll be there in two hours. Completely forgot. Enjoy the Merlot and Roses. Ciao, Robert

I sighed. I took my pen from my handbag and finally finished writing my letter.

It pains me so much to write this message, my darling... I may not understand so many things... but I know that someone who truly loves me, will never treat me the way you do. I deserve better.

Farewell,

Anna

After putting the letter inside the envelope, I took the glass of Merlot and drank it to the last drop. Aaahhh! That was good!

I then stood up and calmly gathered all my belongings: My Coat. Handbag. Merlot. Roses. And Letter.

I looked around in search of the kind server and found him waiting on an elderly lady on the other side of the restaurant.

I smiled and gracefully made my way to where they are.

“Vico...” I kindly called his name.

It was his turn to be surprised, as he turned around and saw me standing right behind him.

“Miss?” Was all that he could say.

“I’m Anna...” I said.

“I have a favour to ask of you... could you please give this to Mr. Robert Lyons? I’m afraid I can’t wait any longer...” I asked, as I gave him the letter.

“Yes, I will... are you alright?” He asked.

“I’m perfectly fine... thank you.” I answered.

“In fact, I’ll take this exquisite fine wine, and give these lovely Red Roses to you, sweet Madame...” I continued, as I gave the bouquet to the elderly lady, who has been sitting and watching rather patiently, as I talk to her server.

“Thank you, Vico...”

“You’re welcome, Anna...”

I turned around and slowly headed on my way.

“Wait! Where are you going? If I may ask?”

I stopped and looked out the glass windows... the amazing London Eye (Ferris Wheel) caught my eye... It has always been right there, but I've never really noticed it before.

I turned back and smiled at Vico.

“First date...” I said.

“I’m taking myself on a first date...”