Life, Lies, and Fulfillment: A Journey to Self-Discovery(Beyond The Surface)

I have seen so many new year(s). At least with so many ups and downs, I can boldly say life is magical, miraculous, or scientific in a way I have come to know but still not fully understand. Whatever you believe life is to you is in one way the truth, in another way a plain lie. Life itself has no sides, but it does sometimes…

As a growing child, I see many people come to their senses every new year to sit for once in their life putting their life thoughts and plans into words and they will forget them all after two months into the new year and repeat this process again and again every new year. But oh my God what’s wrong with us humans?

Telling myself the truth has been the hardest part of my dear life. So, one day I got up so early in the night and spoke to my dear self in tears that henceforth I will always see myself for who I am. I dare not lie to myself. I dare not prove anything to anyone. I dare not say to myself or betray myself because in truth I was tired of telling lies, trying to fit in, trying to do this or that. Oh, I just said this, my inner man. Dear, from today I want to be different and be me…simple!

You know life has been a mess. Growing up you are already pushed into a belief system that you did not bargain for or never agreed to and if you try to make some adjustments to all the overwhelming stuff already thrown at you, you can be considered a sinner, a person who rebels or someone trying to go astray. You know all that stuff. But my dear, I am tired, so I have carved a path to myself and questioned my inner self about what life really is or means. I just want to be free and ponder who life is. I just want to really know what the meaning of life and the path to fulfilment is. You know there is this part of life where you just want to become alone and ponder about it all. Find what and how you can have peace and live a self-fulfilling life. Life can be empty when you don’t have direction, purpose, and fulfilment and no matter what you do or how you try when these conditions are not met it is difficult to be inwardly happy. So, what makes us happy and fulfilled?

Let us be truthful if we can be to ourselves. Life is virtually money. You know you can’t buy life with money, but you can’t do without money when you have life. But honey, there’s something deeper than money… and oh dear, there is this feeling when you have money and when you don’t…so what can be satisfying?

And oh, silly me before I forget don’t talk to me about Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Taoism and the like. I just want to serve GOD. I am tired of all these claims of one religion being the absolute route to GOD. Every one of them is simply good and I don’t want to fight about it…just let me be GOD knows his people…

And to myself this year if you must know I didn’t have a New Year resolution there are many of them on my bookshelf I can’t remember. I have loads of them from being a doctor (MD) to flying to the moon or should I shamefully talk about my long lists of building an empire of business as an entrepreneur… all in my diary (Maybe I should give them to you, dhur! Lol!). Perhaps, one day my children will all read from it and laugh at my stupidity… is scary but in all, all I want is just fulfilment, meaning to life and purpose of life… but dreams can be achieved too with an intentional attitude…

Life is complex with no formula and me too I am part of it, a single one at that!