Embarrassment
Renovation Remorse
People often question what price tag they would sell their dignity for. Apparently mine is $750/week - That's how much a portable toilet and shower hire costs. While getting my bathroom renovated, it became the ultimate battle between keeping money in my pocket by not hiring, or basically mooching bathroom facilities for an estimated 3-5 weeks from a range of sources. These would include unknowing caravan parks, near-freezing coastal beach showers, reigniting old friendships and suggesting prolonged sleep overs at their home, as well as knocking on the door of old roommates and even ex work colleagues. I obviously went for the mooching option and kept that sweet, cash in the pocket. Some call it being a stingy/using bitch - I call it being a money mogul.
By Rozo5 years ago in Confessions
All Eyes On Me
Wakin' up in the morning, thinkin’ about so many things… I begged my brain to let it be a dream. Trying to figure a way through the damp feeling of incessant mortification that loomed ahead of me, and now trickled down my legs. Though it was impossible. I had made my puddle and now I had to play in it.
By Grace Ma5 years ago in Confessions
An apology to my primary school nurse, my best friend, and the guy I had a crush on.
When it comes to embarrassing moments there are few things more dramatic than fainting. As a prolific fainter, I know. I’m not here to say that fainting itself is embarrassing because it’s a perfectly normal response to many situations. Until it’s not… What is embarrassing has so much more to do with the situations that I’ve fainted in and the poor people that I have fainted on. So, in an open apology to those people, the very kind bystanders, friends and medical personnel, I will outline my most dramatic fainting stories here: There was the first of many run ins with needles, the time my best friend got her ears pierced (yes you read that right, my friend, not me), and the fateful incident in second year university when I was discussing statistics with the guy I had a crush on.
By Jeanie Mae5 years ago in Confessions
Laughter Creates Memories for a Lifetime
Growing up I wasn't one to laugh much. My mom was the strict, OCD women who believed in true perfection. My dad the polar opposite was more of the go with flow kind of guy. Laughter wasn't really introduced till my later adult years. When I learned that just laughing things off, really helps you not freak out. There have been many embarrassing moments in my life where I have told my friends to scrape my pride off the floor with a spoon, if they can find it. Or I have told them to look down a stair case or hall way to see if my lungs fell out my butt on the way up. These are just some of the little funny things I say just to make people smile. Laughter creates memories, that you can always use at anytime. You start it like this, remember the time and some moments you cant even get the story out with out laughing through it. And by the time you laugh about that moment, you don't even have to finish the story because the laughter helped that moment pass. The funniest moment in my life there are two great ones that, some may think is funny but to me and my friends its a khloe memory. Yes embarrassment was at my expense on one situation and the other not so much me. But to witness that moment will stay in my mind forever. When people die we fail fail to remember the funny moments when we are so sad. I hope that when I die they will remember the day I ran for the bus and wiped out, or the fact that they cant look at chocolate pudding the same way again. Let me explain. Me and my girlfriend (needs) decided a mall trip to meet up with friends for much needed laughter was in store. What they didn't realize that the laughter would be at my expense. On the way out the mall (needs) and I were running for the bus. I had been a runner, a pretty quick one at that, and decided to hold on to the back of her power wheel chair. Well little did I know she could do 90 in a 60. As she speeding up, I no longer could keep up to speed and then learned what it was like to fly. I landed on the ground with arms spread out on my back and as needs swings around in shock, cause she no longer hears me, all felt was a tug. She whips over to me in fear and what see does not see was not what she expected. I am laughing hysterically at this point and I cant get up. Not because I'm hurt or anything but because I'm laughing so hard. I then use her wheelchair to get me up and tell her to find my pride and now we are WALKING to the bus stop. She then asked me "are you sure your head is ok"? I said yup those extensions were worth every penny, they saved my life" she said "right on" and we walked off laughing and giggling all the way home. This laughter stayed with us for years still friends and still making fun of my hair extensions. Even going as far to say if I put new ones in make them thick, because you never know when Khloe will drop it like its hot!" See friends are so great to have to remind you of those moments that weren't so smooth to just spark some laughter. Especially through tough times. Like for instance an episode when I went with (needs) to the hospital to be there for my dad who was in pretty bad shape. Being there all day we worked up an appetite and decided to go down to the cafe. I bought multiple items but there is one item that will stay in our minds forever. I was full, so I gave my chocolate pudding to (Needs) and our other sister was with us and she was talking a lot which is her norm. but as needs is taking a big scoop of her chocolate pudding and it is already in her mouth, our sister loudly says a word in Spanish which i can not share, due to being respectful of others, and the pudding comes flying out of (needs) mouth and nose. Picture this, I am sitting across from her in a white shirt, (needs) is laughing so hard pudding was everywhere on her hands, the wheelchair, the table, her shoes, and I am asking my sister for the wipes, but she couldn't get them.. I look over the table and Missy is on the floor laughing her butt off. Looks like I was getting the wipes. That wasn't the only funny part about it I felt bad for the poor doctors and nurses around us, eating there lunch, one person looks like they can't eat right and the other looks like she needs a psych ward and I'm the one trying to clean them both up. Its moments like these I live for you have to laugh through tough times. News flash just in life isn't going to be perfect or easy all the time. We cant control how others treat us and how mean the world is. But we can look at situations and control our reaction. Most times I don't stress, I just laugh things off and my friends don't think of me as rude, they know that when stressed I laugh, especially at work, as a peer worker. Laughter is the best medicine, It does help you chill and most of all everyone loves a laugh even if its at your expense. It also hold a treasure you can carry for a lifetime. THE END
By Jessica Ferreira 5 years ago in Confessions
No regrets - Well maybe
So, there I was, it was summer about 27 degrees and hot as hell in the kitchen. It was a busy lunch at the cattle grid we had over 50 covers. I was mainly over the grill the worst place to be on a day like today sweating profusely. I was tired and grouchy, and the head chefs taste in music was shit, house music, boring as fuck. Anyway, so I had had 2 steaks come back complaining they were overdone when I checked them they were perfect, customers really pissed me off hence the reason I was not front of house. I re did them bloody and the customers seemed happy but what a fucking waste of food. I’ll save them for the dogs later. The afternoon carried on getting worse for some reason our front of house system kept sending the wrong orders. We recooked so much meat that we could have built a house with what we were going to throw away. By this point I was furious and snapping at anyone who dared speak to me. The final straw came when a dainty little waitress named Greta came up to me and asked if I could cut the steak up for the customer.
By Owen Cochrane-milne5 years ago in Confessions
Stray balls, and missed shots.
There are a hundred and one ways to lose a ball in a housing estate. The most common among them being in a tall tree, on a rooftop, to a ball thief, an angry resident, and in some cases the train tracks. I’ve lost balls to all of the above. I’ve also been a ball thief myself, but only with stray balls. I’ve been able to retrieve mine from some of these places as I got older. However, the trees had no shortage of weak branches, and the train tracks had no shortage of homeless people, and trains. If you were lucky enough you’d come across an old one in a game of football and chance your arm at getting it back, but if you’re like me then your ball won’t have your name written anywhere.
By Jordan Lee5 years ago in Confessions
Doo-Doo Pants
No regrets are said more often than any two words combined that I know off. That expression of “No Regrets” simplicity acts as a lighthouse for when seas are both stormy and calm. It’s a simple, but also complicated message that in an eerie way gives us some sort of courage to push through.
By Yakubu Isah5 years ago in Confessions
Egg Head
This story takes place at a very confusing point in my life. I was in my awkward teen years when the height of my beauty routine was twisting the front of my hair back and pinning on the top of my head with my favourite turquoise butterfly clip. Despite being fashionably challenged, I desperately wanted to look gorgeous. I wanted to be one of those ‘it’ girls in the magazines that knew how to wear oversized sunglasses in the shape of love hearts, without looking like they were playing dress-ups. More importantly, I wanted to attract a boyfriend. A real boyfriend. One that would be the Romeo to my Juliet.
By cassie rogers5 years ago in Confessions
First Impressions
That woman in the picture is me, Shantel. I am the new female security guard for vastly growing security business. This night I was assigned to work at a luxury apartment building off located Broadway. 12 hour shifts from 7:00 pm until 7:00 am. I was excited and proud of myself for finally getting a good job with benefits, pride, and the pay was definitely an upgrade as well. Before Heading off to work from my home 25 minutes away I quickly ate dinner. I was very careful not to get any of the home-made enchiladas on my new uniform. I knew all 3 of my bosses would be there for the first half of my shift to make sure equipment and the rounds all ran smoothly. I had only met one of them because he was the one that hired me, and could not wait to make a great first impression on the other two. Finishing up the food I took a look in the mirror once more before heading off to work. Feeling confident and in a great mood singing to my playlist all the way there. I park my car in the designated parking and gather my stuff. Walking up to the garage elevator a different feeling suddenly hit me. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all. My stomach started making these random noises that sounded like an animal crying for help, must just be nerves. I thought to myself as I went up one floor to meet my bosses in the lobby of the apartments. Pull it together I told myself as the elevator doors opened. I put on a winning smile and walked out trying to ignore the fact that I was feeling sick. The three bosses met me half way in the middle of the lobby. Shaking hands and making introductions I asked if I could use a restroom before we started the walk thru. They directed me to the public bathroom just around the corner from where they were standing. I turned and tried to quickly rush off before my stomach started with the noises again. I was about 2 and a half steps away from disappearing around the corner when all of a sudden it happened. I let out the loudest most nasty sounding fart I had ever witnessed let alone created. The fart propelled me forward a little bit as I ran through the door and quickly into a bathroom stall. I didn’t even have time to completely sit before even louder gas followed by... well let’s just use medical terms explosive diarrhea. Just when I thought the worst part was over more seemed to happen. I am not to sure of how long the whole thing actually lasted but to me, my stomach, and other parts it felt like a life time. Finally the pains and the wired noises stopped. I was feeling better when I realized that I could hear my bosses laughing hysterically. If I could hear them laughing they definitely heard everything that went on. I was so embarrassed. I washed my hands and decided to text my hiring boss giving him an explanation. Mid sentence my phone goes off it’s my boss the text read “We hope everything is okay in there, it sounded pretty rough. Did you eat something that didn’t agree? Either way no need to be embarrassed it happens to all of us. If your okay we can start the walk thru”. I answered back “ok here I come” and walked out of the bathroom only this time not so confident. As I opened the door I spotted several little kids around 5-6 years old and two mothers running up headed for the restroom. I tried to get far enough away, so the kids or mothers would not know who was responsible for the smell. Walking quickly I hear all of them in unison say “GROSS!!” Followed by one of the kids saying “what is that smell? It smells worse then when grandpa uses our bathroom.” They exited faster then they entered gasping for fresh air. My bosses once again are laughing hysterically at the comments made by the kid. Which paused our progress away from the area. One of the kids pointed at me and said “ It was her she did it!” The other children and the moms gave me these unapproving looks that said everything with out saying a word. I could feel my bossy temperature rising and my face getting hotter and turning red. By now my bosses we laughing so hard they were almost crying and I just wanted to run away and never come back. Finally moments later we were able to do the walk thru with out incident. After all equipment was checked and a second set of rounds completed, they were finally ready to leave me alone to do my job. I walked them out of the building as the went over last minute things they forgot to tell me. As they got into their separate cars the main boss yelled back to me “By the way Shantel, don’t worry about that rough start okay. I just want you to know your going to do great you really blew us all away!” I have been working there for almost a year and still get teased for the best first impression ever.
By Shantel Spiekerman5 years ago in Confessions
Memoirs of a Clumsy Girl: Sandals and Staircases
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you stop and go huh, how did I manage this? Even after time as passed, the question still pops up and you still aren’t quite sure? Those are the moments that make the unforgettable memories… even if you wish they could be.
By Dianne Crompton5 years ago in Confessions
