Pause and Play

This is dedicated to King Gee (because he’s the King of this filmmaking ish).

Jump cut. Jump cut. Jump cut. My video had a lot of abrupt transitions from one scene to the next.

Shakiness. Although my camera was on a tripod, I still managed to make the video feel like it was in a wave current. “It feels like we’re in an Ocean,” King Gee rudely chuckled. I remember wanting to burst into tears and run out of that classroom.

Headroom. Horrible headroom. The ceiling and wall took over about seventy-five percent of the frame and left the subject at the bottom of the screen.

Pause. Pause. Pause. Pause. My film professor, who I will continue to acknowledge as King Gee, paused my video roughly every 5 seconds to point out everything wrong about my video. I sunk into my seat. I somehow managed to hold back the tears. But I made up my mind at that moment that I sucked at being a filmmaker and that I was dropping out of college. I knew I was probably going to fail that class anyway.

I felt like a disappointment to King Gee, myself and I knew I would be a disappointment to my parents soon once they found out. I cried as soon as I got back into my dorm. I strongly disliked King Gee. He already was the toughest film professor, but for him to literally murder my video with his words in front of the entire class was a whole new side of him I hadn’t known. Not only was I disappointed, I was straight up embarrassed.

The next week was our spring break, and I surprisingly decided to not go through with the drop out, even though I passed my film class with just a D. I had a better plan: AVOID KING GEE AT ALL COSTS. If he was teaching a class that semester, oh I definitely wasn’t taking it. I was in the middle of my sophomore year, so I only needed to avoid my professor for about two more years.

There was a really important film class that I needed to take that next semester, but since King Gee was teaching it, I would just have to suffer without it. While everyone else advanced to the big boy camera, I was left behind with the rookie ones.

I ended up with a film editing class. I loved that class and it slowly started to re-spark my love and passion for film. For our mid-term project we had to create a self portrait video. I had this cool idea to center it around my name. Since I have a boy/unisex name, you can imagine all the teasing I’ve had growing up. “Khoree (Cory) is a boy’s name,” Everyone would tell me. I made the short film starring the same friend I used in my final for King Gee. Needles to say, I didn’t have high expectations for my feedback or grade, but I personally loved my video. I was proud for the first time in a while. And I was going to stay proud regardless of what anyone else thought.

To my bewilderment, my class and professor loved my video. There was really no constructive criticism. I was honestly thankful for King Gee. I took the harsh feedback he gave me and applied it to my next project. And at that time, my self portrait video was the best thing I had done. Things were starting to look up.

At my college, we had a Best of Show show. The best short films and videos from that semester were chosen to be a part of the show. It was basically our own film festival. The film professors only pick the best of the best to be in it. It’s mostly Juniors and Seniors since their work is more advanced.

Around finals, I was sitting in my editing class, and I saw my professor walk up to a couple people and tell them that their self portrait videos were chosen to be in the Best of Show. I was super happy for them because it’s not easy to make it in the show, especially as a Sophomore. But when my professor walked up to me next, and told me that my self portrait was also chosen to be in the Best of Show I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I thought it was a mistake. I thanked my professor for picking me and she told me that she didn’t. She told me that King Gee saw my video and he handpicked me himself. I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped to the floor. Again, King Gee made me want to cry and run out of the classroom. But this time it was happy tears and shocked tears if you will.

At that moment, I felt like Wonder Woman. I felt like I could conquer anything in the world. In that moment, my heart grew three times bigger for King Gee like the Grinch. I still don’t know how he even came across my video. I can imagine how proud he was of my improvement when he saw my self-portrait. I'm just glad I wasn’t there for him to pause it every couple seconds.

Due to King Gee, I got to see my video on a big screen in a movie theater in downtown Pittsburgh. A Telly Award winning Producer, Director, Editor and so forth thought my work was worthy to be in my college’s film festival. That’s still one of the greatest highlights in my journey. Because of him, I have since moved on to be in two other film festivals after I graduated college.

Dear King Gee,

Thank you for the tough love. Thank you for the tough feedback. Thank you for being the best film professor in history. I wouldn’t be the filmmaker I am today if it weren’t for you. I wouldn’t be so good at paying attention to close detail if it weren’t for your classes. I’d still be super scared to step behind that camera. Thanks for the lessons and confidence boost as you tore it down but to only rebuild it. I’m grateful for every memory and moment. Thanks for your corny jokes in class and the nickname Coffee that you gave me and stuck with all of the film students as well. I never would’ve imagined that we would end up having a great student and teacher relationship. I wouldn’t be headed in the same direction that I am if it weren’t for your direction. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I also would like to thank you for all of the pauses, as I have learned to apply them to my current work and life in general. It’s okay to pause sometimes and reflect on what I’ve done and make any corrections that are needed. It’s okay, as long as I press Play again. Most of all, thank you for not giving up on me when my work was truly terrible. You saw the potential in me that I didn’t know was there. I’m so glad that I didn’t give up. I’m so glad that I pressed Play.

Best,

Coffee