Taming our Ego

Ego refers to a person’s sense of self-importance and self-esteem, what you think of your own self. Everybody has an ego and that plays directly into their character, actions, communication and their overall decision-making skills. This is one element of our lives which has far-reaching consequences which shape every single part of our entire being, thus the importance for us to understand what it is and how it works.

Ego is concerned with a person’s identity and personal significance, who you are, what you want to be are all engrained into your ego. Generally the term ego is used to refer to persons who have an inflated ego, but everyone literally has an ego, it just varies in its intensity. Ego development is a crucial aspect of human growth. It determines who you are and what you are capable of doing in your life. You can see practical examples all across the world. People with an inflated ego tend to push themselves to have great accomplishments, while persons with less ego tend to live a humble life. You can make a direct correlation between the level of ego a person has and what they accomplish in their life.

Social and cultural norms

Another aspect where ego plays a vital role is in the social and cultural norms, ego influences how we present ourselves, engage with others and navigate social hierarchies. Cultural norms and values shape how ego is perceived, while some cultures emphasize individual achievement leading to ego becoming much more inflated and rewarded, other cultures emphasize communal harmony leading to a decreased level of ego. The reason for this is that some cultures make individuals feel important and work to foster their individual importance. Some other cultures reduce ego by prioritizing the collective, leading to people thinking less of themselves and much more of the collective.

In our modern culture you can clearly see it in the glorification of wealthy individuals meanwhile the collective is neglected, that’s why our societies slowly become egocentric. When was the last time you saw a group of persons being glorified? It's always about this person doing something amazing or that person doing something amazing, leading everyone to seek to become that kind of person so that they can be glorified as well. The only way to become such a person is to inflate your ego, because if you don’t consider yourself more significant than everybody else, then how do you expect everyone to consider you important.

Ego is complex

Ego is a multifaceted concept that encompasses psychological, philosophical and social aspects. It plays a role of varying importance in the different aspects of our lives, and it is much more complex than just saying, you should have less ego or it's good or bad. It's a balance that you have to seek to find in every aspect of your life. For example on the job place you might require a high ego to get things done, meanwhile in your family the inverse is true, so it's a balance you have to find which is very complicated. When you don’t have enough ego, you might not be motivated to do anything at all, you could be disrespected and end up hurting yourself, conversely you could attract problems for yourself, accomplish great feats and much more.

The Manifestation of Ego

In our character it produces a sense of self-importance, arrogance, a need for validation, empathy and much more

Insecurity & Fragility: It might lead us to be defensive to criticism, self-doubt and fear of failure

Control & Manipulation: Ego makes us want more control which can lead to manipulative behaviors, dominance, power and superiority.

Comparison & Competition: we compare ourselves to each other, a competitive mindset which fosters jealousy and a constant need to prove ourselves

Ambitions: the importance you give to yourself determines the actions you are willing to take and how far you are willing to go to satisfy your ego

Combating Ego in Ourselves

Growing our ego is easy, you just have to think much more about yourself and how much you can do, so I’ll focus more on how you can combat ego.

Cultivating self-awareness: One thing ego takes away from you is a fair assessment of yourself and your abilities, the more it grows in you the more you tend to overestimate your abilities. You think you are capable of doing any and everything, so one way of decreasing your ego is to be self-aware and realizing the limits of what you are able to do.

Practicing humility: this involves recognizing and accepting your limitations and imperfections, This can be achieved through acknowledging others’ contributions, valuing diverse perspectives, and remaining open to learning. Humility fosters a more balanced self-view and improves relationships by reducing self-centeredness and enhancing empathy.

Developing empathy: Actively listening to others, validating their feelings, and considering their perspectives can help counteract ego-driven behaviors. Engaging in empathetic communication promotes understanding and connection.

Embracing a growth mindset: Adopting a growth mindset involves viewing challenges and feedback as opportunities for growth rather than threats to one’s self-worth. This perspective encourages resilience and adaptability. A growth mindset helps to mitigate the negative impacts of ego by focusing on continuous improvement and learning rather than fixed notions of self.

Conclusion

By cultivating self-awareness, practicing humility and empathy, and adopting a growth mindset, we can manage ego-driven behaviors within ourselves. Ego is a complex issue, it's important to acknowledge its impact in the various aspects of our lives and how we can balance its effects.