The Aquarium and That F*#*'n Blue Light

Twin Flame...that word, I used to love it but now, somedays it feels like a prison sentence. Four years ago, I had never even heard of Twin Flames. In fact, if someone explained to me what it was; I would have laughed in their face. This Twin Flame journey is difficult, to say the least. I've had lots of relationships that are like an emotional rollercoaster. This, "twin flame" journey is like the teacups ride. At first it feels fun and like you are seeing the world from a whole new perspective. Then suddenly, you start feeling nauseous but when you try to even sit up there is a strong force holding you in place. Panic sets in as you realize you have no control over this experience. You can slightly change the direction by working very hard to "steer" the chaos. Then comes the puking. On one had you know you got to get it out, but you also know if you do it is going to end up all over your face. Which results in an extremely unpleasant experience; being forced to just hold the puke in your mouth. I was reluctant to discuss my twin flame story because I know how crazy it sounds. Especially to those unaware of the higher dimensions around us at all times. However, due to the challenges of this connection I decided my story needed to be shared to help others.

The following is a true story; names and places have been changed for privacy. During my dark night of the soul and then spiritual awakening, I started keeping a journal. In this piece I have included three entries from my dream journal, I am writing them here exactly the way they were written in real life.

09/17/2020

I'm at the Aquarium, the one where he manifested before my eyes, with the blue light shining on him. In my dream the aquarium is much bigger than it actually was and we (meaning Samuel and I) are just wondering around, observing the marine life. I feel uneasy, like someone is after us and someone is definitely watching us. Sam keeps trying to hold my hand and pull me off to a remote corner. He wants to get his hands everywhere; all over me in the frenzied, half-crazed way he always does. I keep telling him no and I push him away. (This never happened in real life with him, we are equally sex crazed.) I walk over to a room that has a huge observation window. Behind the window there are a bunch of little kids running around, ranging from 2-4 years old.

Then I see a small, black-haired boy who is about three years old. He has a huge smile and a mischievous look in his eye. A look that is very familiar to me from seeing it reflected back at me in an actual mirror and in my human mirror. Sam is my human mirror as vice versa because of the mirroring that happens in the Twin Flame connection. We both have that same up to no good look, coupled with a sweet smile. Sam comes up behind me as I am staring at the little boy playing. I cannot bring myself to look away from the lost boy. Sam puts his hand on the small of my back and whispers in my ear, "You know who that is, right?" I nodded to confirm that yes, I did know. I could feel it in my soul. I asked Sam "Can we take him with us?" He had tears in his eyes and said, "No, we can't ever take him from this place. In fact, we need to go. We are only allowed a certain amount of time to see him, through the window." I started getting very upset and I tried to run to the door of the room where he was being kept. Sam grabs me and pulls me back, saying "The officer who watches them is really strict. We have to follow his rules or he will try to take you too." I stopped dead in my tracks. Sam points inside the room when a male police officer comes into view. This is a mutual "friend" of ours in our awake, current life. He bends down and picks up OUR little one. He hugs him lovingly. The officer is looking at me and Sam over his tiny shoulder and smiles a huge, evil smile at us. Then I wake up crying my eyes out again, after another night wrestling with the 9 of swords.

Thoughts that popped into my head while I was journaling about this dream. "The ego is a fickle master. What works to feed and bolster it one day will then turn into the same thing that weighs us down." (Author Unknown) Ego vs. Soul; the stronger the ego the harder the awakening.

10/15/2020

In the dream, I wake up, naked in a room that is almost my bedroom but not. I get up out of bed and I am walking around the room getting clothes to put on. He is standing in the corner. He has a huge smile on his face. He is not the normal Sam, who I know and love, he is in his monster form. He is much bigger and green. It kind of reminds me of Blanca from the old 'Street Fighter' video game. He snatches the clothes I found out of my hands and gave me "the look". I know what he wants with that look. I turn to run and he grabs me, scratching my back as he spins me back around. He clutches me close to him and then laugh\growls. "I got you again". He laughs in an evil way as he tries to force himself inside me and that is when I woke up. I'm topless walking around my room, looking for a shirt. (I rarely sleep naked because what if there is a tornado.) I get dressed and try to go back to sleep. I look at the clock and it is 3:33am. The rest of that day I felt disoriented, upset, and very nervous. I kept hearing him laughing off and on throughout the day. I hate this monster I created in my mind, but I cannot believe that the true Sam could do what he did to me. It had to be a monster. When I took a shower, I had scratches on my back. A quote popped into my head after journaling: "Left in a highly overextended position you can end up wasting immense amounts of energy trying to do what you said or running away from situations you created." (Quote from Unknown Author)

12/12/2020

I can't remember the beginning of the dream. My memory kicks in when I am riding with my father to go to some sort of competition. We were driving to a place that is three hours away but we were taking the gravel roads for some reason. My phone kept ringing but the road was so bumpy that I couldn't answer it. I was finally able to get my voicemails and one of them was Sam. I couldn't make out what he was saying because I kept losing service. I could tell by his voice that it was something urgent. We reached our destination and it was a huge fancy building. When we walked in, I saw a long table set up right in front of a stage. My whole family was seated at the table. I am feeling very anxious about performing. The feeling I got was that it was a talent show similar to "America's Got Talent". I'm desperately going through my phone trying to save the number from Sam, but no matter how hard I try I cannot save it. I look up and see that there is a huge aquarium in the ceiling. It is a track going around the whole building. I could only see part of the aquarium because parts of it were blocked by the structure of the building. Then I see a huge shark going over me in the "aquarium track". It was way bigger than any shark in real life. I keep going up to people trying to get them to look up at the shark and they all just act like no big deal. I think to myself the predator hunting its prey. Next some guy walks up to me and says "Come with me. I have someone who needs to see you, now." I follow him and he takes me backstage where I see Sam. I'm shocked and freaking out on the inside. He is just staring at me and smiling. When we looked in each other's eyes I could feel our soul connection. In the dream I could feel the love through his eyes. He said, "I'm in, sweetheart, totally all in".

To find out more about my Twin Flame journey keep checking my vocal page. I will be publishing more of this series. Find out who the little boy is, what's the story with the police officer, what the blue light means and of course if Sam and I ever make it to union. I mean on the 3D, Earth plane, we are always in union on the Astral plain.