Secrets
what i'll never get to say. Top Story - October 2025.
i never exaggerated. i have trauma about telling my truth and being called a liar so we're gonna start here. every. single. thing. i told you happened, happened. some happened this year, last year, earlier. i told you that, too. but it all happened the way i said it did.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist3 months ago in Confessions
Worked for a Secret Government Unit — Until They Erased My Memory
I used to think secret government programs were just conspiracy theories. The kind of stories people post online to make themselves feel important. I laughed at those people once. I don’t laugh anymore.
By America today 3 months ago in Confessions
confessions of a madwoman
for about three months, i forgot how to write. i couldn't draw or do much of anything creative but nothing terrified me on such an existential level as forgetting how to write. see, i had a condition called serotonin syndrome, an artificial build-up of the happiness chemical in my brain and it almost killed me. no joke, look it up. that particular side effect (of a cocktail of medications including a migraine preventative that was the last to be replaced) is a mortality risk and a half and i was grappling with the consequences of it at the same time as an identity crisis caused in part by the only viable solution to serotonin syndrome: serotonergic cessation. no serotonin aids for weeks. around that time i started having seizures whenever i tried to engage my imagination. it was hell. it still hurts a little to wrench the words from my subconscious to the surface and i'm twitching a bit because of it, but i'm afraid if i don't start writing again i'll never get back into the habit and this year has cost me so much already. i lost my mind, my career, my identity, my libido, possibly my marriage, definitely my sense of safety, and at least one extremely good friend whose loss i'm not allowed to grieve except at my therapist and buried in the lines of prose i scream into the void. i am profoundly alone and simultaneously surrounded by people who love me and it is the most surreal experience of my life. i'm in the middle of a full-blown PTSD resurgence, blending childhood and adult traumas together into a nightmarish hellscape that overlaps reality like a superimposed photograph all. the. time. and i'm having some kind of midlife crisis regarding my spirituality but lack of religious belief that led me to start a cult (which i will definitely be linking to when i finish writing this because shameless self promotion is the modus operandi). but in my defense the model is terribly unprofitable because the point is to crowd-source the epiphany to the masses, which means free access to all. the most important bits of the philosophy are completely free, from the playlist augury (which you can use to listen to the will of the universe once you tune it to your channel, so to speak) to the three mantras (which guide everyday decisions in the moment) to the twelve principles (which guide overall values and morals). they play off each other to create an implication of further values, but lack the strict methodical proscription of religious dogma. alchemy doesn't care how you get there, or even what you call it. all that matters is that you serve the equilibrium, the balance of the universe, the source of the energy, or your God by doing good things that adhere to the principles and live according to the mantras. if you don't want to use the playlist augury, you don't have to. be hyperpresent in your own body and do something that feels good while you think about who you are and what your place is in the world. mine is behind a screen, ranting like a crazy person (because I am a crazy person) about my nervous breakdown, my new cult, my impending bankruptcy, my new name, my rock bottom, my activist art that no one buys (but they should, since i don't even get a piece of some of them, so there will be another link here), my marriage, my mother... pretty much anything. so when i forgot how to write, i've never been so scared of anything in my life.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist3 months ago in Confessions
Secret Letter
I never told anyone but Mark, an alter and Spiritual ground, what happened to me those first two years after brain surgery between 1998 and 2000. In the gentle year of the Rabbit (1999), a year after the surgery, I came in contact with the natural and kind demon known to Catholism as Michael. What had happend was small and uninteresting to the surface, but for the inside of my head, it was a war ready to be layered over and at the soft age of seven, forgotten about.
By Parsley Rose 3 months ago in Confessions
I Grew Up Screaming Misogynistic Lyrics — And Now I’m a Feminist Who Still Knows Every Word
When I was fourteen, my favourite song started with a beat that made me feel unstoppable. It was California by Hollywood Undead — loud, aggressive, confident, and so dripping in misogyny that it practically left a stain.
By No One’s Daughter3 months ago in Confessions
POV: I WISH I NEVER SAID YES
Chapter 1: Tuesday, 6:00 AM I woke up to my alarm screaming like it hated me. 6:00 AM. Another Tuesday. I groaned, rolled over, and slapped it silent. My mouth was dry. My brain foggy. I sat up and muttered, “Why do I do this to myself?”
By Roman B Jr.3 months ago in Confessions
The Duchess Without Direction: Inside Meghan Markle’s PR Confusion and Lost Purpose
When Meghan Markle first stepped onto the royal stage, she was seen as a breath of fresh air — modern, articulate, and determined to make a difference. Yet years later, the narrative seems to have shifted from promise to confusion. Insiders now describe her public journey as “directionless,” filled with random appearances and projects that lack the steady focus expected of a global figure.
By Norul Rahman3 months ago in Confessions
The Duchess and the Deal That Never Was: Inside Meghan Markle’s Rejected Fashion Dream
When Meghan Markle stepped into Paris Fashion Week, she looked every inch the modern duchess — graceful, confident, and ready to reclaim her space in the global spotlight. But behind the flashes of the cameras and the elegance of white couture, a quieter story was unfolding — one that revealed how even the most famous names can face closed doors in the exclusive world of high fashion.
By Norul Rahman3 months ago in Confessions
When Royal Titles Fade: The Hidden Truth Behind Meghan Markle’s Latest Step and the Windsor Reckoning
The world of royalty has always been built on ceremony, reputation, and the illusion of permanence. But what happens when those crowns begin to lose their shine — not because of scandalous headlines, but because the people beneath them are forced to face what power really costs?
By Norul Rahman3 months ago in Confessions
The Silence Breaks: What Meghan Markle’s Former Best Friend’s Cryptic Post Might Really Mean
Friendships often tell stories that the public never gets to see. Behind every famous face, there’s usually someone who knew them long before the fame, before the spotlight, before the filters of reputation. For Meghan Markle, that person was Ninaki Priddy — once her closest friend, travel companion, and even maid of honor at her first wedding. But after years of silence, Ninaki has broken the calm with a short but striking message online, and it has everyone talking.
By Norul Rahman3 months ago in Confessions
