Embarrassment
Are You Talking To Me?
These girls use to come more often. During the last few months of working there, I noticed they came less frequently. I always wondered why. One of them, a glamorous and classy high maintenance type—you know, with the Chanel bag, gel manicure, and hair always done perfectly—came more often than the other. She was a regular. They both were but Ms. Chanel, who styled her silky light brown hair in cohesive waves, was more of a regular than the other.
By Elle Kim5 years ago in Confessions
The Hook Up from Hell
It was 2009, I was 19 years old and visiting my sister at Chico State. I had a fake ID and it was $5 dollar pitcher night at Riley's Bar. We were drinking long island ice teas. This babe I had met prior had invited me over to her apartment as her roommates were out of town. I was wasted, like lazy eyes wasted. I knew I needed to sober up cause this babe was smokin' hot and we were headed to pound town. I went next door and slammed a whole burrito down from Taco's De in hopes to soak up the booze. I even committed to walking the half mile to her apartment to hopefully get more sober. I arrived to her apartment and we immediately went into her bedroom and started to make out on her bed. The room was dark, like I couldn't see much at all. My stomach started rumbling and I quickly felt it turning. I was hoping it was just some big old fart that I could hold in and pass gas in the bathroom later. Unfortunately, that tacos de California burrito had a mind of its own that night and decided it wanted to have its own kind of party in my stomach. I tried my best to ignore my stomach noises and I kept making out with the hottie. My stomach pain continued and got so bad that I knew something unthinkable was about to happen. I told her to hang on for a second and got off the bed, but I knew my stomach wasn't going to hold on much longer. I couldn't make it to the bathroom cause the room was so dark and I couldn't locate the door. Luckily I found the window, a sigh of relief went through me until I couldn't open it. I figured it was probably open so I hoped to throw up out the window. Turns out it definitely wasn’t open was locked closed. Moments later I began to projectile vomit everywhere... and I mean everywhere you can imagine. The ceiling, window, floor, her jewelry box, cd player, clothing, bed, my clothes, everything was covered. But things were not over quite yet. I managed to find the door, ran to the bathroom where I just absolutely destroyed her toilet with explosive diarrhea and then proceeded to clog it. And yes, it was everything you are imagining right now, the sounds of explosiveness and just all around a situation you do not want to be in. I figured that everything had to be pretty much out of my system at this point. So now, there I was, standing in her bathroom with my vomit all over me and a never ever seen before clogged up diarrhea toilet in this girls bathroom. I was absolutely mortified to say the least. I quickly stripped out of my clothes into boxers, and she forced me to help her clean the vom. It was the least I could do so we cleaned it up. I apologized over and over and she still invited me to still spend the night. I appreciated the invitation but I kindly passed, walked back to my sisters in my boxers and puke clothes in hand. I showered and decided to head back to the bars to try to forget what happened. What a absolute blow out of a night this was- in more ways than just one. Fast forward to today, we live in the same small town and I run into her and her family pretty much on a regular basis. However, I know she’s still down to hook up!
By Rob catelli 5 years ago in Confessions
Boo!
I once owned a small dog named Boo. Boo was a quite small long haired dachshund with blue eyes and I, being not large myself, decided we were a good fit. During the early days of becoming acquainted, I discovered that Boo had a playful side. Among the games he enjoyed was grabbing any of my clothes to which he had access and running through the rooms, presumably so that I would give chase. Boo enjoyed this game more than I.
By Bonnie Allen5 years ago in Confessions
You Didn't Know
I’d know him my whole life. Well, not my whole life, but since I was 13, and how much of your life is really your life before that point? We were star athletes, make you laugh out loud funny, witty kids for whom good grades came easy. Confidence bordering on arrogance – well, more so him than me. But we were unicorns, the both of us – well, me more so than him. We had kissed, maybe more on occasion as we got older, but never dated. We had a chemistry of a quirky nature. Always flirty and fun smiles, but based in the comfort of true friendship. I think it worked because neither of us was someone that the other would want a real relationship with, and you don’t ever have to be anything other than yourself with someone you are never going to be with. We maintained a quiet closer friendship than our distant, public one. As we got older, we would go years without seeing each other. There was never a void when the absence of the other would loom, rather always an assured knowing (without ever thinking about it) in the back of our minds that our paths would cross again.
By Crystal Jae5 years ago in Confessions
I Have to Tell People I'm a Bodybuilder and When I Do They Laugh
The following story isn't about bodybuilding success or some kind of before and after tale of personal triumph. It's a confession, an embarrassing admission of repeated failure, dissected here for catharsis. It is also the timeless love-hate saga we all have with our bodies, with exercise, with ourselves.
By Jamie Jackson5 years ago in Confessions
"Guest shouldn't bring guests"
I was walking along the river in search of some free therapy. The sun was high in the sky signifying noon. The weather was still warm in spite of it being the middle of October. I happened upon a large mostly flat stone and decided to set up my afternoon picnic and chill session there. It was covered by brush on one side and provided a clear view all the way to the other side of the river, where I could see California buckeye, sticky manzanita, and buttonbush growing in district layers of natural excellence.
By Alysia Sanders5 years ago in Confessions
The Salad and The Pantyhose
I hate pantyhose! I hate salad! Ever since I was little, I never understood having to put your legs into see-through sleeves or eating what looked like tree leaves. What are you trying to hide if they’re transparent? Probably whatever the salad is meant to help with, I imagine. Whenever I could and wherever I could, I did everything I could not to wear “the hose” or est salad.
By Ewa Ritchie5 years ago in Confessions
Trial by Spew and Sputum. Top Story - April 2021.
Vaccinations In light of our modern pandemic-culture and discourse around vaccines, I thought it appropriate to share a relevant story of my own experience. I think back to this memory when I consider the anxiety I cultivated for the next decade, and all difficulties I have had with other vaccinations, blood tests or simply the word ‘needle’. This story describes a defining moment in my teenage years and was a generally awful experience. Don’t fret, it has a happy ending.
By Wray_written5 years ago in Confessions
What's That Smell?
While I could probably fill volumes with embarrassing moments at my age, we all have that one that happens to us early in our lives that sticks with us forever. For me, this event occurred when I was fifteen years old, and still makes me cringe myself inside out remembering it to this day. So why not put it in a public forum?
By Jennifer Gulbrandsen5 years ago in Confessions
The Red Dress Betrayal
The year was 1992, and I was a sophomore in high school. I had been dating Craig (not his real name) for about a year at that point. Our first year together had been exciting and it started off with a date at our school’s Winter Prom. It was now a year later, and we were preparing to go to our second Winter Prom together.
By Nicole Colwell5 years ago in Confessions
Guess That Noise
When I saw this challenge, I got excited. Really excited. Now this is a challenge I stand a chance at winning, I thought. I am a professional at embarrassing moments, putting my foot in my mouth etc. I had so many stories to write about I didn't know which one to start with. What about the time I was wearing high heels and somehow slipped on the sidewalk and slid as if on a snowboard for almost a meter in front of a line-up of people waiting for the bus only to fall over at the beginning of the line with my backpack over my head. What about the time I was doing one of my first flights as a flight attendant ever and forgot that my retractable jumpseat at the front of a very small, yet full of passengers airplane, would retract if I didn't hold it down and I fell back into the airplane door with my feet up in the air as I tried to sit down? Or the other evening when I entered a school PTA Zoom meeting yelling at my kids to stop playing and eat their dinners, forgetting to mute my mic (I left that meeting quick and probably won't be attending the next few).
By Isabelle Dumais5 years ago in Confessions
