There were nights where I laid in bed wondering how I was ever going to make it through this. How I was going to make it through losing you. I can’t remember anything but ever loving you wholeheartedly, for so many years that’s what I have engraved inside my head, heart and bed it was you, it was your name. Now I’m stuck with all these memories scattered around on my floor trying to glue them back together. But it isn’t working, the glue is broken just like we were always destined to be. It’s another night and I stare outside the window looking at the sky and understand the meaning of the universe laughing at you. Because it has always happened to me I just never realized it until you, until you came into my life. Loving you was like a whirlwind and a calm sea at the same time. You took me by surprise, I never even thought that I would love you like I did but you ended up stealing my heart, body and soul. Now I am here and you are gone you are with her and all that I’m left with is the hurt. Another tear falls from my eyes and my mascara draws a line on my face and stains the pillow once again with all the other stains that were left from before. I don’t know or understand how we got to where we are now, all I know is that living without you has been hell on earth. Each day I get through I tell myself that I am healing and it’s another day I am learning to be without you. I think to myself that it doesn’t seem fair that I am here with thoughts and memories of us and you are living your life freely with her. I lay here begging to forget you and everything we ever did but I know that would kill me if I erased every memory I ever had of you. There would always be this sinking feeling in my soul knowing there was something missing. I would search for it all my life. Kinda like now how I search for you in everyone. Does he do that like you, does he wear the same cologne as you? Will his kiss feel like yours? Will I crave his touch as much as I crave yours? I will never find another you, you were my person and for a long time I had you, but you were never really mine all those years were you? You were something borrowed, we were a moment in time. I don’t know how to live in a world where everything that you love gets stripped away. The months go by so fast but living in the time it seems like eternity without you. I look up at the calendar and can’t believe how long I have gone without your touch. I always thought if you were best friends first you would last, but just like love, you showed me that it doesn’t ever really last. I know that when I am old and laying on my bed nearing death I know that it will be you, the last and final thing that crosses my mind before I take my final breath and leave this mortal world. Every memory that we shared, every crease of your smirk, every flash of the way the sun caught your green eyes. I will remember every touch that I stole, moments that we snuck away to soak up in each other. Cause thats all they were stolen moments. I remember when I finally was able to wake in to the morning light with you. Falling asleep in your arms was the best feeling. Waking up to you beside me was even better. It was short lived but it was just that…amazing, just like you.
About the Creator
Rachel Elisabeth Revell
hello my name is Rachel, I was told abou this page from a great friend and I found it interesting because I love writing poetry, I love anything horror. I find that writing out things is ver therapeutic. I hope y’all enjoy what I share
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Seasons change
Last night I dreamt we were together, a thousand nights and one forever. We were wearing silver lovers lost in the secrets of each other. Now, The sky has gone grey since you haven’t been around. We’re enemies, lovers not friends. I'm trying to be strong but I've been hanging by a thread. Colors don’t seem the same, not as bright and vivid as before. The sheets on my bed seem colder, there’s no warmth left there. Your memory follows me and I can't hide It hurts not being with you anymore. It's not as easy as out of sight out of mind It's not as easy as leaving it all behind In everything there's a string that's still tied. I lay in my bed and thoughts of you explode inside my head. I look over to the other side where there is a sunken shape and I see you there smiling and talking, moving over to kiss me. I still feel your light kiss on the back of my neck just like it was yesterday. My heart starts to hurt parts are gone and twisted and you’re the puzzle piece that fits and sews up the hole that’s left. You’re everywhere except right here. A tear slips down from my eye, it falls to the pillow, my mascara stains a spot on the white pillow case where your head once laid. Sometimes I think I still smell your scent on my sheets. I sink into the pain until it’s all gone. I close my eyes and it almost feels like you are here, I picture you holding me and we’re making love, we always did that so well. I wish that I could live my life and not look back A part of me will always be wherever you're at But it's hard to move on when you love somebody like that. So much has happened since the last time I saw you. I’m taking pictures again, I didn’t realize how much I missed it. I’m going out more, spending time with my friends. Im laughing and smiling again, I didn’t think I would after us. I’m starting to write, I am getting over that block that I had. I’m working out and taking care of my mind, body and soul and it’s showing. Im trying new foods, stuff I didn’t think I ever would try. I walk outside and feel the sun on my face and it’s warm I stop and take a deep breath it reminds me of your touch. Sometimes when I am out somewhere i hear someone in the distance call out and I turn my head cause they sound like you. I catch a scent and it reminds me of the time when you were with me. Everyone looks like you from a far off distance, I almost ran up to someone the other day but then I stopped. Been seeing someone new but I'm not over you yet It's strange not being with you anymore. Every time that I try to move on you’re with me Every day every night you're in everything. There's a piece of my heart that is still missing And the time ain't healing anything. Time move forward and The flowers are no longer in bloom, the leaves have fallen from the trees and it’s turned cold here. Seasons have come and gone. The summer, spring, to fall and snow shows me that there really is beauty in change. Cause baby you’re a gambler and I’m the ace of spades. We fight til the end, we never back down.
By Rachel Elisabeth Revell3 years ago in Poets
Thoughts on Vocal and the way the world is
"Death cannot stop true love, only delay it." – Wesley in The Princess Bride. I decided to come back to Vocal on a very cold and dark night at the end of December. I had been, and still am, convalescing from a horrible staph infection that had gone misdiagnosed for months. This, paired with the increasing challenges of being healthy, making the best choices for my co-parented child, being a wife, and being a director at a new job, was a lot to manage.
By Jazzy 7 days ago in Confessions
Two girls, one library, and a hunger for worlds beyond your own—Last part
🌙 “How could I have forgotten all of this?” Because life pulls us in a thousand directions. Because adulthood layers over childhood like sediment. Because pain, distance, and responsibilities bury the softer memories. But they don’t disappear. They wait.
By C.M.6 days ago in Confessions
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