The Abandoned Kid

When you think of your childhood usually its not with dread and fear, mine was. I didn't have a steady childhood I was in and out of foster care from 3 years to 10. I remember the fear wasn't because I was scared of someone. No that came later. It was rather I was good enough or cute enough for a family to like me. Most of the time it was the constant worry about my siblings. See when my life changed forever it was hard to realize that the system, as scary as it is, was better than where I was. It all came to a boil in October of 1993.

However the problem started before then. My birth parent were physically abusive to each other and constantly called the cops. Then changed their minds and went right back to the same cycle. In 93 when the social worker came knocking, she found me. A 3 year old toddler with trash on the floor that had a huge hole. There was rats and roaches infested in that house and I was a 3 year old playing with trash and no parents watching me. Majority of the time however, I lived in a running car or tents. By the time my parents were 23 they had 4 kids and not one was in their custody. The social workers tried to help my parents from 93 until all rights were terminated August 25, 1999.

Ten years old and so tired of it that when the judge asked me what I wanted, I asked to be placed with someone else. In all those years of back and forth I had one constant my foster home. When the rights of my birth parents were terminated everyone assumed that the only family I knew would adopt me. It was a shock when they kicked me and one of my siblings out but kept the other two. For all those years they were my family and all my siblings as well. Come to find out they only wanted my twin brothers. My life started hard but it was that moment when the only two people that I ever knew as mom and dad decided to toss me out like trash, that's when I grew up. After that it was a hard lonely road full of anger and bitterness. I had some good families and some not so good. I made it though, I actually beat the odds. That's what I want to blog about, because I know there are so many kids out there who are scared and lonely with no where to turn. I'm here to hopefully be a light for you all. To tell you that you got this and if you ever need to talk I am here. I have a wonderful life full of joy and of course there are dark days just like for everyone. The joy outweighs the dark now and my crazy messy mom life is everything I didn't know I wanted. You WILL make it! Your not a statistic, your a beautiful human who deserves a brilliant life just like everyone. I see you, I hear you, I am here.

I will be back with more for y'all awesome people as soon as I can. Just remember the dark fades and the light wins. I love you all my brothers and sisters. You all have a wonderful destiny, do not let life beat you down. You make your own creation no one else has that power over your life but you.

"You are the artist of your own life, don't hand the paintbrush to anyone else." -Unknown

Your friend,

Bebe