MY JOURNEY

As I sit here, reflecting on my life, I'm reminded that things haven't exactly gone according to plan. Growing up, I had it all mapped out: primary school, high school, university, a dream job, marriage, and kids. But life had other plans.

Fast forward to today, and I'm 22, fresh out of university, and jobless. My days are filled with scouring job listings, even ones outside my field of study. LinkedIn and Upwork have become my closest companions.

Currently, I'm living with a friend due to financial constraints. It's tough, but I'm trying to view this as a learning experience. I'm determined to stay positive and focus on the future.

As the first child in my family, I've always been independent, but this journey is testing my resolve. I'm terrified about what the future holds, but I'm also excited and hopeful.

My true passions are writing and makeup. These creative outlets allow me to express myself authentically. However, self-doubt and fear of not being good enough hold me back.

I've realized that my past experiences have shaped my confidence. To overcome this, I'm committed to:

1.⁠ ⁠Breaking down goals into achievable steps

2.⁠ ⁠Exploring writing and makeup opportunities

3.⁠ ⁠Seeking support from mentors and therapy

4.⁠ ⁠Celebrating small victories

*My Journey Forward*

Graduation was supposed to mark a new chapter, but unpaid school fees have halted my progress. I'm stuck, searching for jobs that don't align with my aspirations. Yet, I remain hopeful.

A wise phrase stays with me: "Life can't always be good, and it can't always be bad. Balance is inevitable." I'm patiently awaiting that equilibrium.

My daily worries weigh heavily:

- What's next?

- Will I find stability?

- Can I overcome anxiety?

Fear grips me:

- Failure's uncertainty

- Anxiety's relentless grip

- Death's permanence

Losing my dad at a young age forced me to grow up too quickly. Childhood slipped away, leaving scars.

Anxiety has become an unwelcome companion:

- Constantly racing thoughts

- Fear of the unknown

- Dread of potential disasters, no matter how unlikely

Still, I hold onto hope and prepare for the worst.

Maybe it is because I have a gut feeling that somehow, everything is going to be alright. Like I said BALANCE.

I am not an emotional person at all. Can’t even remember the last time I cried or even reacted to how I felt about something. I always under react so as not to alarm other people and also to make them feel better.

I am the person who advices everyone and tries to piece everything together but I am falling apart and no one is here to hold me or stop me from falling apart.

I always feel like a burden whenever I want to voice my feelings. I feel like I am disturbing the other person. I would rather suffer in silence? Am I the only one that feels this way?

Well back to the job thing. I have applied to more than 45 companies and organizations hoping to get a reply. I really hope something works out because right now getting food is eat is hard. Writing is liberating to me. I feel free. I feel like something just left me . I feel like I can take on more things because I have left things behind. I check my emails every 5 minutes just incase. Wish me luck.

As I navigate this limbo, I've decided to document my journey. This is just the beginning.

*Next Chapter*

- Overcoming anxiety

- Finding balance

- Career growth

- Personal triumphs

This journey may be uncertain, but I'm determined to find my footing.