Bad habits
Lustful desire
After being in this so called love industry, I have had a lot of testimonies. There was positive and negative moments, but I would like to dwell on the negatives because they carry the bigger percentage. Whenever I see a rose flower I always think of Rose that African woman with a coca cola shape black beauty with protruding hips. I mean Rose was that girl I used to dream of. Meeting her for the first time in the streets of Nairobi felt like someone I knew from wayback. I remember very well meeting her for the first time at chicken Inn opposite Kenya archives Tom Mboya Street. It was around 6.45pm she had a red dinner dress and I can't explained what happened but I fell for her, I know it sounds weird but that's what happened; I had no control over it. I gathered all the courage in the world knowing very well that I would be rejected but that didn't scare me I had experienced a lot before. "hey what's up how are you doing" I tried shooting my shot but she didn't reply she didn't even give me an eye but as an African man with knowledge of dealing with this gender I didn't give up. "I just wanted to say hi since you look familiar but now you ain't interested. can I give you a ride" "a ride? ofcourse why not you have a car? I am Rose by the way sorry I didn't talk to you earlier" and then I was there in deep thought wondering, so she decides to talk to me because I spoke of a ride. Lakini wasichana wa Nairobi ni funny. At this point I had enough room and flexibility to push my agenda. "What is a beautiful girl like you doing here at this time, waiting for someone?" "yee...sss.. No no actually I'm waiting for no one" Believe me or not Rose was waiting for her boyfriend for a dinner date but she decided to deny anything related to that. Now since it was on a Friday and you know how we do it in Nairobi during weekends, we got into my Mercedes E650 and drove our way to Quivers Lounge to get the party started. I didn't ask questions since I knew Rose was just like the other girls in Nairobi who like clubbing. At this point I knew very well I had done 75% and that this girl was already locked in my box. It was not the first time I did this, every Fridays I used to pick random ladies from town and pull the same stand of going to club and taking them to my house after and the rest was history.
By Brian Martins2 years ago in Confessions
It's Part of My Testimony
I woke up around 4am and used the bathroom. My stomach was growling. I ate a salad for dinner so It was pretty light. The first thing came to my mind was I hope Madelyn isn't hungry. She's a toddler and I'm an adult and her portion was heavier than mine but she's a baby. Sometimes I wonder if I'll be able to feed her eventhough we get foodstamps every month. Cause of our diet it doesn't really last. I wish we could go to Dallas or Boston because those are the only places I submitted applications for housing. Other than that I'm trying to see what money I have to invest into something to create more money. I have about $300 coming in a month. I also have two ideas outside the youtube channel. My affirmation cards and the money binder, but I can't run a business out of a business because we're in temporary housing. So I'm putting all my energy into my youtube channel and I've seen significant increase in followers it's just not monetized yet. When I cry in front of her she tells me to breathe and its going to be ok but of course she doesn't understand my worry. To not be able to feed your child. That literally breaks my heart cause I been the one handing out food at the pantries to other moms. Lord knows I need clothes and comfortable shoes because I hurt my foot and my ankle is swollen. Having diabetes doesn't help it either. Being a victim is not for me, but sometimes i don't know how I'm going to do all of this. Child support and court I rather not for my own sanity but neither is struggling. I rather depend on God anyway, he always come through. Worrying doesn't help either, I'll just fast so my child can eat. Writing this really breaks my heart because I'm usually the giver, but I sinned. My daughter is a BLESSING & I love my daughter but I have so many regrets I can't seem to let go of. Like coming back to my hometown after having a successfull career out of town. That ruined my life but I also feel like my faith is bigger than my downfalls. Finding the strength is what's keeping me grounded. Letting Go of all the past has put me in a position to start from scratch in my life. The worrying has to be let go of, that doesn't solve anything. Imagine waking up with all this on your mind as a parent. Financial security is one of thee only things I think of when it comes to her. I haven't even wrote a poem lately because I can't get into my creativity. Were trying to find a home in a decent area. Managing this low income and taking care of a growing toddler with no one to depend on. Jesus! Times like this I just keep my head high cause one thing I'm not doing is quiet quitting or giving up on her. It's really hard to change my thoughts but I know it'll get better. He didn't bring me this far to give up on us. Three years in by myself. Since I'm staying in a temporary shelter, focusing on quality time and hugs is going to get us by. I'm promising my child that once I get out of here it's up. This story is going to be part of my testimony. I know I can. I can, I can, I can. Have to plug that affirmation in my brain. We lost everything, but material things can be replaced. On my life I know this season won't go in vain.
By I Am Sav Renee2 years ago in Confessions
pilot. Content Warning.
In the tumultuous landscape of Lamar's life, the struggle for survival began long before he could even comprehend its implications. From the earliest days of his existence, he was thrust into a world where adversity loomed large, casting shadows that threatened to engulf his very soul. Born into a reality shaped by violence and neglect, Lamar's journey was one marked by hardship and heartache, yet also by moments of profound resilience and unwavering hope.
By lamar breaux2 years ago in Confessions
the fall of hope . Content Warning.
In the heart of a weathered neighborhood, where the sun seemed hesitant to shine and the streets whispered tales of hardship, there lived a boy named Lamar. His name carried echoes of hope, yet his story was woven with threads of adversity and resilience. From the moment he entered this world, Lamar's innocence was both a blessing and a burden, a light that flickered defiantly in the face of darkness.
By lamar breaux2 years ago in Confessions
Only By Chance
I'd managed to get a decent rest and wake slowly, my eyes adjusting to the later morning light and my mind free of overbearing, scattered thinking swirling around in my skull as it certainly does at times. Last night I tossed and I turned for quite some time before smoking a joint made up of scrapes of tobacco from the fireplace shelf and stems of weed snapped and broken up into a smokable product. I chewed another half a pill along with it, enough to cause a temporary numbing effect, and after finishing the remainder of wine I managed to doze into a restful slumber. I stirred a morning coffee from the jar I'd been given by the help service that offers food and toiletries and bus tickets, those sorts of things for people in need. There was no kettle in my room and no kitchen for us to use, so I made a lukewarm coffee with hot water from the bathroom tap. Returning to my room from the wet street outside where I'd smoked two cigarettes I fell into a state of unwanting. My consciousness told me I had to play guitar and I ignored it for a moment. It told me I needed to write down a line that I'd just thought of and I ignored that too. I decided I needed to do nothing at all except simply watch the drizzling of rain fall from the clouded view of the sunlight-struck windows in my upstairs room. To pause and observe the supposed necessities that my brain conjured up, when all that was needed was to be, brought peace. It was becoming quite obviously easier to sit with myself and allow myself to be present, right here in the heart of life where nothing peculiar or spectacular occurred. Many days in the past week since I'd arrived I had enjoyed people watching in the way my Mother had taught me. This, and watching the birds and feeling the sun and thinking of the clouds and reading a book and tasting the wine, all things I could do, to be. I am here.
By Michael O'Connor2 years ago in Confessions
The Art of Persistence: A Journey of Resilience and Redemption
In a town nestled between rolling hills and whispering forests, there lived a man named Jacob. Jacob was a dreamer, his mind forever wandering between lofty ambitions and fleeting desires. He was a man of many passions, dabbling in various pursuits with enthusiasm but lacking the steadfast dedication to see them through.
By Inye Moses2 years ago in Confessions
The love ended before it started.
Once upon a time, in a cozy little town nestled among rolling hills, there lived a woman named Evelyn. Evelyn was a kind and gentle soul, with a heart as big as the ocean and a smile that could light up even the darkest of days. She had known love once, a love that had swept her off her feet and filled her world with joy and laughter. But as fate would have it, that love had turned sour, leaving Evelyn broken and bruised.
By Inye Moses2 years ago in Confessions
Grading My Life
I have been working in the education field for over 10 years. In these ten years I have gained so much experience as well as the personal satisfaction that comes with helping students achieve their goals. The proud achievements of my students is something that I celebrate with other co-workers and of course the students and their families. This quarter I received a thank you from a student who wanted me to know that she couldn’t have done it without my help. This thank you got me thinking about myself and my life. I was able to help a student reach her goals and get her self-esteem up in a couple of months, and yet in my own personal life I was letting myself down each day. If my life were to be scored with a grade, I don’t believe I would be celebrating.
By Lily2 years ago in Confessions
The Egg Comes Before The Chicken. Content Warning.
In the ageless inquiry of what started things out, the chicken or the egg, the discussion keeps on charming personalities and mix interest. While the inquiry appears to be straightforward, its suggestions dig profound into science, reasoning, and even religious philosophy. Shockingly, present day science offers a convincing response: the egg went before the chicken. We should unwind this deep rooted secret and investigate the interesting bits of knowledge it offers.
By Kazi Hasebul Hasan Naime 2 years ago in Confessions
When Secrets Collide (Emphasizes the clash between infidelity and reality)
Rain lashed against the bookstore window, blurring the world outside into a watercolor wash of grey. Inside, Clara, nestled amongst towering shelves, felt a pang of claustrophobia that mirrored the secret suffocating her. Her phone buzzed, a silent notification on the screen. It was a single word: "Meet me. Usual."
By Nada soliman2 years ago in Confessions
