Reflections

I used to write fanfiction like my life depended on it. It was my catharsis. It was how I helped my sorrow of a movie, book or show ending and creating an extended scene, a larger world, deeper relationships and more of something I loved. I have always loved telling my own stories too, but when I was a kid they were told to others by me just saying it. By telling a teacher a story of one beautiful afternoon of kite flying, romanticized fields and a magical sort of adventure, it was more of how she reacted to it—-which was retelling it to my parents and they were astounded over the detail and descriptions of something that never happened.

My love of stories came from knowledge that when I read someone else’s story, however different the experience was, the pain was real, the sadness was real and the joy was real as real can be. Reading Ella Enchanted for instance, has ogres, fairies and curses. It’s relatable because Ella is real. Her loneliness of not being able to express her curse is real. Her anger of having to obey or else she would have physical pain is real too. Her manipulative tactics to save herself from being eaten by Ogres is real. Fantasy or not, we can relate to the protagonist because she has real fears, real dreams, anger, sadness and hope.

Going from my lack of expertise on professional writing and creating characters that were just in my head, fanfiction was a real outlet to express, process and heal from my trauma, pain, malaise and general sadness.

In high school, I started branching out and creating my own worlds, my own characters and my own words on paper.

I never thought that as I grew into my voice, my own author voice would be honed, sharpened and understood in a deep way. Vocal helped me truly envision my author voice in ways I never thought I could. I had only written in the male perspective most of my life, but the challenges that Vocal gave us as writers made me rethink my voice and use it to broaden horizons.

I recently won my first writing contest ever here on Vocal, which surprised me immensely since I’ve been here writing for years. I’m very proud of my work and I’m so humbled by all the talent here, it’s really a huge confidence boost to know the judges recognized my work in an elevated platform. I still need to always grow in my writing, learn, try new things and realize my mistakes (which are many!).

Getting into my process of publishing books, I’ve realized that looking into legit, non-vanity and no hybrid publishing takes years. It took me hundreds of rejections, tons of rejections, and wait—-just a moment, more rejections… until I got a yes. Yes is always better than no haha. Please never pay to have your book published! It’s so worth the wait to find a legit indie publisher that is traditional in the sense that they cover all the costs. Trust me, I’ve had shoddy offers from hybrid and vanity publishers and it ranges from hundreds to (my offer) thousands of dollars.

Be patient! I am not patient at all and I waited, so that must tell you something. I’ve done several book signings, at cafes, comic stores, book sellers & hopefully Barnes & Noble next year. You gotta get yourself out of your comfort zone: call up local stores and cafes, introduce yourself, tell them you have books!

Put your heart & soul into your words. I bleed on almost everything I write. Sometimes, it’s puke haha. Other times, it’s tears.

The pain makes the joy even better!

Check out my books today! I do queer romance (lgbtq), straight romance, fantasy, crime drama, horror and drama stuff:

Link to my book Silent Bites

My self-published Amazon Page

My JMS Books Amazon page

Please support a local author today & buy one of my books & please leave your review!