The Journey outside the mind

Desire! It is the force that drives us forward. The desire to eat gives us the drive to work. The desire for companionship gives us the drive to go out and do things. The desire for love can drive a person to almost anything. We can have all the things we desire if only we knew for a fact that we deserve to have everything we desire. Take me for example, I lived my life believing I was insignificant to a certain degree. You’re thought from a young age to suppress your emotions. You cry without being physically injured and you are being too sensitive. This takes away from the very real pain you are feeling and the natural urge to feel your feelings gets reduced overtime. It’s conditioning and it’s learned from those who came before them and they transfer the subtle aggression to you and you to those who come after you. An endless cycle of learned behavior. They wear you down until you our a cog in society’s wheel to propel the narrative forward. These things happen to everyone whether or not they have woken up or not, but the cycle can be broken. Someone can change their entire life by unlearning the behaviors force into us over the years. Let me tell you how I did it.

Dreams vs Reality

I often have dreams, much like anybody else, but I find that not everyone dreams the way I dream. From the time I was a toddler I was very open to the supernatural. I realized it’s one of those things you never question as a child, cause the world is a mystery to you. The possibilities are limitless and anything fantastic can happen. I experienced fantastic dreams that somehow bled into my reality. The blurred lines between my dreams and reality would have been easy for anyone to dismiss, especially when you consider it the ramblings of a child. I would have been victim to reprogramming if I wasn’t a talkative child and told my brothers about my dreams. One crazy dream In particular, I was in a big church and there where these to girls that suddenly appeared and for some reason I could sense they weren’t there to play and immediately they came after me. I fall down after running away and wake up. This is one dream I couldn’t keep to myself and I’m glad I did. I went to school the next day and in front of the school I went to as a child was a church. All I remember is at some point I was in the church and these two girls were chasing me for some odd reason. I actually fell down and the ground was unfinished and rough, so I literally lost a chunk of my knee. My mother came to pick me up and overheard me telling my brother “remember my dream, it’s just like what happened”. This was the first of many instances that kept me between the realms of reality.

Lost

Life has a weird way of breaking you down as time goes on. Bitter people love to see others just as miserable. Optimism can only get you so far when people keep trying to get you not to be positive, because they have been beaten down by life and now you have to go through it to. You lose your sense of worth in life and your worth is only realized after life is lost. I lost my sense of worth once, not completely but I felt like people didn’t see my worth. Overtime, I started to believe it. When I was at my lowest, I was shown the truth. I learned my worth when I distanced myself from those who made me feel worthless. Slowly but surely, I began finding myself and my worth. I found a new way to be free and it was much simpler than I expected. I was just true to myself and honest with myself and decided to be honest with those around me and never sacrifice my feelings to spare someone else’s. I learned that I am valuable not only to myself but to those around me. I loved myself first and the rest followed. I was found when I found love in myself.

Faith

Doubt is a stronghold on our lives, minds and realities. Lack of faith is doubt and doubt is like an absence of hope. An absence of hope leads to constant fear and anxiety. Doubt is the fear of the unseen. Faith is the belief in the unseen. The thing about the mind is we ultimately create our realities in our heads before we push it out into our immediate reality. We can stumble inevitably onto the path of least resistance which is the path that the doubt creates. The odd thing is you could just as easily choose to have faith in a situation that is unseen. Both circumstances are unseen good or bad, however it’s the feeling that comes first. When faith is more prevalent than doubt, a lot of time wasted in stressing and worrying is eliminated. When you are stress free, you tend to have much more clarity. You can create solutions rather than focus on problems. Life doesn’t stand still so don’t trap yourself in a miserable reality. Have faith and watch your reality shift.

Love

Love is a funny thing. It’s the most desired sought after phenomenon in life. Love is a strong feeling, a powerful one really. It is the biggest motivator and can even drive a person mad when it is lost. Love is one thing I haven’t mastered or ever experienced outside of love for self and plutonic love. However, I too desire love. Even though love is a feeling that comes from within, I desire external love to share myself love with and otherwise. Love however, is what you make it. We are all unique individuals, one size does not fit all. Love is taylored to who you are so you have to love yourself first before you allow anyone else in. So learn yourself and your reality and love that version of yourself and the rest shall follow.

Love,

Tori A.