New beginnings

Before I could only dream about a breezy palm tree. Remembering when I was a kid deciding what to do with my life. Knowing I wanted more . Always begging and pleading my family to move where we visited . Then one day I was lucky enough to live there . Dreaming so deep to keep going . Moving forward in life . At first scared now eagerly planning my life . My happiness my future and what is deserved. So ready and excited . Packing for my next adventure . Applying for jobs and getting ready to move forward in life . A very long and abundant life . Full of luxury and riches just like I always dreamed of .

I sometimes think of the past in a very loving way. Sometimes it’s hard when you lose people. It’s even harder to lose things you liked . Like a walk in the park with Barney . Cough cough, I’m officially even more disappointed. What is next in my life I know is worth it though.

Now I realize where my life and direction is meant to go. I am so grateful to god it makes me feel so blessed . Finally living in my favorite place . And being semi in a state of peace for myself. I’m so excited for life and to be in this mindset for my life. As being a multi faceted entrepreneur. I’m so thankful to learning some new things and my own drive . I’m really surprised at how much I actually grew and how much I learned. Seriously I just am kind of amazed today at the adversity I’ve been through this year .

I am thinking of the world I can create and I’m kind of thinking for the best . I can’t wait to just see my life unfold within the next few months . All the amazing things I can do and I’ll be in a place with no interruptions. Or meetings no annoying things that make me feel upset, or that break my boundaries . It’s going to make me very happy to not deal with anymore. I can’t stop being happy now and I realize it was the change in direction. It was forced somewhat but I don’t care . I feel as though everything will be ok and where I want to go is peaceful.

It’s so hard to be productive in the wrong place with the wrong energy . And it’s really insane because your being productive in things . But it feels more draining and it isn’t really a feeling you can explain to your own self . And it’s not necessarily something you can even explain to your own self . It’s really a odd time all around. It’s stressful and you feel like a sore thumb. And your just not in the right vibe because your vibe is somewhere else .

So you have to figure out where that is . And move forward to that place so you can be happy. Or you will never grow and you’ll never be ok until you do move. Which I was nudged to do so in general. I remember now and it’s time to keep moving forward. It’s a world full of new vaccines and diseases. I can’t wait to have a large salary . I want to pay for all those things with the money I make . Helping people is my passion and I can’t help others like this . I just am longing for the for that . I miss helping others . It makes me angry when I can’t .