Sweetheart to Sweet Pain

This is going back 14 years.

Just finishing GCSE'S, I was in the field with my best friend at the time and I randomly got introduced to my class mates cousin from across the school gates. He was on the 'bigger' side, acne on his face, and dressed in American-style clothing.

I did not know what to think of it, my first question was 'really?'. We exchanged numbers and I, for one did not have a mobile phone so it was difficult to explain that to a guy who thought it was very liberal for me to accept his number.

We spoke, with a strict bedtime routine of calling on my mother's phone with the excuse that having an alarm clock was very important for me. One missed call to his number and he called right back, now that was commitment. This went on for few years within that time he purchased a mobile phone for me with his first wage and it was amazing. It was new.

Fast forward a year or so, I started working at a hospital with pediatrics, I loved the thought of children and babies, having a big family. It was local to where he lived and one day I got introduced to his mother, father, brothers and sisters. Did they ask how on earth is my family ok with all this? yes, they did but being young and naive there was no correct answer. All I knew was my parents were not going to accept him, because he didn't have a full- time job, he didn't own a house, he didn't have a degree. I mean he was around 19 still living at his parent's house. Typical in a South Asian household.

I regularly went around his house, we lost our flowers together and (his mum wasn't pleased) got to know that yes, we are meant to be. Unfortunately, it went downhill when that exact friend, who introduced us together, his own mother decided to plant an unforgivable conversation to my mother on the phone... did you know your daughter has been having sex outside? did you know that? What type of Mother are you?. Come on, I could have easily told his mum about the sexist things he did but I wasn't that type of person to ruin someone's life.

Now I remember that day as if I haven't relived it even after 14 years. I was upstairs and my mother called me down, looked me dead in the eyes, and said is this correct what I am hearing? ( she was still on the phone by the way ) and I panicked (being Muslim in a South Asian household) NO! NEVER! SHES LYING!.

I was the one who lied. I lied about having sex at 17 years of age and planning to marry that one person I got to know over three to four years, and his family totally accepting me. It wasn't good enough.

The Only option for my parents was to marry me off. Here we go.