Some might think one is meshuggah, (crazy in Jewish Swedish slang), for saying they hit a big milestone as a writer for sharing their first bad review. Sometimes the craziest thing is the realest thing we can do for ourselves. It’s scary, I won’t lie, to put this out in the open to the public. Even if only one person reads this, it puts me in the position to be judged. I made peace with it.
I personally feel like being a part of the world is a big show, and we’re all just trying to make our part work, but the reality is that we all are usually in the background instead of the bright flashing lights. We study, research, read, read and read until our brain is overwhelmed and desensitized. We take a full day to even edit one single thought into a coherent sentence, much less, a fully developed narrative. We are the behind the scenes people doing all the nitty gritty stuff hoping we can find some recognition someday.
I was watching the new film, A Real Pain, which entails two very mismatched, Jewish-American cousins on a tour in Poland to honor their grandmother, and I was happily surprised by the idea of blunt honesty in Benji’s character.
He just didn’t care about the social niceties of humanity and said exactly what he felt, thought and believed. It first came off as harsh, rude even. But, by the end, everyone in the tour realized that the human spirit and experience was not about being stoic, quiet and comfortable. It was about change. Real change that brought something important and significant. Even if it only affected a few people in a tour group.
Not talking about our pain, however how small, is a terrible thing.
Yes, it hurt to see my first negative review about one of my books. But, I really pored through it, really analyzing it and I feel there was something to take away. It’s not just about you, I told myself. There is a whole wide world out there with so many different people with vastly different opinions and experiences. Not everyone is going to think your story is their perfect cup of tea.
I will go back to what I said about recognition. I find that even as they found my structural flaws with my tenses and my pov changes as jarring, I still feel seen. I know that tenses are my biggest weakness. The fact this reviewer has shone a big spotlight on it makes me want to fix this problem once and for all.
That wasn’t the only problem they had with my book. I, however, see the timeline issues something I also realized that I needed to honestly reflect on and get a clearer picture of the events in the book. That helped me see what I needed to fix.
Look, I’ll be honest, I’m an impatient writer and I get my raw emotions out there, and I paint my characters in a way that I feel them come alive—-once I feel this is done, I personally feel it’s ready. But, seeing my experience when I’ve been collaborating with other publishers, editing and redesigning content is something that is very important to the publishing industry. I have been working tirelessly to create the best version of my books and I definitely take real pride in making quality content. I even am working to revise the targeted (joking!) book in question.
I write what I know, I write what I feel and I write what I want to read. That’s the only way I know how. I will always stand by my characters and their stories. The only critique I will disagree with is that the dialogue between the characters is unquestionably flawed, yes, but only because that’s how the characters actually talk.
I personally celebrate this first milestone by sharing with you my first bad review for my book, Atonement. If you read this review and still want to give me a chance, I might call you crazy, too, hah.
But, if you want a real person that writes from the bottom of their heart, with valid intentions to write a honest, meaningful message, well, maybe you can find that out for yourself. That’s up to you to determine that. I am a new indie author. I make mistakes. A lot. But, I’m learning too. I want to be better and I know I will be better once I look at my flaws and really reflect.
Thank you, first reviewer, for giving my first bad review. I am looking forward to many more. Well, not necessarily bad reviews, haha, but a mix of hopefully good, bad and everything in between.
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More stories from Melissa Ingoldsby and writers in Confessions and other communities.
I’m acting like
I’m acting like I’m fierce enough for this and it’s killing me inside. I’m not insightful enough to know what to do, but I have survived this long by being brave. Being brave is a flexible experience and muscle. You can still be terrified when you’re showing your bravery in the face of injustice. In fact, that’s the most important time to be brave. When you’re scared shitless. When you know you’ll still get that punch. It’s a muscle you have to grow. It’s painful and you get sore but it is how you keep going. I grew mine from a brutal seed that required too much to produce even a single leaf. Is my dysphoria from my trauma? Why can’t I watch Love and Death without reverting to a childlike state where I relive my deepest nightmares? Why does the world showcase such beauty in the face of gravity defying agony and horror? The beauty grew from that horror. That’s why I feel beautiful. But I am not talking about American Beauty.
By Melissa Ingoldsby2 years ago in Confessions
Comments (8)
This was heartfelt & inspiring! Your level of maturity is admirable in handling criticism. I will be employing your reflective stance the next time that I encounter a literary critique! Thx 4 sharing! 🫶🏾💕
Well as some say no press is bad press in the end. Kudos on the courage to share it but yeah I hope you don't take it too much to heart. It's poison if you do; I can confirm. Keep being you💛
I don't think I'd classify this as a bad review, if I were you. I felt that it was very constructive. They could have just said the story is bad and be done with that. But they took the time to point out certain flaws and I feel that's a win. I mean, someone read your book entirely and was nice enough to provide a helpful feedback rather than a shallow comment. Thank you so much for sharing this with us Merly.
Melissa, it shows strength and a willingness to take your art seriously. I have published a dozen or more books over the past 20 years and usually receive good reviews but I have received several negative reviews. It does sting when you see criticism on something you’ve put out there. But from the criticism I have learned and grown. The number one most important thing I do before I publish any work of literature is I have it proofread. Proofreading is so very important. I look for grammatical and punctuation errors, I look for errors in sentence and paragraph structure, and I look for congruity in tenses. timelines are so important. You want to keep a timeline that makes sense because if your timeline is all messed up, the story is not going to make sense to the reader. I used to have a big problem with timelines. And don’t get me on the critiques I’ve received for the interview show I do on YouTube. One person recently commented that I am wooden in my presentation. So after that, I started using a Teleprompter which has helped and I actually now practice before I record my show. It’s helping, but I still have a ways to go. You are a very talented young lady, and I know that you will do very well. Just keep on doing what you’re doing, improve where you can, and proofread, proofread, proofread!
In truth we Earn bad reviews. Most good reviews are from friends and family members so they come easy. But to have some one take the time to say a review in their honest opinion, good or in this case bad....you earned that. Congratulations
I commend you for sharing your review. It was constructive, I think. They had obviously engaged with your novel enough to pinpoint what aspects they found stood out for them. That, in some warped way, it a form of respect - they finished it and offered comment. They could have abandoned it and said something trite. I always remind people it is their opinion only. There's a lot of other readers out there too who will like the way you write. You've just got to find them. Kudos to you for sharing. Use it, Melissa. Examine your craft. Make it better, hone it or if you like how your writing is, continue as you are. I know you won't discount it.
So many great lessons from this, and gosh you took it with such stride! Proud of ya :)
Melissa, I think you're perfectly right to treat it as a milestone, and use it as a chance to celebrate your writing strengths!